Well, I’ve done it again. Last weekend I overate Friday and Saturday and just had a rough week paying for that. It took about a week to recover and yesterday my weight was the same as it was two weeks previously. That is, I haven’t lost any weight in two weeks.
Last night (Saturday) I did it again! I had 1200 calories after dinner and stayed up really late, and had trouble falling asleep and trouble waking up. This is not ideal for someone who is trying to be in control of his life and his body. Why I allowed this, is a question for later. For now, I am only concerned with what happens the day after a bad diet day.
My food intake and calorie count
Breakfast – skipped, not hungry (00)
- 0 calories
Lunch – tea (80);
- 80 calories
Dinner – beef and cheese enchiladas (550); sour cream (50)
- 600 calories
Snacking – cookies (300); chocolate (200)
- 500 calories
Total for the day: 1180 calories (limit 1700) + 1200 calories eaten yesterday late at night, total 2380.
Careful now
Having overeaten yesterday, there is a danger. You feel like you should eat less the next day to make up for it. That also comes with a feeling that you need to resist eating anything until the extra calories are accounted for. But I have learned better over the last two years. You need to eat some token amount at every meal, and make sure you don’t start feeling hungry or deprived. Yesterday is gone – don’t try to cheat the bill. You must pay it.
Payment comes over time. This week just won’t be as productive in terms of weight loss, but it can still be fulfilling and you can control the days that are left. Next week can be a better week. This week is payment. And it’s not as bad as the previous weekend. Maybe next weekend will be better.
On the bad side, this all means my head is still not in the right place. Most of weight control is getting your values right – seeing the world correctly, deciding what you are going to do and making it happen. Living out the consequences of what you have decided to believe and do. Yesterday, I decided that food would be comforting, friendly, a quick and easy way to feel good. No, eating a lot of food late at night doesn’t make me feel good. Maybe I just needed some reminding. I don’t feel guilty as such, though I am annoyed that I have wasted a few weeks. And I am annoyed with myself for making this harder than it has to be. However, I am all in this together, haha. The part of me that wanted food and comfort, and the second the part that wants me to control my weight, they are both still in me after all. I don’t agree with the values of the food-as-comfort part of me. I will have to change that. The quick and easy way is too quick and easy and the second part of me is stuck paying the price. That’s no good.
The only legitimate reason I should be eating food is because I am physically hungry. All other reasons are false. That’s what I am trying to believe. That is the way to weight control. I should be in charge of my body and I should make it look the way I want.
Tomorrow is a new day and next week a new week. Tomorrow is coming!
-The Doctor