Today I had a challenge. It was a rough day and it’s been a hard week so far with lots of ups and downs. Yesterday I started feeling the disconnect. I wanted to eat even though I wasn’t physically hungry. I’ve paid enough attention to myself over the last year and a half to notice the difference. I was also tired today.
Even though I had enough food (by the calorie count) the food didn’t satisfy me. I wanted more! But I know by now: if food doesn’t satisfy you, MORE food won’t satisfy you either. That way madness lies.
My food intake and calorie count
Breakfast – chili and bread (250)
- 250 calories
Lunch – bread (60); cheese (100); chocolate (170); Snickers ice cream bar (180);
- 510 calories
Dinner – 9oz nachos (390); 1oz chips (140); sour cream (60); olives (10);
- 600 calories
Snacking – tea with half and half (80); banana and grapes (60)
- 140 calories
Total for the day: 1500 calories (limit 1700)
Nachos!
In case you are wondering, it’s a baked nacho topping made with beans, meat, cheese, salsa, green chilies, and spices. After it’s all baked and melded together, you can eat it with tortilla chips, salsa, sour cream and black olives, my favorite toppings for nachos.
It’s a favorite and should be hugely satisfying. But it almost wasn’t because my head was in the wrong place. Part of me was processing my emotional state and tiredness and coming up with the answer that I needed respite, comfort, satisfaction. That part wanted me to eat, and eat, until I was full. It’s a pattern that has not worked for me – during the time when I thought that way, I gained weight uncontrollably and wasn’t considering my responsibility for my body’s weight. So I know it’s a danger and it was weird to watch it start again. I always say that the danger, after you put for the effort to lose weight, is going back to your old mind and old life afterwards.
The old you let you gain all the weight! It can’t be allowed to come back. The new person you have invented for yourself lost a lot of weight and puts you back in charge. The choice should be easy.
Anyway, I made it through today. Tonight I’ll go to bed early. Tomorrow is a new day. Be careful of your thinking.
-The Doctor