Today didn’t go according to plan. I woke up and wasn’t hungry. That’s unusual, especially given my calorie deficit yesterday. Then at lunchtime, I went out and ordered a cheese steak sub. That sounded good. But when it arrived it was all disappointing. That was bad for my motivation. In my new lifestyle, I sacrificed a future where I found fulfillment in being full; and traded it for a better future, where I get fulfillment from the quality of the experience. I want the food I am really craving, in other words. I didn’t get that. So it was very sad, a letdown. When I got home I had to make it up to myself using ice cream and chocolate.
My daily food intake and calorie count:
Breakfast – Bratwurst wrap (300)
- 300 calories
Lunch – Steak and cheese sandwich (500)
- 500 calories
Dinner – Beef stroganoff (400) and noodles (200).
- 600 calories
Snacking – tea with half and half (80); chocolate (160), Nestle Li’l Drum chocolate cone (120)
- 360 calories
Total for the day: 1760 calories (limit 1800)
So, you might ask, my solution to a disappointing meal is to binge? Isn’t that bad for the diet and the lifestyle?
As it happens, binge is a strong word. I had 160 calories of chocolate and 120 calories of ice cream cone. That kept me on target and true to my aim. And it took away my disappointment. Now, this probably isn’t the best solution. Those 500 calories of disappointing sandwich were eaten and I couldn’t get them back. Eating chocolate does add more calories to my total. A better answer might have been to not eat the cheesesteak sandwich I found disappointing, and then eat a better meal later on. But I wasn’t prepared, I was hungry, and didn’t bring a snack to tide me over. (The cheesesteak wasn’t bad, just not very good.) Maybe always having a snack with me is a good idea. Little packets of beef jerky would do, I like jerky and it keeps well at room temperature.
My old values included not wasting food. I have tried changing that in my new lifestyle by making that imperative less important, and also by changing the definition of waste. Now food can be a waste by not being worthwhile. It should be thrown away. I don’t want it in my body. Maybe that sounds bad – throwing away food because it isn’t fulfilling enough. But I have a serious problem I am trying to get out of – how do I get in control of my eating? It’s a case of waste or waist. And my new values say, waist comes first.
Anyway, it’s time to get ready for Easter! I have a lot of food fun planned for this weekend. This will be a great time for dieting and celebrating rebirth. And my birthday is coming soon, too.
-The Doctor