20200116 Daily report

My job every day is to keep track of how many calories I am eating.  Some days that is easy and some days that is hard. 

This is one of the hard days.  That’s because I have been having some intestinal issues since Monday, and it’s reached the point where I am having trouble going on controlling my food intake.  Yesterday I was very tired and drained, especially by evening.  Today, full of energy.  Yesterday, I was too cold.  Today, I was too hot.  Lots of intestinal activity since Monday.  All week, I have done a good job of keeping my calorie intake under control.  Not today!  

So I’m not going to go on about it.  Hopefully my body will take care of it by this weekend.  I’m not feeling ill and it’s not affecting my life much – I’m not taking any medication even.  I can wait a little longer.  

-The Doctor

20200115 Daily report

Every day is a new day at the Doctor of Things.  It’s a new day for things to go right, but it is also a new day for things to go wrong.  If you want things to go right with your weight control lifestyle, you can make it easier on yourself.  I like to make food ahead, and even plan out my meals for the week ahead of time.  It’s what the weekend is for!  It does take some time to do that.  But in exchange, there is no having to roam around looking for things to eat at critical moments! 

When you are in calorie deficit, the last thing you want is having to put off a meal just because you don’t know what to pick.  Then there’s a lot of pressure to just start grazing on many things.  It’s also hard to keep track if you are just grabbing and eating whatever comes to hand.  Make it easy on yourself.  

I know what I will be having for lunch Wednesdays!

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – steel cut oats (230) 

  • 230 calories

Lunch – Big Greek Cafe Famous $5 Gyro Wednesdays!!!!! (600)

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – 3.5oz meatloaf (310); whole wheat wrap (110); potatoes and carrots (90); small peanut butter and jelly bread (90)

  • 600 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); kitkat (70); cookie (95); pretzels (150); chocolate almonds (150)

  • 545 calories

Total for the day: 1975 calories (limit 1850)

They all work

My position is that losing weight is a mental rather than a physical challenge.  That is, the method you choose for losing weight almost doesn’t matter to your body.  People are losing weight by avoiding fat, avoiding meat, avoiding sugar, or limiting calories generally.  My father has lost a good amount of weight by avoiding fat in his diet.  I have lost 80+ pounds by restricting general calories (though I am definitely cutting carbohydrates more than anything else).  

Look at the top diets listed in the US News and World Report:

  • Weight Watchers
  • Vegan
  • Volumetrics
  • Flexitarian
  • Jenny Craig
  • Ornish
  • Engine 2
  • Mayo Clinic
  • Raw Food
  • Dash

I don’t even know what most of those diets are.  And most people in the US probably don’t either.  You know what I don’t see on this list, though, are high fat diets like Keto, Atkins, and other low carbohydrate types.  Apparently US News and World Report ranks the diets by how well they fit to a subjective standard of how nutritionally balanced and healthy they seem to their staff writer.  

That’s nonsense, of course.  Mark Twain said over 100 years ago that all diets are healthy.  There is little evidence of any particular diet program increasing most people’s lifespan.  But on Reddit and other weight forums I have noticed most people are losing weight quickest using variations on the Keto diet.  I am biased towards effectiveness in losing weight, though.  

My father is fond of saying that if there are multiple treatments for some condition, none of them work.  But in this case, I think all of them work equally well as vehicles for a person who is disciplined and psychologically prepared to lose weight.  These plans all give a framework to that discipline.  

Pick any one!  But prepare your thinking carefully.

-The Doctor

20200113 Daily report

Being in control of your weight happens one day at a time.  That’s no fun and takes effort.  But you can make it worthwhile.  What are you giving up, anyway?  And what are you getting back?  If you decide the trade is worth it, you might be able to convince yourself to do it.  

The Doctor gave up several things: eating to satiety, carefree living, and convenience.  I willingly gave that up to become a new person.  That new person doesn’t get to fill himself with food.  He takes some care to plan his meals, count calories, and portion.  And he has to work at it: planning, shopping, cooking, and watching the clock.  

What would make any of that worthwhile?

Steak n Cheese, almost Philly but not quite

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – BLT wraps: 4 strips of Kirkland thick cut bacon (280); one whole wheat wrap (110); lettuce, tomato slices, and horseradish sauce (30)

  • 420 calories

Lunch – Diner steak and cheese sandwich (500)

  • 500 calories 

Dinner – 6 ounces cooked rice (190); 20 ounces vegetable curry (450)

  • 640 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (120); chocolate cookies (190)

  • 310 calories

Total for the day: 1870 calories (limit 1850)

Take care!

