Saturdays, I do a weekly weighing. It keeps the whole calorie-recording and food-journaling businesses honest. I might think that I am doing well and keeping within my calorie limits, but am I really? Weighing is the reality test. So far, I have been pleased to find that my food journal is predictive of the direction my body is going. It has even been useful as a predictor – if my weight unexpectedly goes up, I know I am getting ill.
This week, I am trying to re-establish my central goal as a person who is in control of his body’s weight. It’s been hard to keep that going for the last few months.
I weighed 245 pounds on Saturday. It’s more than the 237 I recorded as my lowest ever, but not hopeless.
Abbreviated post today
If your vision of yourself and what you are trying to achieve is strong, you can tolerate a little uncertainty, a little trouble, a little stress, and keep on achieving progress. But you can be pushed off balance and lose sight of your goal. How then do you find your way again? How did you do it the first time? Can you remember?
I am finding that relatively minor levels of personal or emotional turmoil are enough to derail me right now. I had a good diet week, but then on Saturday (after weighing) I had a bad day for weight loss. It takes several days after a bad day to feel yourself again. It is the price you pay for losing your way. I am willing to pay – I have had a lot of bad diet days over the last year, and always recovered – but it feels extra discouraging. Maybe I am being too hard on myself. This is a long term (life long) project, after all. But it would be nice to have two good diet weeks in a row.
Well, I am willing to work towards making things right. I have prepared for the week: lunch and breakfast foods are cooked, portioned, and ready. Dinners are premade and ready to go. I shouldn’t have any anxiety about food availability this week! All the clocks are set ahead for daylight savings. Preparation makes it easier to perform during the week. Now I will go to bed and read a bit more and think about the person I want to be. And how I can make that happen.
Good night!
-The Doctor