Daily report

20201103 Daily report: plug away

It’s day 2 of the great re-normalizing.  After two weeks of having trouble keeping myself in the weight control zone, it feels good (so far) to be taking control again.  I have been keeping my food journal, managing hunger, and trying to find productive and responsible ways to deal with stress.  

Little springs and San Marizano sauce

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 1/12 Spanish tortilla (166); mayo (30); wrap (70); beef and broccoli (140);

  • 370 calories

Lunch – chicken and hummus wraps with tapenade (250); snacks (100);

  • 350 calories 

Dinner – 4oz noodles (200); 8 meatballs (375); brussels sprouts (25);

  • 600 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); chocolate (100); crackers (150)

  • 330 calories

Total for the day: 1650 calories (limit 1700).  Fitbit says 3750 calories burned and 18,000 steps today.  

It's too late?

I won’t say much tonight, I have a lot of work to do.  But I have been amazed how simple it was to pull myself together and have a couple of good days, following a couple of bad weeks.  It was almost a relief.  It suggests that getting my mind right was the key ingredient here.  

What I asked myself: was eating al the extra food really comforting?  Did it actually make anything about my life better? 

Does being in control of my weight make life better?  

Overeating for a few weeks was a bit depressing, but not terrible.  That’s because I know I can lose the weight again, as long as I have my head right.  

Goodnight, keep your head right!

-The Doctor

20201102 Daily report: the rebeginning, again

I have been unable to continue my weight control lifestyle for nearly two weeks.  So I haven’t been posting, either.  I am blaming stresses in my personal life for this lapse.  For whatever reasons, I have a habit of medicating those kinds of stresses with food.  It’s pretty amazing watching it happen from inside your own head.  I’m not as much in control as I like to think!

That also means I haven’t been weighing myself for the last two weeks.  It’s just too frustrating, when you know you have been overeating and letting yourself down.  I will probably have to pay for all this, with another two weeks of  successful weight control, before I come back to normal.  You can see why people gain weight over the winter holidays!  

Spanish tortilla works for winter or summer

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – tea (80)

  • 80 calories

Lunch – white rice (100); beef and broccoli (150); chicken (100); hummus (70); wheat wrap (50); olive spread (30);

  • 500 calories 

Dinner – 1/4 Spanish Tortilla (500); mayo (100); vegetables (25);

  • 625 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); crackers (170)

  • 250 calories

Total for the day: 1455 calories (limit 1700).  Walked today, Fitbit predicts 3660 calories burned and recorded over 20,000 steps!

Sleep score

Last night was daylight savings time.  I was careful to take it seriously and went to bed a little early.  Maybe because of that, my sleep score was 84.  That’s better than usual, my sleep score is usually in the 70s.  I did feel well rested.

Anyway, as I was saying.  I just had two out-of-control weeks and now I have to pay for them.  Did I enjoy the two week indulge-fest?  Well, not as much as you might think.  There was a lot of candy involved (thanks Costco!).  But there was a thought in the back of my mind that I would have to pay for all the overeating.  I don’t dare get on the scale even today.  I’m not looking forward to Saturday!  And my pants started to feel tight.  I’ve noticed before that you get important feedback from your clothes.  Amazingly, when your clothes are close fitting, even eating one big meal provides instant feedback.  

Anyway, I am ready to start being responsible for my body again.  That means paying the price: two good weeks to make up for two bad weeks.  Is that a waste of four weeks?  Hard question.  I’m just glad the way forward is clear.  I’m glad I have a system that works and that I want to come back to.  

Step one: I don’t like the way things are going and I can  change that.  What is my reason for eating?

Answering honestly is steps 2 through 99.

-The Doctor

20201020 Daily report: how it’s done

The daily report is where I talk about my daily experiences trying to live the weight control lifestyle.  Every day is its own new day: yesterday’s mistakes don’t carry over or become today’s problem.  I can’t eat less today so that I can eat more tomorrow.  Each day stands alone.

Which can make things tricky.  Yesterday I had a bad diet day and overate after dinner.  I used to do that every day, but it is unusual now.  In the days when my body’s weight wasn’t that important to me, I wouldn’t have even noticed that I did it.  Now I count my calories and stick to regular meals.  That’s all in service of my desire to be in control of my body’s weight.

