Since January 2019, I have been living what I call the weight control lifestyle. It has been great, largely. I have set up my life in such a way that losing weight is achievable, regular, predictable, even easy to do. I have lost 110 pounds. This was done in a way that didn’t require a lot of willpower. It was self-sustaining in many ways.
Recently, for the last month or two, I’ve had a lot of stress in my life and that has impacted my ability to stay on the weight control lifestyle. Some part of me has decided that comfort is needed, to alleviate the stress. Eating food has become a way to comfort and destress myself, so you see the problem. Mentally I am in a place where not eating is the same as denying myself comfort and relief from stress.
Worse, now that the stress is dissipating, I find it difficult to make the mental change back to the weight control lifestyle. It’s not without precedent, though.
My food intake and calorie count
Breakfast – vegetable curry (100);
- 100 calories
Lunch – Pane Torano Italian bread (210); 86g Kentucky Legend ham (140); Swiss cheese (70); salami (100); olive salad (50);
- 570 calories
Dinner – pizza (700)
- 700 calories
Snacking – tea with half and half (160); pretzels (110)
- 270 calories
Total for the day: 1640 calories (limit 1700)
Headright headspace
Around this time last year I also had an increase in stress and I wasn’t able to continue the diet for about six months, from December 2019 through May 2020. Then, I was suddenly able to achieve again. I lost 30 pounds in the second half of this year. Exactly why and how I recovered, I don’t know and haven’t figured out.
My major stressors have resolved, but I am still feeling residual stress. I am clenching my jaw a lot and don’t know why. It’s still not easy to make myself concentrate. My head is not in the right place regarding eating and my diet. Any my bedtime and wake-up times are out of whack. But things are getting better. The last time, it took six months before I got tired of the lack of progress and started controlling my weight again.
This time, using an effort of will, I can put weight control at the top of my moral hierarchy and start thinking right. It may not take 6 months this time. Though really, I will be pretty happy if I can get my weight control lifestyle back on track by the end of the year. I’ll keep writing about my progress, but I am optimistic right now.
-The Doctor