20190818 Daily report

Every day, I write down what I eat in my food journal.  It is one commitment I have made to myself.  That commitment is a consequence of my choice to recreate myself.  I am now a person who cares a lot about his body weight being under control.  (If it’s under control, then I can choose how thin I want to be.)  This is a deeper goal than “dieting” or “being thin”.  It’s a goal worthy of a new lifestyle and a new set of moral values.  The revolution occurred in my mind, and my body is slowly living out the consequences.  That’s much better than keeping my mind and values the way they were, and forcing myself to diet and be thin.  I would be fighting myself all the time!  

Spanish tortilla is eggs, onions, potatoes and olive oil

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – Bratwurst wraps (300)

  • 600 calories

Lunch –  3x Spanish tortilla slices (166); mayonnaise (100); noodles and cheese (100)

  • 700 calories 

Dinner – ham (90); Muenster (140); and toasted bread (160) sandwich

  • 390 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80)

  • 80 calories

Total for the day: 1770 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

Things are going well (!)

Balance is very important.  I must balance appetite and satisfaction, for one thing.  That means I want to be hungry just in time for eating.  Too hungry – danger of feeling unsatisfied and eating more than I want.  Not hungry enough – the food isn’t as satisfying.  (Food always tastes better when you are hungry.  If you are hungry AND have been looking forward to the exact food you have ready – perfect.)  Also, if I’m not hungry, maybe my last meal was too big. 

I have been training myself to find just the right balance of being hungry (at the right time) and then satisfying that appetite with something worthwhile.  No “diet foods” for me.   They are my definition of unsatisfying.  I am also allowing myself to eat any food I want (I mean, any food I am willing to pay the price for).  I often have pizza, or bread, or pretzels, meat, cheese, fruit, vegetables…. I do have preferences but they are a matter of taste and satisfaction rather than diet.    For example: I haven’t had a glass of milk, or apple cider, or popcorn, or a bag of chips, or more than a dozen french fries, in a long time.  Those things just aren’t worth the price when I am restricted to 1800 calories per day.  

One question I am asking myself is: once I have the body weight I want, how will I adapt my system of weight control?  Will I be hungry for meals when I am eating, say, 3000 calories a day instead of 1800?

But that is more for the future.  Right now, I am seeking balance.  By paying attention, it is possible.  But it takes a lot of attention, it is expensive to lose weight and keep off weight – in terms of the attention I am paying.  That’s attention I don’t have for other things.  But for now, it is enough.  My value is to be in control of my body’s weight and the price is paying attention.  

-The Doctor

20190817 Saturday weigh-in

On Saturday, I weigh myself.  It’s one of the two mechanisms I use to ensure control of my body’s weight.  (1) Regulate your food intake and (2) weigh yourself regularly.  

(1) has to do with what I eat and how much, and when during the day.  I am learning more and more about myself, which makes regulating intake much easier. 

(2) means in general once per week.  This week, I tried weighing myself every day, and there was variation in the early part of the week.  But there really wasn’t by the end fo the week.    Here’s how I did: 

Lowest number ever

The two weeks ago Saturday weighing had me at 258 pounds, and I was 258 last Sunday too.  So four pounds is a lot to lose in one week, but there were special circumstances.  Since starting my program of weight control I have lost:

Pounds!!
0

49 pounds to go?!

Last week (August 2-9) I had several days of high calorie eating – bad diet days.  This week, I was able to regulate my food intake better, by paying attention and using my self-knowledge to see where I had been letting myself down.  (I sometimes refer to myself in the third person like this, or talk about my body vs. my mind.  All I mean is that there are lots of different layers to a person’s consciousness, and they are not always working together.  My goal is to unify myself towards a positive project, to achieve success.  So far, 71 pounds of success.)