Spanish tortilla with red peppers and peas.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – tea (80)

  • 80 calories

Lunch – tea (80);

  • 80 calories 

Dinner – Spanish tortilla (500); 1T mayonnaise (100)

  • 600 calories

Snacking – not today

  • 0 calories

Total for the day: 760 calories (limit 1700)

Recovery

I don’t punish myself for overeating: what’s done is done, and also I want recovery to be easy.  Today I was willing to eat my daily target of 1700 calories, even though I had about 1200 calories last night after dinner.  It’s a new day, so the calorie clock resets.  

However, as you can imagine I wasn’t very hungry for most of the day.  I had a relatively big dinner today (600 calories) because I started to feel hungry again.  I wasn’t sure I would!  But it feels restrictive if you tell yourself “No, you can’t eat today because you ate so much yesterday.”  I gave myself permission to eat what I needed today, and paid a lot of attention to my physical need, today.  

It’s amazing that I can still switch between eating only when I am physically hungry – my new weight control method – and eating for non physical (emotional) reasons. Today I paid strict attention to whether I was physically hungry.  Yesterday, I didn’t do that.  My eating yesterday had nothing to do with physical hunger, and I can admit that.  Stress and emotion affect us in strange ways and I took the easy way out last night.  

I have allowed bad diet days before.  The nice thing about resetting each day is that each day is another chance to do it right.  Next week is a chance to do things right and have a perfect week.  This week may be shot, though.  

-The Doctor

20201019 Daily report with attention

Your old thinking is what got you into this mess, isn’t it?  The life you are living and the way you are thinking are the reason your body is heavier than you would really like it to be.  In my case, eventually, 120 pounds heavier than I really wanted it to be.  But I never did much about it.  I got a bit fatalistic about it.  Clearly, it was not a priority for me at that time.  

Eventually I realized that my thinking had to change.  I could pick what I valued in life and accomplish what I wanted.  But in that process I would have to sacrifice my old self, my old life.  And what values would I pick?  What could I value that would transform me into a man who controlled his body’s weight?

A sprig of parsely would have been a good idea.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 11oz nacho topping (500); Ole wraps (100); sour cream (50);

  • 650 calories

Lunch – apple pie (350); sausage wrap (230);

  • 580 calories 

Dinner – 9oz Hoppin John (230); 5oz rice (160); Brussels sprouts (25);

  • 415 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); 

  • 80 calories

Total for the day: 1725 calories (limit 1700)

What to value, what to discard

From my past dieting failures I knew I shouldn’t value a goal weight.  That’s just a personal discovery, there are people who do value being a certain numerical weight (I still weigh the same as I weighed in high school!) and that works for them.  I needed something that would take advantage of my particular self: my habits, my inclinations, my motivations.  

I decided I had been taking the easy way out in my life.  Eating had become the answer to  everything that wasn’t going the way I wanted.  It was time to make things happen.  I decided to value control over my body’s weight.  That’s a bit different than valuing some particular number.  If I have control, I could gain or lose, whichever I wanted.  That control could be exerted in other parts of my life, too.  But for now, I would make weight control a top value and live that out every day.  Once I valued weight control, I found myself able to develop and live out the behaviors and tools I needed to make that happen.

When I was living my old life, eating less food was hard because I learned to associate eating with comfort and soothing feelings.  Eating less was like a punishment!  So my attempts to diet failed: it was straight use of willpower to deny myself love and comfort.  Who would want that?  

Change your thinking.  Identify what you are thinking thta has gotten you into trouble.  In my case, it was the reason for eating that had become incorrect and needed to be changed.  Why are you eating?

-The Doctor

20201018 Daily report: stepping out

I have made it my job to control my body’s weight every day, one day at a time.  That’s recent.  Two years ago that wasn’t on my list of priorities.  By deciding to value taking responsibility for my body’s weight so highly, I effectively became a new person with a new way of living.  I have been living those choices out ever since.

