Every day, my job is to keep a record of my food intake. Well, that is part of the job. I also regulate my food intake to keep the total calories in bounds. When I am ill, however, it’s all I can do to keep the food intake record. I don’t have the same tastes when I am ill, and my determination to lose weight is rather sapped.
Apart from being ill, my stomach feels very strange right now, because I have eaten a lot of food today. I am stuffed and feel more full than I have in a long time – it’s been over six months, since I started controlling my food intake.
My food intake and calorie count
Miscellaneous carbohydrate rich foods, including bread, noodles, ice cream, hummus, peanut butter and jelly.
- 3550 calories
Total for the day: 3550 calories (limit 1800)
Being full
How I feel right now (stuffed, full) is how I must have felt all the time before I started my system of weight control, before I changed my mind about food and eating, and lived that out. In those days, I ate whatever I felt like all day, and I had a desire to eat until I felt full, every meal.
Now, the need to feel full is very much associated in my mind with being sick. I just need to be full, for whatever feeling of comfort it gives me. I always found being full very comforting. I think most people do. But now I am living in a strange duality, where I want to be full, but at the same time, I don’t want that anymore.
What this is, is another opportunity to learn about myself. Before I started my weight control system in January 2019, this is how I lived. (Except – then, I did not pay any attention to how much I ate and did not count calories or keep a food journal.) It’s easy to see how I overate and gained weight. Without even trying, today I ate enough to gain weight. According to the online calculators, I need to eat about 3000 calories a day to maintain my weight. I had 550 calories more than that today. A week of eating like this, and I would gain a pound per week.
Part of the difference now, is that I am paying a lot of attention to what I am eating and how much I am eating. Before, I didn’t pay any attention at all. Paying attention has really made me raise my standards. My tastes are more refined now and I know myself better.
I can hardly wait to feel better. I had to take naps today, I was that tired out. And I don’t like this feeling of being full anymore. Well, tomorrow is a new day to feel better and get back to my preferred life!
-The Doctor