It’s Day 3 of the post-insanity binge weekend recovery. Try to say that three times fast! I am recovering from a bad diet weekend where I let go and ate for emotional rather than physical reasons. Basically, things are still not back to normal. It will take another week for that, based on past experience with my body. It’s a price I am willing to pay.
How can I say, though, that the weight control lifestyle is so compelling and worthwhile if having a binge is still possible? That is a tough one.
My food intake and calorie count
Breakfast – smoked pork loin (200); 2x Cellone’s Italian bread (80); butter (40); M&Ms (120);
- 520 calories
Lunch – chicken (200); wrap (75); hummus (75); Hershey’s kisses (160);
- 510 calories
Dinner – soup (200); salad (50); meat (50); cake (300);
- 600 calories
Snacking – tea with half and half (80);
- 80 calories
Total for the day: 1710 calories (limit 1700)
Winning No Prizes This Week
I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I could win a prize – worst diet week ever! My body is still not back to normal (and I don’t expect that until the weekend) and I am feeling undisciplined. This is all emotional, I am having some roller coaster weeks here. It’s amazing how that affects your life, if you let it. I may have to build up some resistance to emotional turmoil.
So why does a binge become attractive if the weight loss lifestyle is so compelling and interesting and attractive? At one level, it’s because other things are also attractive. I am not used to emotional turmoil. I have recently been ill. And my Mommy didn’t love me. See? You can really pile up the excuses! But it’s true that you don’t stop liking chocolate because you are controlling your weight. You just accept that you will enjoy the chocolate more if you restrict the intake and take the time to enjoy it. The thought of just eating the whole bag of chocolates still has an attraction to the undisciplined part of you. That’s why it is so important to create a new you who is more likely to resist that.
The new you thinks about food a different way, if you insist on creating him that way. The old you is still there. The part of you that wants all the chocolate is still there. Who’s in charge? You have to work that out and find out how to keep your desired self on top. But the other parts are there and willing to take back over. It can and will happen. That’s why recovery is important and why you must have a compelling self and lifestyle to come back to…
But there is still a price to pay. I will pay it.
-The Doctor