The old me is still there.  If I stop paying attention to my body’s weight, I will fall back in to my old habits.  That means I could easily gain the weight back.  I have been working hard to make sure my new way of life and new way of seeing the world, are just superior and worth fighting for.

Autumn dinner: chili, cornbread, salad

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – pancakes (300); Splenda syrup (25); butter (50);

  • 375 calories

Lunch – 10oz nacho topping (450); Ole wraps (100); sour cream (25);

  • 575 calories 

Dinner – 8oz chili (350); cornbread (100); sour cream (50); chips (140); salad (25);

  • 665 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80);

  • 80 calories

Total for the day: 1695 calories (limit 1700)

Yard work

I’m not the first to notice this, but yard work burns a lot of calories.  According to my Fit Bit, I spent 2 hours blowing and raking leaves, and walked just as much as a typical 3-mile walk and burned even more calories.  Not bad for slowly walking around with a leaf-blower backpack on my back.  The raking itself was probably more strenuous, but even so I was amazed how much energy goes into just blowing leaves. 

And the great (?) thing about yardwork is that it doesn’t end.  I will be blowing and raking more leaves next weekend.  Then comes the point where the leaves have all fallen.  Then it’s time to spend hours picking leaves out of all the shrubbery.  I wonder how many calories that burns?  Probably not a lot.

Tonight I have to head to bed early.  Monday is going to be a busy day in what will be a busy week for me.  I am hoping to keep my vision where it needs to be: food is for satisfying physical hunger and no thing more.  I haven’t been totally successful with that in times of busyness or stress.    I may have to do some more thinking.

Good night,

-The Doctor

20201016 Daily report: walka walka

I walked 20,000 steps today, according to my Fitbit pedometer.  That’s a bit unusually high.  Normally I do 15,000 or so.  But every little bit helps.  When you are asserting your control over your body, you take advantage of any natural help you can get, and I like to walk and pace a lot.  That helps in losing weight: more activity, more calories burned, the more weight I will lose.  

Homemade pizza: still the best

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – Italian bread (120); salami (160); relish and horseradish sauce (20); 

  • 300 calories

Lunch – 10oz nachos (450); Ole wraps (100); sour cream (30);

  • 580 calories 

Dinner – pizza (600); Brussels sprouts (25)

  • 625 calories

Snacking – 100g ice cream (200)

  • 200 calories

Total for the day: 1705 calories (limit 1700).  Fitbit says I burned 4218 calories today.

Burn baby burn

It will be very interesting to watch what happens to my body between now and my target weights.  My initial target was 205 pounds and oh my goodness, I am less than 10 pounds away from that.  That’s  just a month’s work for the Doctor of Things.

I want to see what 190 pounds looks like, so I will probably set that new target for myself just to see what happens.  What will my waist size be at 190 pounds?  I have no idea, because I have been overweight so long.  Will I start getting cold more easily in the winter?  Will it feel different moving around?  It has started to feel easier getting up, squatting down, and similar.  I have talked before about how I am a bit more resistant to summer heat, even at 230-140 pounds.  It will also be fun to go into stores and know that stuff on the regular shelves will fit me.  

This is all very optimistic talk, but my record is good.  It’s important to remember the fundamentals: eat only when physically hungry.  I keep myself on that goal by insisting I have total responsibility for my body and how much it weighs.  And setting up goals and rewards!  

Let’s see what happens tomorrow.  Good night!

-The Doctor

20201015 Daily report with fit bit

I used to swim twice a week as my main exercise – so I thought.  I have been wearing a Fitbit watch for a couple of weeks now, and it sees like it’s a rare day that I don’t take 10,000 steps.  Sometimes as many as 18 or 19 thousand.  I don’t even have to try, apparently I just do it.  How did I ever gain so much weight with all that walking around???  It must have taken some dedication.

Now, I am careful to portion what I eat and not overeat.  That is consistent with my new values.  I am working hard, but it is worthwhile.