But first, some revelry.  Yay!  The last six weeks have been a trial, my weight coming down but very stubbornly slowly.  Now I am completely healthy, and have used my values and self knowledge to re-align myself with the goal: weight control.  There was immediate success: weight went down from 258 to 254.  Now, four pounds in a week isn’t usual.  But I was coming off a week (Aug 2-9) with several bad diet days, so my system had a chance to clear out this week (Aug 10-17).  So last week’s and this week’s weight loss came together and were visible today.  Next week I don’t expect to have lost four pounds!  

Something different: I weighed myself every day this week.  I was curious.  Interestingly, my weight bounced around a lot the first few days as my system got cleared out from the bad dieting days, then was pretty steady.  So, from Sunday to Saturday the results were:

  • 258.0
  • 257.2
  • 258.8
  • 255.4
  • 255.2
  • 254.8
  • 254.0

I’m not sure I will keep doing this​ daily weighing, but it made Saturday a bit less scary.  

In a way, this week was an amazing experience.  It was a re-awakening , as I realized I had drifted away from my weight loss program successes, and fixed it.  Literally, I felt no hunger after the dinners and it seemed like I had eaten a lot of food!  I was actually worried that I was counting the calories wrongly, it didn’t seem like I could be correct.  But every day (in the last half of the week) the scale showed a lower and lower number.  And today the success is obvious.  That is so inspiring and a reason to keep going.  Getting control of your body’s weight can be a satisfying and rewarding process, but do you ever have to pay attention.

Think hard to find a good goal, and then change yourself to be a person who values the right things that support the goal.  Coordinate those together and it is hard to stop you. 

-The Doctor

20190816 Daily report

I keep a food journal, and write these posts.  Why write it all down every day?  Because that ensures success at controlling my body’s weight.  Successful people sacrifice, and I am sacrificing in order to get thin.  It is also nice to think that what I am experiencing will help someone else.  

What I am sacrificing is the future.  It’s a future where I can eat as much as I like and not worry bout consequences.  It was a fun place to live, for say my whole life up until January 2019.  It was then that I realized that (1) that wasn’t going to work for me if I wanted to be in control of my weight and (2) people who are thin and stay thin really work at it.  I am studying thin people like they are a different species.  Why do they eat?  How do they know to stop?  Why does staying thin take so much effort?  

But if something is worthwhile, it is worth the effort.  Maybe a lot of effort.  

Pizza Friday for me!

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 2x Bratwurst wraps (300)

  • 600 calories

Lunch – 2x corned beef (125); boiled cabbage, carrot, and potato (50); wraps (45); with Thousand Island dressing (15)

  • 470 calories 

Dinner – pizza (450); 3oz chicken strips (125); half cupcake (100)

  • 675 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); 11AM cookies (200)

  • 280 calories

Total for the day: 2025 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

Listening to yourself

I am finding that eating small meals (designed to deliver about 60% of what my body needs to maintain its weight) is very satisfying, if I structure the day carefully.  That means listening to myself.  If I eat certain foods, they stick with me and I am not tempted much to eat between meals.  That means each meal has to be a Meal and not just some stuff.  You have to look forward to it.  That means I have to plan out what I am going to have during the day and the week.  Then I can look forward to that food and it becomes very satisfying to eat it.  It feels like my body and mind are working together that way.  

This week I made sure I was looking forward to every meal.  I had:

  • Spaghetti and meatballs
  • Corned beef and cabbage
  • Red beans and rice
  • Spanish tortilla
  • Grilled bratwurst
  • Corned beef Reuben wraps

I noticed that if I carefully structured the meals when I got hungry for them, and knew in advance what I wanted, I did hardly any snacking, and none after dinner.  Snacking after dinner has always been a problem behavior for me, in the old days I might have effectively eaten a second dinner.  Well after dinner.  Generally I was hungry an hour after waking up, then close to 11:30AM, then 5:30PM.  Not always, but most of the time.  After dinner, if I had done well, I just wasn’t hungry.  Today I went swimming and burned about 600 calories, but I don’t feel deprived or hungry at all. 