I had lunch late.  Then I had dinner late.  (It was a tough schedule today.)  Luckily, with careful preparation over the weekend, I had dinner ready (veg curry) and I knew I was buying lunch today.  Being prepared takes some of the guesswork and stress out of life.  But since I am eating so few calories for my age and weight (about 1850 per day), my body gets pretty demanding about eating on time, and eating food that is worth all the effort.  Delaying meals is not good practice.  I will have to make that up to myself later.  

I was reading this weekend about Ethan Suplee, who played ‘Randy’ on the show My Name is Earl.  At one point, he weighed 500 pounds and he was recently as low as 220 pounds.  There weren’t a lot of details about how he achieved that kind of weight loss, but he was in an odd situation because he found being heavy was actually good for his acting work.  He also said that he weighed 200 pounds at age 10, which is very unusual.  

Sadly, I don’t have that excuse.  I had a fairly normal weight as a kid and only got very heavy at the end of graduate school and afterwards in my adult life.  With any luck, I will be able to beat Suplee’s lowest weight this year, though I didn’t start at 500 pounds.  

Take care of yourself as you work on your difficult self!

-The Doctor

20200111 Weekly weigh-in

245.4 pounds

That’s how much the Doctor weighed this morning.  It’s a bit higher than the 237.4 pounds I weighed on November 30, 2019.  It’s also the first time I have weighed myself since November 30, 2019!  Was 237.4 my low-water mark?  Am I ever going to weigh less than that?  What am I working towards in 2020?

For the last month and a half, I have been effectively taking a break from the weight control lifestyle.  I was still recording what I was eating, more or less, but not as carefully.  I was also not trying to restrict my intake very much, though I didn’t think I had eaten enough to really gain weight.  Now, I know!  Maybe I was wrong, since my weight is up, but we will see what happens once I have a week or two of successful intake control.  On the good side, I have had a month and a half to slow down and take a look at my body.  I bought some better-fitting clothes and thought about the future.  Why am I doing this, anyway?  What will happen once I achieve an appropriate weight?  It’s one thing to carefully restrict your intake to lose weight, but what is it like to restrict your intake to maintain a weight?  Is it really something I will have to pay close attention to forever?

Coming off a break

The month or two before I took my break from weight control, I was starting to have a hard time.  My appetite was getting out of control, and I was hungry for carbohydrate rich snacks and foods.  At the time, I thought I was probably having a physical reaction to an intestinal illness or something.  But I realize now it might have been more emotional.  The weight loss I had last year did depend on a lot of things in my life staying manageable.  And I put a lot of work, effort, and concentration into weight control.  I was maybe more tired than I realized.

To the good, I am a person who can lose 80 pounds.  I couldn’t say that before.  I’m still not a person who lost 120 pounds.  That is yet to come, if I can make weight control my top value and goal for this year, too.  Paying attention is a harder way to live than my former carefree lifestyle, when I didn’t think about any of this.  I have to recognize that, too.  So now I have more questions to ask myself: what would satisfy me in my life?  How does weight loss fit into what I am trying to achieve in other parts of my life?  Is there an emotional cost?  What would make that worthwhile?  How could I recharge?  

Learn about yourself to change yourself!

-The Doctor

20191129 Daily report

How do you stay on a diet?  I don’t.  

Call it what you want, I associate dieting with temporary changes.  It can be effective if you are someone who just has a few pounds to lose (less than 10) and generally have a system that works at keeping your weight under control.

When your eating and weight are out of control – say you are 120 pounds overweight – you don’t have a situation that can be controlled with temporary changes or dieting.  You need a new lifestyle, a system you can live out, a new set of values to live by.  

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you stop eating things you like, either.  But it does mean that you limit yourself as to quantity.  That means measurement.

