On one of the missing days (when I didn’t blog), I estimate I ate 4000 calories.  That was the worst of it.  Don’t ask how or why.  It was a holiday from reason.  Now that Mr. Reason has come knocking, there is plenty of cleanup and fixing to do.  A couple of days of excess eating have thrown my body for a loop and it will take days to feel normal again.  I feel non-hungry most of the time, and oddly full or bloated in the intestinal/stomach area.  I tried having tea today, twice, thinking that would help.  It didn’t.  I think it will just take time.  

That means for a few days of bad eating, I will have to pay a price lasting a couple of weeks.  It will take a week to feel normal again and another week before I could expect to weigh as little as before (117 pounds).  I accept the price.  I have no choice!  But I accept it with good will.  Was the holiday worth the price?  Oh no, it wasn’t.  It was emotional eating of the worst kind, totally unsatisfying in any food/hunger kind of way.  There’s part of me that takes the easy way out with emotional hunger.  Taking the easy way out!  That’s how I gained a lot of weight over the last 20 years.

Nobody said weight control was easy.  It takes work and discipline and sacrifice.  It doesn’t take much willpower.  Tonight is as good example.  I was offered a store-bought cookie and after one bite put it down.  It was terrible and why would I waste calories on it?  I had just made some peanut blossom cookies and had those instead.  Fantastic!   And it took little willpower to put down a cookie I didn’t like and replace it with one I do like.  There was some work involved – I had to make the cookies!  I would have enjoyed them even more if my body was feeling normal.  I will let you know how that goes.  

-The Doctor