To my surprise, though I started the week off badly, I managed to have a reasonably good week controlling my weight. That’s the goal: being in control of my body’s weight. I could pick a weight number as my goal, but weight control is better. Then I can pick any weight I want and go in that direction. Being in control takes a lot of attention, and some hard work and some time. But it has its rewards. I am wearing and buying size 40 pants these days. It was only in 2019 January I was wearing size 52. OK, the size 40s are not exactly relaxed-fit, but neither are they ridiculous. I can wear them around.
I know what I weigh, because I weigh myself every week. I can go to the store and be pleasantly surprised with what I am fitting into, instead of a bit shocked and dismayed.
And no backsliding. Having established control over my weight, I don’t want to be gaining it all back again. I control my weight by becoming a new person who values weight control, and make sure my old lifestyle is unrewarding.
This is a new low weight for me, and I am getting closer and closer to having a normal-sized body. Since I started controlling my weight in January 2019, I have lost:
Closer and closer
My original goal was to reach a target of 205 pounds. This was arbitrary, and I never expected to reach it. I have started dieting before and never made it anywhere. But this time was different. I left behind my old thinking and my old way of life, and started living according to a new set of values. But I am making great progress this time! Soon I will have lost 111 pounds from my starting weight of 325. That’s only nine pounds away from the target: 205.
I don’t believe I will stop for long at 205 pounds. I want to see what 185-190 looks like. But still, reaching that target of 205 pounds will be a big accomplishment. It’s one that people who stay thin, perform all the time, but it is new to me. I have learned that people who stay thin have to work at it, and the thinner they are, the harder they must work. I appreciate that. I have learned a lot from thin people.
Of course there is more to do. I would also like to exercise more, but my preferred exercise is swimming and that is difficult right now, all the Coronavirus lockdowns have made a lot of the pools hard to use. But some light exercise like walking will make a difference, as I get closer and closer to my targets.
What will I do when I want to stay at a weight? When I want to stop losing or gaining? That will take some figuring out and it will be odd to eat more calories than I have been for the last two years. Weight control demanded I eat less and then it will demand I eat more. But I have learned it takes constant attention. You can’t park at a weight and stay there without any effort. (Well, actually you can, but it takes some pretty strong routinizing – I mean, eating the exact same meals and portions every day.)
Breakfast time. I am hungry and I will enjoy it. Have a good week,
-The Doctor