1/12 of a 4000 calorie pie

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 1C mango Kefir (200)

  • 200 calories

Lunch – 1/12 slice pumpkin pie (340); whipped cream (25); 4oz turkey (120); 1T cranberries (25); 1T gravy (25);

  • 535 calories 

Dinner – 1/3 Aldi pizza (340); with extra cheese (105); and pepperoni (40); broccoli casserole (230); 

  • 715 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); chocolates (240); beef jerky (90);

  • 410 calories

Total for the day: 1860 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

After Thanksgiving

When I went to the pool today, it was full.  Everybody wanted to work off their holiday meals!  At home, I have plenty of holiday left.  Look at all the pie!  When I was living my old life, which involved a lot of weight gain, I would have thought nothing about eating a huge hot turkey sandwich and a big (unmeasured) piece of pie the day after Thanksgiving.  Maybe two pieces.  

A hot turkey sandwich, if you don’t know, is all the Thanksgiving leftovers warmed and placed on a piece of bread.  Then you pour reheated gravy all over the top (and cranberry sauce perhaps) and eat it up.  It’s almost as good as Thanksgiving in the first place.  I had an abridged version today, with just 4oz turkey and a small measured amount of gravy and cranberries.  Tomorrow I will create an experimental sandwich –  the hot turkey wrap!  I had a great success adapting Reuben sandwiches to the wrap format and I don’t see why this would be different.  My mother would sometimes reheat the turkey in gravy on the stovetop, I need to try it.  I can hardly wait for tomorrow so I can enjoy it properly! 

Today I managed to get back under control calorie wise.  I don’t feel hungry or deprived at all, since I had pumpkin pie, pizza, and leftover turkey and broccoli casserole with cheese sauce.  It’s the end of a week, a week full of out-of-control eating, so I expect the scale to be very judgmental tomorrow.  I mean, accurate, tomorrow.  But I am full of hope for the week to come.  No matter how bad my number is tomorrow, the next week will be lower.  

Have a good weekend!

-The Doctor

20191126 Daily report

Paying attention is a transforming act.  When you pay attention – to what you weight, and what you are eating, and how much, and how you feel about it, and why you are eating, and when – you gain a store of self knowledge that is nearly as good as dieting. 

Today, I know how much I weigh.  I couldn’t have said that a year ago; I avoided the scale.  One you start paying attention, you can ask yourself: do I like what I’m doing?  Do I like all these things about myself?  And if not, maybe I should do something about them.  

So pay attentnion.

The chicken was good, the biscuits not so much

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – BLT wrap (200)

  • 200 calories

Lunch – meatloaf (500); 3/4 whole wheat wrap (80)

  • 580 calories 

Dinner – chicken pot pie (530); Cheerios (200); milk (100); cookies (200)

  • 1030 calories

Snacking – yogurt (150); chocolate nuts (160); kefir (200); bread and hummus (230); corn chips (140); bread and jelly (400)

  • 1280 calories

Total for the day: 3090 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

Pay attention anyway

The temptation to not write any of my food consumption down today was strong.   But I did it anyway.  And it was helpful.  I was hungry early in the day – I had lunch before 11AM.  I had dinner at 4PM, and I was quite hungry.  I had more dinner at 6PM and then lots of snacking and bits and pieces of food through 9PM.  The evening food was heavy on simple carbohydrates.  

I’m not sure what kind of illness I have.  It’s low grade.  I have intestinal issues, but not severe.  I feel cold at night, and need a lot of sleep.  And I’ve had it for almost three weeks!  It’s getting tiresome.  So I have started on yogurt.  All the commercials are full of the idea that you can help your intestines and improve the kinds of bacteria and critters that live there, by eating yogurts with live cultures in them.  I’ll try it.  But I had 3000 calories today, that is way out of control.  

And here it is 10.45PM.  I have to go to bed, or I feel like I will never get better.  Good night!

-The Doctor

20191125 Daily report

The daily task is to keep a food journal.  It’s one part of the mechanism I use for weight control.  #1 regulate food intake and #2 weigh yourself regularly.  Keeping a food journal isn’t the only meaning of regulating your food intake, but it is the most consequential.  Once you know how much you are eating, you will find out how much food you need to eat to gain weight….lose weight….keep the same weight.  That kind of knowledge allows long term weight control.  And weight control is the goal, rather than dieting.  Weight control is yours forever, while dieting is temporary.  