In this system, each meal is a reward for letting myself develop an appetite.  Rewards are definitely the way to keep yourself on a weight loss regime.  There are people who say you shouldn’t use food as a reward, and to them I say: “I have lost nearly 75 pounds using food as a reward.  Rewards work if your head is in the right place and the goal of your eating is not fullness but rather a good appetite.” 

You get a good appetite by letting yourself just get a little hungry, and then rewarding yourself with food you really want.  Not too much food, because the goal is to have a good appetite for your next meal – which is also a food you are really looking forward to.  So far the system works.  I have been having a struggle with the last few weeks to lose weight, but I have solved it.  I had gotten careless and let myself slip away from the goal.  It’s amazing how much attention you have to pay, to steadily lose weight.  

Change your mind and your body will follow.

-The Doctor

20190815 Daily report

Every day, I live out a commitment I have made to myself and those close to me.  I am a new person; I believe in different things than before and I look at the world in a different way.  That’s a kind of magic, to look at the world in a new way and to recreate yourself in a way that the world will notice.  My new values include being in control of my body’s weight and to use that control to be thin and fit.  That’s now in my top three of life values.  Flowing from that value is my commitment.  I will (1) regulate my food intake and (2) weigh myself regularly. That does not mean that I will suffer doing that.  On the contrary, I nourish myself with loving care and home cooking.  

Red beans and ricely yours!

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 2 pieces Spanish tortilla (166); whole wheat wrap (90); mayonnaise (60)

  • 490 calories

Lunch – 2x grilled bratwurst wraps (300)

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – 12 ounces red beans and rice (375); 5 ounces cooked rice (160)

  • 535 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); pre-dinner 3oz chicken strips (100)

  • 180 calories

Total for the day: 1805 calories (limit 1800)

Keeping focused

When I made dinner tonight, I thought I would end up with only a little food on my plate.  To my surprise, a whole recipe of New Orleans red beans and rice (1 pound of beans, 3 ounces bacon, 9 ounces andouille sausage, 7 cups chicken stock, an onion and a bell pepper) came to about 2000 calories.  When I finished cooking it, the whole weighed 4 pounds!  That means 500 calories per pound.  I didn’t quite have that many calories left in my budget for today, but 3/4 pound is still a lot of red beans, check out the picture.  I did not starve!  I am still satisfied (defined as non-hungry) hours later. 

And that was definitely the best red beans and rice I ever made.  Maybe that’s because I was so hungry (it was 6.30 by the time I ate, since it takes so long to make).  I had to have a snack of chicken strips before dinner at 5.30 because I was getting too hungry.  I was worried the snack would ruin my appetite, but that was not the case.  It was so good that putting Tabasco on top didn’t improve the flavor!  I didn’t even add any salt and pepper.  It was perfect the way it came out of the pot.  So that was a perfect cap for my appetite.  Today was a total success, food wise.  I got hungry, and then ate food that was worth the trouble.  

Take care of your appetite!   Use it wisely.

-The Doctor

 

20190814 Daily report

Every day, I keep a food journal as part of my commitment to a new lifestyle of weight control.  For years, I didn’t pay much attention as my weight slowly increased.  I did try a few times to lose some weight, but nothing worked very well  and I soon quit.  The only thing that worked a bit was a low carbohydrate diet, butit turned out therer are two parts to losing weight on a low carb diet: low carbs and low calories!  I had part 1 working really well, but part 2 was lacking.  

Now I just do the calorie counting.  Carbs can be high or low and I don’t care.  Behold my lunch and its big flatbread full of carbohydrates!

Big Greek Cafe! $5 Gyro Wednesday!

