It is important to have things to look forward to, but that has to be done right. When I was uncontrolled in my food intake and gaining weight, I looked forward to meals. Since I had learned to associate feeling full with comfort, completion, fulfillment, I could look forward to all those things at nearly every meal. But that wasn’t good fulfillment. I figured out later that those emotional goals associated with food are kind of shallow. I call them ‘cheap thrills’ now.
A worthier reason for eating is also a simpler one: because you physically need the food. It is a worthier reason because it allows for higher goals. You can fulfill your senses, like with a favorite food, instead of gratifying your emotions. You can anticipate, not your emotional fulfillment (which should really come from accomplishments and pride in your work well done) but physical fulfillment, which comes no matter how you feel about things.
That is, enjoy the food, rather than how eating a lot of it makes you feel.
My food intake and calorie count
Breakfast – pancakes (150)
- 150 calories
Lunch – Big Greek Cafe Famous $5 Gyro Wednesdays (600);
- 600 calories
Dinner – 5oz cooked white rice (160); 12 ounces curry (330);
- 490 calories
Snacking – pretzels (250); cheese (80); snickers ice cream bar (180);
- 510 calories
Total for the day: 1750 calories (limit 1850)
Erratum and datum
On Saturday I said I reached a new low weight of 235.2 pounds, but I was wrong. The previous Saturday’s weight was also 235.2 pounds – look at the picture. So I didn’t lose any weight that week, possibly. I mean, it doesn’t count much since I was a bit ill and had a lot of water weight changes at that time, but I did claim it was a new low. It wasn’t. Will I be all better Saturday, in terms of water weight? We shall see. My calorie counts have been great and under control for this week and last week. But we shall see. That’s what Saturdays are for.
Like I have said many times, since starting the weight control lifestyle, feeling full has gotten to be uncomfortable for me. That is completely opposed to my old incentive, when I was gaining weight. Feeling full was the goal! That is no longer the goal. I am seeing the world in a new way, like I imagine a thin person does. It is working out, and I tell myself that my body is a lagging indicator. That means my weight is slowly catching up.
I have also been thinking about dieting and what a waste of time it is. I have lost a lot of weight without going on a diet. I can’t make those work, it’s the feeling of deprivation and my reasons for eating that were the problems. I imagine there are lots of people who feel this way. Maybe you would reply that I am on a diet – defined as losing weight by eating less food. But I define a diet differently: an attempt to force yourself to eat less food, while staying exactly the same person on the inside, who gained that extra weight in the first place. You see, you will gain the weight back again once you stop forcing yourself. A diet is contrary to your being. Weight control is an attempt to redefine your being. Your body catches up to your mind.
Change your mind, change your body! Never the other way around.
-The Doctor