When I started thinking about losing weight in late 2018, I knew one thing very quickly. Whatever I was going to do, it had to be long term. Not only did I have a lot of weight to lose, which would take a long time. But also, having lost any significant amount of weight, I didn’t want to gain it back afterwards. That’s why I threw out the word “diet” immediately. In long-term thinking, dieting is a temporary condition where you eat things you don’t want, and never enough to feel satisfied. You are going against your own desires and your own goals for eating and happiness, as far as those go together.
Weight control was the way I came up with. Mrs. Doctor of Things says Weight Management would be less intimidating for people than weight control. But I think that it is too bland, and also feels like you are giving up. You manage things you can’t change, after all. Control sounds more like you should be in charge, which I think you have to be.
My food intake and calorie count
Breakfast – Spanish tortilla (333); 1/2 flatbread wrap (55); mayo (30)
- 415 calories
Lunch – 7 ounces rice (220); 8oz chicken curry (240);
- 460 calories
Dinner – 2x pancakes (65); sandwich bread (130); 2oz ham (90) 1.5 slices swiss cheese (75); pickles mustard and horseradish (20);
- 450 calories
Snacking – tea with half and half (80); 5x Kirkland tea cookies (210)
- 290 calories
Total for the day: 1615 calories (limit 1800)
Thinking for the long term
That is how I came up with weight control as a system. It is accurate and puts the responsibility right on you, where it belongs. Dieting, though, is a problem for the long term. Are you going to live on your diet forever?
Every successful diet is about restricting the amount of food you eat. Low carbohydrate diets, for example. In that system, you are actually giving up a lot of calories and you will lose weight that way. Think about it – no chips, no fries, no rice, pasta, pizza, bagels, toast, cereal, cake, cookies, or sugar. No pancakes. Eat all the peanut butter you want, but you have to eat it with a spoon (or a celery stick). Eat all the hamburger you want, but no bun. All the cheese you like, without crackers. And so on.
There are two ways you are cutting calories in the low carb system. The first is, you are giving up a lot of foods, which have calories. The second way is balance, or the lack of it. You get tired of eating peanut butter by the spoonful. There are only so many chicken breasts you can eat without potatoes. You can never have a sandwich, unless you try diet bread, which is not as nice. Plain meatballs without pasta or bread are tiring.
It’s the same for other diets. Paleo – you are giving up a lot of oils as well as processed carbohydrates. Keto – basically low carb. Bariatric surgery – you are putting a physical limit on your stomach to make yourself feel full faster, so you (in theory) eat fewer calories. But bariatric surgery comes with a lot of restrictions you have to live with forever. And so forth.
There have been some attempts to get around this problem (Diet vs. lifestyle). Think of The Mediterranean Diet, for example. But in general, dieting is for losing weight, not for living. I don’t think many people would be interested in keto, low carb, or atkins….forever. Weight control, on the other hand, means you can eat anything you want as long as it fits into the calorie goal. You have to pay attention and plan ahead. It has a price in time and energy you will spend. But it is very nice and you can live this way forever – I have been doing it for 10 months now and I have no desire to stop. This is just how I will live now.
Tying this to yesterday’s thoughts, a long term diet is possible if it is so attractive and worthwhile that it doesn’t require constant force and isn’t a constant drain on your will power. There is some discipline involved in recording all the foods and calories in a food journal, but the return on the effort is very worthwhile. Will is involved, but the aim is high – a better and more satisfying life, that gives me a tremendous sense of meaning. The meaning and purpose in this lifestyle come from the feeling that all the parts of my being – body, mind and soul – are coming together for this. I have successfully negotiated with myself and gotten the cooperation of all my competing parts and their different wants and needs. And I lose weight, too.
Who needs to force themself to do that?
-The Doctor
How about calling it a Negotiation Plan? After all, you negotiate with yourself as I see it. “If I eat this much of a food I really like for breakfast, I can have X that I also love for lunch AND I’ll be hungry for Y, one of my favorites, for dinner. I don’t have to deny myself any food pleasure today or tomorrow or…”
No matter what you call it, it’s still a way of practicing self control. Isn’t self-control what everyone has to do to be successful in anything that one attempts?