Baked nachos! A family favorite.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 4oz rice (120); beef and broccoli (150);

  • 270 calories

Lunch – Italian bread (120); ham (200);

  • 320 calories 

Dinner – 15oz Nachos (600); chips (140); sour cream (50);

  • 790 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); 1 serving tea cookies (170)

  • 250 calories

Total for the day: 1630 calories (limit 1700)

Over the long term

I decided early in my effort to lose 120 pounds that I would have to make a lifestyle change.  I didn’t want to lose weight and then gain it back.  That meant that the old me had to go.  I knew that I couldn’t just change my habits, I had to change the reason for them.  I had to build a new person who would be in control of their body.  It’s a different way of seeing the world.  I also had to build a lifestyle that I could live with and even enjoy.  I had tried many times to force myself to eat less and lose weight just by willpower.  I knew that was a loser, from experience.

I have been doing this for nearly two years now.  It is doable and I feel pretty confident that I can do this for a long time.  And I have shown over this time that I can lose weight whenever I want.  It does take work and it is not easy.  But it can be done.  My mind does boggle a bit at the idea that, when I want to stop losing weight, I may have to start eating an extra 500-1000 calories per day.  What will that be like???

Maintaining a weight will be a whole new challenge.  But it can’t be harder than losing 100+ pounds, right?

Right?

-The Doctor

 

20201014 Daily report: keep on

It won’t be a long report today.

The sequence for weight control is meal by meal.  First, give yourself something to anticipate.  Plan your meals out before you go to bed the night before.  You must plan well so that each is worth waiting for.

Second, you must be hungry to enjoy your food properly.  Not starving; but peckish.  That means: don’t eat too much the day before.  Pay attention to your body and eat just when you are getting hungry.

Third, you must prepare for your next meal.  You can’t overeat at breakfast and truly enjoy lunch, and so on.  Don’t spoil the anticipation and the feeling of hunger.  It brings a sense of accomplishment to your mission: being in control of your body’s weight.  Every meal is a reinforcement, a reward.  Keep the rewards coming.

It's called Saturday Evening Supper. It's Wednesday, don't ask.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 8oz steel cut oats (215); low calorie syrup (25);

  • 240 calories

Lunch – ham, pretzels, crackers, chocolate, candy (700);

  • 700 calories 

Dinner – Saturday Evening Supper with sausage (240); 4oz noodles (200); goat cheese (100); vegetables (25);

  • 565 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80);

  • 80 calories

Total for the day: 1590 calories (limit 1700, Fitbit calories burned = 3715)

Time for bed

You have to decide that weight control matters more to you than almost everything else.  When it succeeds, you double and triple down on the winning strategy.  Refine it and make it work for you.  Reward yourself along the way.

I find the most troublesome reward is buying new clothes.  Your old clothes don’t fit, but you’re not yet buying “thin” clothes.  Going clothes shopping after you have lost 110 pounds is fun.  Knowing that you still have to lose 30 pounds to be considered fit….is difficult.  You can do it but it is an impatient place to be.

I have transformed the way I look at food and the way I look at the world.  It is not all positive.  But it is useful for accomplishing my goal: control my body’s weight.

Goodnight,

-The Doctor

20201013 Daily report cooling off

I have found it useful to treat each new day as a new chance to do well.  If I have a bad diet day, then it is only one bad day.  It doesn’t wreck the whole weight loss lifestyle.  Scott Adams, of Dilbert, describes this as a way of setting productive goals.  He points out that if your goal is to reach a certain weight or just to lose weight, it is hard to ensure success.  In a way, everything you eat counts against your goal!

He suggests you change your goal: he tries to “eat healthy” at every meal.  That way, every meal is a chance to succeed.  If you goal is “lose weight” or “reach 150 pounds” then every meal counts against the goal.  You could always eat less, and lose more.  It’s a defeating attitude.

I changed my goal of eating.  I make sure that I enjoy every meal by employing the sense of hunger.  My goal is to enjoy every meal to the max.  That’s a fun goal.  Who wouldn’t want that?