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 3 slices Kirkland low fat ham (90); Muenster cheese (140); sandwich bread (140) 

  • 370 calories

Lunch – Big Greek Cafe Gyros sandwich (600)

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – Spanish tortilla (500); 1.5 Tbsp mayonnaise (150); piece of soft pretzel (100)

  • 750 calories

Snacking – morning tea with half and half (80); 

  • 80 calories

Total for the day: 1800 calories (limit 1800)

Hunger is the goal

Today I was very careful to protect my appetite.  That sounds better than hunger, eh?  People don’t like to be hungry, in the context of losing weight and calorie deficits.  I think I could sell the idea of appetite protection better. 

So: today I was careful to protect my appetite.  I didn’t eat after dinner yesterday, and about an hour after I woke up, my appetite was at peak power (that is, I was hungry with a strong adjective in front of it).   It always takes my stomach about an hour to wake up.  Anyway, I spent that first hour dithering over what to have for breakfast.  But once hunger asserted itself, the decision was made instantly with no more waffling.  I toasted some Italian bread and made a terrific breakfast sandwich.  Oh, it was good, with the pickles and mustard and ham and cheese and toasty bread.  That was worth waiting for.  

Remember: when you are hungry, food that you like becomes even better.   It’s like a reward for getting hungry! 

I had tea, too.  That helped the rest of me wake up.  Then I worked until lunchtime.  I was worried that I wouldn’t get hungry by 11.30, because at 11.15 I still didn’t feel anything.  But, by the time I got to the restaurant at 11.40 I was feeling it and by the time I got home to eat my Gyros I was pretty ravenous.  I had been looking forward to that sandwich for days – perfection.  I plunged back into my work and didn’t look up until 5PM.

I was careful not to eat anything before dinner, which was one of my favorite meals.  For dinner I made a Spanish tortilla.  That’s basically an omelette filled with potatoes and onions, all cooked in a half cup (!) of olive oil.  Eggs are only 80 calories each (800 calories in the tortilla recipe) but the olive oil makes up most of the rest (960), then the potatoes (300) and onion (70).  You can see that 1/4 of the tortilla will be ~530 calories.  There’s very little spicing (black pepper and salt) so the olive oil is the star of the dish.  Since it is a Spanish dish I like to use a Spanish olive oil, like the Trader Joe’s version.  Columela also makes a very nice Spanish olive oil.  I enjoyed every bite, though I can’t say I ate the whole meal slowly and carefully – I didn’t eat until about 6.20PM.  That’s a bit late for me.

Now it’s 10PM.  I do not feel even slightly hungry.  There is no need to snack on pretzels or cheese or anything, so I am all set for tonight.  I know that tomorrow when I wake up, and after my stomach wakes up, what I will have.  And I am looking forward to that, and to lunch, and to dinner.  This is very much the way to succeed.  I feel happy and satisfied and not even slightly deprived.  I used my appetite to advantage, and rewarded myself carefully and lovingly.  Since I took care of my appetite, now there is no desire to snack.  Tomorrow’s plan is pulling me forward and I want to have a good appetite so that I really enjoy it.  Hearty appetite to you!

-The Doctor

20190813 Daily report

Dieting is a mug’s game.  It’s a temporary change and comes with a severe danger: you may gain back all the weight you lose.  Instead, change your mind and embrace a strategy of weight control.  Once your thinking is under control, you can bring your eating under control.  Then your body will follow.  Weight control means you are paying a lot of attention to what you are eating, and the rest – why, and how much.  You learn a lot about yourself.  And having taken control of your life is very fulfilling, because you can use the process of self discovery to refine your tastes.   

80 calories per egg. Don't fear the carbohydrates.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – ham (150) and cheese (70) sandwich (140) with 1 Tablespoon of hummus (40)

  • 400 calories

Lunch – 2x bratwurst wraps (300)

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – corned beef and cabbage wrap (250); 2 eggs, 0.5 oz cheese and toast (350)

  • 600 calories

Snacking – 2x Reese’s peanut butter cups (80); 

  • 160 calories

Total for the day: 1760 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

Lead with hunger

During my weight loss work, I am supposed to focus on on how I feel.  I know when I have my food balance right because I feel hungry just in time for the next meal.  I’m not supposed to feel hungry between meals, though there is sometimes a temptation to eat between meals anyway!  But if you focus on being hungry as the signal for eating, then food eaten outside of meals interferes with your signal. 