Steak umm, but a good one

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – Spanish tortilla (333); 1.5 teaspoons mayonnaise (40); whole wheat wrap (110);

  • 485 calories

Lunch – Steak and cheese hoagie (500); 

  • 500 calories 

Dinner – 15oz split pea soup with ham (465); toast (130); cream cheese (70);

  • 670 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); yogurt (150); chocolate nuts (130); cookie (110);

  • 470 calories

Total for the day: 2120 calories (limit 1800)

long lasting

My intestinal complaint is really hanging on into the third week.  I need to get to bed so I don’t have a lot to say tonight.  Just two things:

  1. A lady at work complimented my weight loss and wanted to tell me about her husband, who she said has recently lost 80 pounds after a health scare.  Very interestingly, his approach upends all my observations.  He gave up eating everything he likes for dinner (on Saturdays he allows himself to indulge a little) and during the week eats lean protein (fish or plain chicken), brown rice and vegetables.  For lunch he only eats fruit.  She is sure that he does not count calories OR measure what he is eating.  This is super dedication and willpower.  I have met other people whose eating goals have been transformed by health related concerns and I admire the dedication.  Such people are looking at food and eating a different way than they used to.  This lady told me that her husband’s rule is now that he considers the impact every bite will have on his health.  This is different from my “vanity” project where I am just trying to lead a more fulfilling life and live out higher goals.  But congrats to him.  (He really lost 80 pounds and didn’t count any calories????)
  2. I was reading about Mister Rogers (Fred McFeely Rogers of Mr Rogers’ Neighborhood fame) and discovered that he controlled his weight very successfully in his adult years.  As a child he was overweight, but for most of his adult life he weighed 143 pounds.  Late in life he also quit eating meat altogether, and he never smoked or drank alcohol anyway.  I wonder what were his eating habits and how he managed to keep his weight so stable for so many years.  Maybe he counted calories, but maybe not.  He was a man who developed extremely regular and productive habits, so he probably had a system.  We may never know what it was, but I will look into it.

Good night!

-The Doctor

20191124 Daily report

Getting your mind right is the first necessary step.  When you are a person who is gaining weight, and unhappy about it, the first problem is that you don’t have the mindset needed to control your weight.  When I was gaining weight, I was only interested in shallow eating goals and those dominated my eating behavior.  Trying to lose weight meant going against my goals and feeling unfulfilled and deprived all the time.  Every instant felt like punishment.  My ingenuity was devoted to finding ways around the dieting. 

If I was a person with tons of willpower, I could force myself to lose some weight, probably.  But I’m not.  And maybe neither are you.  So you have to change your mind, like I did.  What kind of mind do you need to control your weight?  

Split pea and ham soup in the autumn - perfect

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – BLT wraps with bacon (300) and a whole wheat wrap (110) and lettuce and tomato and horseradish (20); plus extra bacon (70);

  • 500 calories

Lunch – 15oz split pea soup (465); Italian bread toast (150);

  • 615 calories 

Dinner – chicken pot pie (500);

  • 600 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); 

  • 80 calories

Total for the day: 1795 calories (limit 1800)

Continuing the balancing act

Once you have your mind right, then you are living a life where controlling your body’s weight is high up on your list of life goals – also known as your moral hierarchy.  (You don’t gain this control to become more moral, it just means that you don’t eat anything without considering how it will affect your calorie count for the day.  On that front, you are taking on responsibility for your body, which is perfectly moral.)  Almost every successful long term and large amount or weight loss that I have read about involves counting calories one way or another.   I keep a food journal on a Google spreadsheet.  That way I can access it anywhere, and I have committed to writing down what I eat almost as soon as I eat it.  So I control how much I eat.  

The act of writing down everything you eat means you are serious about monitoring your intake and controlling your weight.  But how do you get the motivation to do that?  Like I said, it’s all about getting your mind right.  If one of the top goals of your existence is to control your weight, the problem simplifies.  I changed the reasons I was eating so that feeling full was no longer the goal.  My goal now is to be fulfilled, rather than filled.  Maximum fulfillment comes from enjoying what you are eating, and anticipating the next meal with excitement.  Taking care of yourself would be another way of putting it.  You are now trying to meet your own needs for fulfillment through quality, not quantity.  Therefore your ingenuity is engaged in finding ways to make your lifestyle work.  It’s quite fulfilling.  