Chinese Beef and broccoli stiry fry

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – Reuben sandwich, with bread (200); Swiss cheese (70); 2oz corned beef (70); Thousand island dressing (50); sauerkraut (25);

  • 415 calories

Lunch – Braciole (250); 4oz cooked noodles (200);

  • 450 calories 

Dinner – 5oz white rice (160); beef and broccoli stir fry (300)

  • 460 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); cookies (170)

  • 250 calories

Total for the day: 1575 calories (limit 1700)

Good goals make good results

By making my goal of eating both “enjoy this meal” and” prepare to enjoy the next meal” I have set myself up for success in weight control.  I will enjoy this current meal, because I let myself anticipate it.  I plan and cook ahead whenever possible.  I rarely go to the refrigerator and try to decide what to eat on the spur of the moment.  That’s what restaurants are for!  I make food I really want and make sure that I get hungry just when it it’s time to eat it.  

I prepare to enjoy the next meal both by cooking and planning ahead, and by making sure I don’t overeat during THIS meal.  Food is the best when you are a little hungry – but not too much.  I have learned that if I overeat, then I won’t enjoy the next meal.  My body seems to like the arrangement.  

This double goal uses hunger as a tool, with great success.  Are you hungry when you sit down?  Success!  Did you eat a measured portion, so that you will be hungry next time?  Success!  Can you do that all day?  Success!  Plus, you are linking physical hunger to eating just the right amount.  The trouble comes when you have learned to eat for emotional reasons.  Then, emotional turmoil in your life might make you want to revert to your old ways.  You have to build up the true link: good is for physical hunger and not for anything else.  

Pick goals you enjoy and you will fight to achieve them!

-The Doctor

20201012 Daily report: walking, walking

My body’s weight is walking down, slowly, slowly.  And I am walking every day, 7-8 miles, if you can believe my pedometer.  The two are probably connected.

When I was living my past life, I didn’t pay any attention to my body’s weight at all.  I couldn’t have told you how much I weighed or how much I was eating.  I had no system and no plan.  I ate when I felt like it, and I didn’t pay any attention to the consequences.  The result: uncontrolled weight gain.

Don’t let yourself believe that there are people who are naturally thin.  Thin people who have stayed thin throughout their lives have to work at it.  They might not think of it as work, but it is.  It doesn’t have to take a lot of willpower, but it does take work.  

There are tortellini under there!

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – toast (120); ham 200);

  • 320 calories

Lunch – Reuben sandwich, with bread (200); Swiss cheese (70); 2oz corned beef (70); Thousand island dressing (50); sauerkraut (25);

  • 415 calories 

Dinner – tortellini (200); Braciole (300); gravy (50);

  • 550 calories

Snacking – chocolate (150);

  • 150 calories

Total for the day: 1435 calories (limit 1700, Fitbit predicts I burned 3625 calories today while walking 7.2 miles.)

You can do it

It is very important to celebrate your achievements and to set up your tasks so that you achieve results regularly, or at least have the chance to.  Part of that is measuring.  I measure how many calories I eat per day.  I measure how many calories I eat per week.  I know that it takes 3500 calories of deficit to lose one pound of weight.  So if I lose 2 pounds, I was down 7000 calories on the week.

You know, I have never tried to correlate my weekly calorie count with my weekly weight loss?   I need to fix that!  I have nearly 2 years of data.

But anyway, if I lose 1 pound, that means I was down 3500 calories on the week, an average of 500 calories per day.  You can do that and never feel deprived, if you are careful and listen to your body.  Yes, if I lose 2 pounds it does mean I was down 1000 calories per day!

(Does that mean that when I want to stay at a weight, I need to eat 1000 MORE calories per day than I am now?  I bet it’s not that simple.)

I like to reward every 10 pounds lost.  That’s about one reward every month or so.  What is my reward?  Food!  What else?  Don’t be worried, I don’t destroy my diet.  I make something special or have a special meal out, and I work it into my calorie plan.  It usually doesn’t cost me even one day of weight control to celebrate my achievement.  I have also toyed with celebrating other milestones, like losing 50 pounds, 100 pounds, 111 pounds, or 125 pounds.  I went into this weight control attempt with the target of 125 pounds lost, isn’t that worth celebrating?  I may not even stay there, I am guessing I will want to try being thinner as well.  Celebrations are important, it’s like a promise you are making to yourself and then keeping it.  It’s part of a system of responsibility and reward.

They go together!  And it works.

-The Doctor

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