Saturday! The day of truth….weight control truth. All week I have been keeping track of my calorie count, eating just the right amount of food at just the right time, to keep the various pieces of my brain, body, and soul aligned on the goal of weight control. That’s what the food journal is for, though honestly the food journal has become handy for so many things I plan to keep it always.
Truth is the number on the scale. How did all the careful measuring of food and calories affect your body? It’s very important to check reality, the truth, every so often. I do it every week. I know there are a lot of thin people who weigh themselves every day. Every week is working so far…..
I am amazed to report that since I started this diet in January 2019, I have lost………….
Under 240 pounds and still going
The weight control lifestyle I am living…the one I share with you in story and pictures, is very attractive for me. I built it that way, and have used what I learned along the way to make it better and more effective. It’s amazing how it operates outside my usual definition of willpower. There is discipline, and a lot of work, but I don’t feel I am ordering, dictating to, or forcing myself to be hungry or feel deprived.
In the last few weeks, several neighbors, and not just the nosey ones, have mentioned they have noticed my weight loss. In a way, hey, thanks for noticing after 85+ pounds have been lost! But it’s nice of them to notice, and say something. Interestingly, in general, it has been the thinner people who noticed first. I think they are paying more attention (or maybe they are just more talkative). As of now, of the ~10 people who have said something, three have asked for details. Two of those were thin people, and one was a bit overweight. That surprised me. I thought the more overweight people would be more interested in the details. Anyway, each person who asked suggested their own theory! Clearly, there are many paths to weight control.
In general, I only have a couple of minutes to talk with these people before we go in different directions.
- Person #1 was a short lady, a bit overweight (say 40 pounds). She was sure that I was losing weight by skipping meals. That told me how she was trying to lose weight (willpower, force and deprivation!). I told her about counting calories and keeping a journal. I don’t think she was ready to hear about that. She told me she eats mostly Guatemalan food homemade by her mother or other relatives. She wouldn’t have much awareness of the calorie count, under those circumstances .
- Person #2 was a lady of medium height from my office. Her body’s frame is large, but she is reasonably thin within that type. She suggested I had lost weight by starting to eat healthy. People mean different things by that and I didn’t get a chance to ask what she meant. In a way, paying attention to my body’s needs and counting calories is eating healthily. But that also told me about how she kept thin! Actually I think she might have lost about 10 pounds in the last couple of years. It sounds like her goal is health, and she is monitoring her eating with that goal in mind.
- Person #3 is my neighbor, a very thin and wiry man of medium height. He had a multiple-part theory. He asked if I was exercising, eating right, or watching my health. I assume he does all three – he is quite thin. I playfully told him I am bribing myself to eat less, using foods I like as the bait. That wasn’t what he was expecting, but as we passed his door he again complimented me several times. Very kind.
There is only one conclusion: I should work on an elevator speech. That’s a technique where you try to convince someone about something in under a minute. I’ve been writing my thoughts about weight loss here in long form and developing the ideas, but using a lot of time and space to do it. Something short and convincing, a story that can be told in a minute. I will think about it.
It’s true: people will tell you amazing things if you know how to listen.
-The Doctor
Listening with intention is a practiced skill that anyone can learn. By “with intention” I mean that the listener pays careful attention to the words, body language and facial expressions of the talker without interrupting the flow of talk. My mother always mentally searched her experiences for empathy with the person who was talking. Some of your neighbors were trying to do that, it sounds like to me.
I agree with Judith Phillips and would add – overweight people (1) do not constantly think of themselves as overweight, and (2) seldom if ever want to call attention to being overweight in a vulnerable manner. Sure, they have an elevator pitch if somebody starts poking – but to open themselves to a person with intent is not usual. Also, everyone, including the author of the blog and the avid readers of the blog, have their absolute true way to deal with weight. Like bribing yourself, depriving yourself, or just trying to be balanced.
I agree with both of you. Thin people work at it, and they notice when someone else is working at it too. Maybe they want to share the struggle, maybe they are nice people who want to encourage you. But you can see that it is important to them and takes a high position in their lives. The overweight among us aren’t thinking about it much and I think it matters less to them. But there is something to what you say – overweight people might feel self conscious or vulnerable talking about it. The one woman I talked to was trying to lose weight and that’s why she decided to talk to me.