The last two weeks I have not been able to control my food intake well.  I’ve had low grade intestinal trouble.  It’s also gotten cold, and my food journal over the last year has several instances of me overeating when I feel cold.  I’m not sure what to make of that, but it has been observed.  I’ve also been quite tired (probably the illness) and have had unusual demands on my time.  This all means it’s been hard to keep my balance (the balance between emotional fulfillment and eating less).  And I miss it.  I have really gotten to like the focus on weight control and how I am living that out in my life.  So I am planning out this week (which includes Thanksgiving) to make sure it is easy to get my balance back. 

It will be easy to know when that happens.  When my digestive system is cleared out and I am living close to the edge, meal times and tastes are very vivid and immediate.  My body feels different.  The cost is that when you are living close to your calorie edge like that, you have to pay a lot of attention.  It’s easy to neglect yourself and then lose control.  Think of it this way: you’re asking a lot from part of yourself.  In return, you must make a promise that you will make it worth your while.  You must keep the promise or else your will, mind, and body won’t cooperate.  

It’s interesting, this idea of living close to the calorie edge.  I will think about that some more.

Happy Thanksgiving week!

-The Doctor

20191121 Daily report

A weight control lifestyle is a long term approach to the problem of weight gain.  It is useful to think of it in layers.  Every meal is counted in a food journal.  There is a calorie goal every day.  Every week is a weighing, where the effects of the previous week are checked.  That means, realistically, that every day is a new day and every week is a new week.  A chance to start again, to make things better.  Today didn’t go well?  Tomorrow can be a perfect day.  This week was spoilt?  Never mind, you can work on having a good week now. 

This is all is part of what makes weight control a success in the long term.  You can persue perfection every day and every week.  

Spanish tortilla is eggs and potatoes and olive oil...so simple

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 2T peanut butter (190); 2T strawberry jelly (100); toast (150);

  • 440 calories

Lunch – catered office lunch of chicken kebabs, salads, falafel and pita, with cupcakes (400);

  • 400 calories 

Dinner – 1/6 of a Spanih tortilla (333); 1T mayonnaise (100)

  • 433 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); granola bar (100); chips and salsa (150); baguette and cheese (200); chocolate almonds (160);

  • 690 calories

Total for the day: 1963 calories (limit 1800)

Another busy day

No deep thoughts today.  I have to run and take care of some things.  I am still recovering from my intestinal complaint, but I noticed I feel less cold during the day.  Things are looking up!  On the other hand, I just ate about 400 calories at 9PM, which is not the way to control your weight.  

Spanish tortilla is a family favorite, everyone eats it.  It’s 10 eggs, 1/2C olive oil, 1 onion, 1# of potatoes, 1/4tsp pepper and 1.5tsp salt.  The onions, potatoes, and oil, with half the salt are cooked on the stovetop (covered) until fully softened, then the whisked eggs, pepper and remaining salt are folded in, briefly set and then put into a 425 degree oven for 9-10 minutes.  The whole thing is 2000 calories (thanks, olive oil!).  It works for every meal, though I don’t usually make it in the summer (too hot).  

Enjoy! 

-The Doctor

20191120 Daily report

The realization I made was that being thin doesn’t just happen.  There is no mindset, no moral compass, and no secret that will get you there.  It takes direction and it takes paying attention and it takes work.  Every day, it must be made to work.  And why would you think of doing all that?  Aren’t people just thin or fat, by nature?  Don’t I gain weight because my parents were overweight?  Some people just have that fast metabolism, right?  They can eat whatever they want.  People like us just get fat.  The weight just jumps straight onto my belly!  It must be true.  The alternative is hard to contemplate.

People want to be thin.  They go to great lengths to try, so they are motivated.  But people need a framework and a proper direction or dieting doesn’t work.  The most productive thing you can do is change your mind.  Figure out what you get out of eating.  What is the goal?  Is that goal working for you?  

Gyro Wednesday!

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – skipped (00)

  • 0 calories

Lunch – Big Greek Cafe $5 Famous Gyro Wednesday!!!(600); 

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – 1/4 Aldi frozen pizza (225); baguette piece (200); 4oz ham (200); pumpkin coconut curry soup (100);

  • 725 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); chocolate almonds (300)

  • 380 calories

Total for the day: 1705 calories (limit 1800)

Quicky

I had a busy night.  So I won’t post anything long today, but I will say I’m not sure why I felt like skipping breakfast, I just wasn’t hungry until 11.30.  Since I am slowly recovering from my intestinal complaint I won’t argue.

Enjoy your night!

-The Doctor

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