When you do it right, getting hungry and then satisfying the hunger with something you love to eat is very fulfilling and rewarding.  When you corrupt the signal, it’s less of a reward and there’s less incentive to make it all work properly.  I feel like I have lost this balance.  Looking at my food record the last few weeks, I see a fair amount of grazing after dinner.  Even though the calorie counts have not been that far off, it’s had a bad effect on my weight loss.  Eating after dinner can throw off the whole next day. 

Waking up with your stomach empty is a satisfying feeling.  Isn’t that strange – being unsatisfied is satisfying?  But I rarely wake up hungry.  My stomach seems to take about an hour to wake up after I do.  But the system just works better when I start the day off totally empty.  So that’s a new rule (or newly rediscovered).  Focus on being hungry for breakfast, and empty when you wake up.  Don’t eat after dinner, make sure dinner is satisfying.  

The last few days, I rediscovered this almost by accident, by going to bed on time!  I had to concentrate on getting things done and there was no snacking after dinner.  Immediately that set my days up perfectly for the cycle of hunger and satisfaction.  Food tastes better when you are hungry for it and you can really rev up your anticipation by knowing what you are going to eat, and when.  Satisfying that hunger, with the exact food you want, makes it worthwhile going to the trouble of getting hungry in the first place.  Focus on hunger!

-The Doctor

20190812 Daily report

To lose weight is difficult.  To lose a lot of weight, very difficult.  To then keep your new weight, is almost impossible.  At least, if you are forcing yourself to do it.  That takes willpower I don’t have. 

Over the last eight (!) months, I have learned a lot about myself.  I was able to transform myself into a person capable of losing weight, first a little, and then a lot.  68 pounds is a lot by anyone’s measure.  (I will have about 52 to go before I plan to stop and re-assess.)   Willpower-as-force wasn’t in it.  I tried ordering myself to lose weight many times in the past.  Amazingly, that didn’t work.  So it was time to change.  

Losing weight doesn't have to mean starving!

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – ham (150) and Muenster cheese (70) on bread (140)

  • 360 calories

Lunch – grilled bratwurst wrap (300); 4 ounces cooked spaghetti (200), 2 Costco meatballs (100)

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – 4 ounces corned beef (300); cabbage (25); carrots (25); potatoes (200)

  • 550 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); pretzels and cheese (210); red grapes (100)

  • 390 calories

Total for the day: 1900 calories (limit 1800)

And those were pretty awesome grapes

I went a bit over my calorie limit today.  I didn’t plan on it either, which is a bit weak.  But I did carefully plan out dinner – corned beef and cabbage using a slow cooker!  The cabbage was a bit well done, but everything else was perfectly cooked.  I will probably do that again.  It was so easy.  But then I decided to eat grapes, and they were really, really good.  So I will have to pay for that at my next weighing. 

Good news: I got on the scale again this morning – 257.2 pounds, the lowest ever.  Maybe I was onto something real yesterday, when I speculated that it takes time for extra food (binge) that I ate earlier in the week, to work its way out of the body.  Let’s look at the math.  Normally I would lose about 2 pounds per week which is 0.3 per day over 7 days.  I weighed 258 on Sunday and 257.2 Monday.  That’s an extra half pound less than I should expect.  (Note that this doesn’t mean anything much today – bodies and scales are imprecise and vary a lot.  What will I weigh tomorrow?  If the trend continues I will take it as confirmation.)   

Above, I was talking about what had to change for me to lose weight.  The first thing that had to change was my mind.  In my mind, I didn’t want to bother with getting thin and staying thin.  I thought I was enjoying life, not paying attention and just satisfying whatever cravings I had with as much food as I could eat.  I thought that was pretty satisfying.

