Greetings, dear Reader! This blog is about my new lifestyle and my new ability to lose weight, and my overall goal to be in control my weight. In January of 2019, I was ready for some new thinking. Previously, I believed that I could become a thin person through willpower. I could force myself to eat less. I also believed that thin people just had more willpower than I did. Obviously that was true, because they were thin. Duh.
Keep in mind that the definition of success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. Winston Churchill said that. Don’t give up. There are non-willpower things you can change. But my success so far comes from the realization that thin people are thin because they work hard at it all the time. The thinner they are, the harder they work at it. It’s not willpower; at least, not in the way you think. It’s a different way of seeing the world and a different set of values and goals, compared to those of us gaining weight.
My food intake and calorie count
Breakfast – tea with half and half (80)
- 80 calories
Lunch – Big Greek Cafe Gyros sandwich (600);
- 600 calories
Dinner – Baked nacho topping (beef, cheese, beans, 390); 1oz tortilla chips (160); 2T sour cream (60);
- 610 calories
Snacking – ham (100); pretzels (100); cookies (400); ice cream (130)
- 730 calories
Total for the day: 2020 calories (limit 1800)
When things don't go well
The above calorie count is only part of the story. Yesterday didn’t go well, either. All day, I was feeling hungry and deprived. I ignored those feelings. And, after 10PM yesterday, I broke down and had some unplanned food, and then some more. The overage came to about 700 calories. That’s not good, if your goal is to control how many calories you are eating. And I was no longer in control.
Then, I made things worse. When I woke up today, I decided to keep ignoring the problem. I skipped breakfast, thinking the late night calories would get cancelled out. Wrong! I have experience with that not working out. I even call it “punishing” myself. I did it anyway. Then, due to circumstances, I didn’t have lunch today until 2PM. I let myself get way too hungry. Guess what I did today after 9PM today? Yes, I had more unplanned calories. That’s two days out of control.
Part of the system of weight control is total honesty in the food journal. You write down everything you eat, and how much, and when, and what was happening. You learn about yourself when things are going well and when things go wrong. For the last two days, things have not gone well. Thanks to my food journal and past experience, knowledge about myself, I have figured out what went wrong. Luckily, my weight control system is very attractive. It is self-reinforcing and you want to get back to it. So I will also talk about getting back where I want to be.
Part of this system is the knowledge that I can’t force myself to obey. I can tell myself to eat less, but nothing happens (not for long). So I engage my will in figuring out how to persuade myself to eat regulated and measured amounts of food. That way, I can control my food intake. Result: weight loss. The trade-off is that it takes a lot of time and effort and attention to keep myself happy eating measured amounts of food.
Anyway, there are two ways to go now. I can keep ignoring the problem and make things worse. Or, I can fix it and move on. This is not the first time I have had this choice. So far this year, I have always chosen to fix it, and to find some gratitude for the lessons I learn about myself.
Looking back at my food journal, do you know what started the problem? It was Tuesday morning. I had my breakfast a little too late – I didn’t make taking care of my appetite a priority. Then, instead of moving lunch up to an earlier time, I ended up lunching late. Again, I didn’t prioritize weight control. To get my own cooperation, I found I have to take care of myself, or there will be consequences from the rest of me. So by dinnertime part of me was feeling deprived and unloved. Then, I waited to have dinner until 5.30, instead of moving it earlier, even though I was hungry and deprived and getting resentful and angry. My ego can be so stubborn. Like I said above, I even made things worse by trying to force myself to go without breakfast today.
This attitude is destructive to my weight loss program. The only way to get back to productive weight control is to accept a loss when it happens. Wednesday was a loss. Tuesday was a loss. How to prevent Thursday from adding to the pile? Why, accept the loss. Thursday is a new day and I can get the new day right. It doesn’t have to make up for the mistakes of previous days. Tomorrow is a new day to approach, like Mr. Churchill says, with enthusiasm. Hope. I can take care of myself better tomorrow. I find the rest of me is very forgiving. I am grateful for that.
Be grateful to learn about yourself. You can use that.
-The Doctor