But it turns out that lifestyle was kind of shallow and unrefined.  And resulted in overweight.  And as my dissatisfaction with my body’s weight increased, the pleasure of eating without paying any attention, diminished.  I wasn’t able to lose weight by force (willpower).  So what was there to change?  (1) What I valued and (2) how much attention I was willing to pay.  

To examine your values and sacrifice your old self – that is a fundamental transformation.  I’m not the same person anymore.  I pay a lot of attention to what I am eating and how much.  And I value being in control of my weight more than I value most other things in my life.  What happened to my old self?  It’s gone.  How I experience the world and how I grapple with the problem of my body is different.  Now, it is dramatic and exciting and satisfying, and I am living very intensely by paying a lot of attention.  

What do you value?  What are your top three values?  I can tell you one of mine – be in control of your bod’s weight. 

-The Doctor

20190811 Daily report

The daily reports are for my day-to-day experiences on this weight control diet system.  I have never talked about my motivations for wanting to be in control of my weight, and someday maybe I will think about that.  It just seems like an obvious good thing that I want.  It’s much better than wanting to be on a diet, isn’t it?  Dieting is temporary.  When you are after control of your body, you have to come up with a way to do it that works for you, because it’s for the long term (hopefully forever).  Good luck trying to force yourself to lose 120 pounds, with a system you don’t like!  I tried and tried without success.  Now I look for ways to reward myself for succeeding, one day at a time.  

Bratty Mac Grilly

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – Bratwurst wrap (300)

  • 300 calories

Lunch – 2 x bratwurst wraps (300)

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – 6 ounces cooked spaghetti (300); 5 Costco meatballs (230 for 5)

  • 530 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80)

  • 80 calories

Total for the day: 1510 calories (limit 1800)

Face the music, but then write the tune

I got on the scale this morning.  I weighed exactly what I did last week (258 pounds).  I was not surprised, since I had a couple of bad diet days.  Now, why was did I weigh the same, even though my calorie count wasn’t that high during the week?  My feeling is that by eating a lot more bulk, your body just weighs more (retains more water and has more food inside) until that bulk leaves your system.  I don’t know that it’s true, but it’s my theory.  It could also be that I was cheating my food journal.  Or some other reason.  But (almost) every dieter knows the feeling of feeling heavy and full after a bad diet day.  You just don’t have that feeling on 1800 calories per day.  

Anyway, I have faced the music – gotten on the scale and seen the truth.  I didn’t get anywhere last week, for whatever reason.  But I don’t give up.  I have had too much success doing this.  The new lifestyle is very attractive, but it looks like I can get distracted and go back to bad habits of the past (when I was gaining weight).  I talked about the possible distractions over the last few days, but I am focusing on sleep as the main culprit.  Lack of sleep is bad for dieting.  I am always hungry when tired, to start with, especially if I am trying to stay awake.  

Everything is ready for tomorrow.  It’s 9.40PM and I will be ready for bed in about 20 minutes.  Let’s see if a good night’s sleep and plenty of grilled bratwurst is the cure!  

I say “now write the tune” because I was feeling like I was at the mercy of the bad week, like I wasn’t in charge.  I have faced up to that.  Now I will write the music and play it out for this week.  I spent some time writing up a menu of the foods I will be enjoying, so that I have something to look forward to.   I’ve made sure I have plenty of the foods I want in the house, so there won’t be any food insecurity.  And I am going to make sure to go to bed on time, so I can focus on my new lifestyle of personal fulfillment and satisfaction.  It’s much nicer than the old lifestyle, really.  But if you are sleep deprived and not paying attention, you can lose sight of your new life.  

Remember that every mistake is a chance to learn and improve yourself.  Getting control of my body’s weight is all about improving myself and having a better life.  That is my aim.  What is yours?

-The Doctor

20190810 Daily report

Normally, this would be a Saturday weigh-in post.  But I couldn’t afford a Saturday weigh-in.  I am all freaked out by my terrible diet week.  Even though my total calorie count was not that bad, I was too chicken to get on the scale this morning and check.  

But getting weighed is an important component of controlling your weight.  I can’t escape for ever.  I may get on tomorrow, with one eye shut.  The other important component, of course, is paying attention to what you are eating.  Regulating your intake.  Watching what you eat.  It’s true, I wasn’t that good at doing that either this week.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – pork potstickers (250); pretzels and cheese (300)

  • 550 calories

Lunch – chicken and hummus wraps (300); cookies (300)

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – ice cream (300); Snickers ice cream bar (180)

  • 480 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); candy (90)

  • 170 calories

Total for the day: 1800 calories (limit 1800)

Reset, please!

My average calories for the week: 2200 per day, or 15,400 total.  That shouldn’t be that bad, considering that I have to eat about 3200 per day to gain weight, or 22,400 calories.  What I recorded is nearly 7000 calories less than the break even point and so I should weigh less, right?  But I have psyched myself out.  There have been too many times when I was ill and should have lost weight by the calorie count….and didn’t.  I am also worried that having had some bad diet days is weighing on my system (ha ha).  I want to let that work itself out.  Anyway, if I was braver about the scale I would weigh myself anyway.  It is always better to know.  Maybe I will face up to it tomorrow.

Anyway, I have gotten myself into a bad mental state.  I am staying up late every night, and letting my attention wander from my diet.  I can’t have that, not if I want to succeed.  My plan now is to make sure I am fully prepared to have a good week.  That means planning out meals and making sure I have lots of the foods I will need.  And I want it to be a rewarding week, so I will have to have things to look forward to.  That will get me back into a good mental frame of mind.  

As for going to bed on time, I’m not sure what’s up with that.  But it will have to change, so I can keep my effort on my primary goal.  Keep paying attention!  That’s the way forward; pay attention and have reards to look forward to.

-The Doctor

20190809 Daily report

Dieting is the wrong way to lose 120 pounds.  It is temporary, and someone like me who has a lot to lose, needs more than a few temporary tweaks to their lifestyle.  It needs a radical re-think.  Almost a new person has to be created, who cares a lot about their weight.  Once that person has awakened, once the mind has been changed, then the body is the lagging indicator.  A person who is serious about changing their lifestyle and their values can do it, and make it permanent.  

What is the allure of frozen potstickers?

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – chicken hummus wraps (350);
rice (160)

  • 510 calories

Lunch – half pizza (450)

  • 450 calories 

Dinner – pork potstickers (750)

  • 750 calories

Snacking – cookies (280); bread and butter (160)

  • 440 calories

Total for the day: 2150 calories (limit 1800)

A mystery to me

Frozen potstickers are never great.  These were just ok.  But what is the allure?  Why do I keep trying?  I should just find a recipe and make my own.  My brother makes a mean egg roll, how much harder can these be?  My rule is, if it needs soy sauce to taste good, you shouldn’t eat it.  I found myself slipping into the old pattern of thinking – “if they don’t taste great, keep eating and you will feel full and will get satisfaction that way.”  My old life keeps calling me!  I can’t let myself eat unsatisfying junk, it is too dangerous for me.  No more. 

Anyway, this week wasn’t my best.  I was healthy again, at least.  Well, even if this week wasn’t great, tomorrow is the start of a new week where I can do better.  It’s a great comfort to get unlimited second chances.  Having a bad week doesn’t destroy my morale, since I’m not forcing myself to do this.  I put a lot of work into creating a new life that I enjoy, which has been very positive.  

Some of the work is finding and making foods that I will look forward to eating and will find satisfying.  I’ve just found my own recipe for pork and cabbage potstickers….. what foods would make you happy?  Self knowledge is the key to controlling your weight.

-The Doctor

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