Daily tracking

20191017 Daily report

My hobby is now weight control.  I take an active interest, and think about it in my daily life, and read about it.  It wasn’t always like this.  I had to recreate myself if I wanted to control my body’s weight, since my old self was so hopeless at it.  It was starting to get depressing.  You start to lose confidence in yourself, when you have dieted and failed enough times. 

Now my trajectory is towards weight control.  It is very important to me and I am confident I am succeeding.  That is very non-depressing.  Fulfilling, in fact.  And it builds on itself.  The way I have planned this out, weight control is better than dieting.  Weight control is for your whole life, dieting is temporary.  I am living a weight control lifestyle, which means I do two things: (1) regulate my food intake and (2) weigh myself regularly.  To regulate my food intake, I bribe myself with delicious food, but in measured amounts.  And I keep a food journal.

About-to-be-constructed chicken sandwich, about 400 calories pictured.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 2x bratwurst (260); half a whole wheat wrap (55), onions and mustard (a few calories surely)

  • 600 calories

Lunch – office lunch – 2x small Mediterranean chicken kebabs (70); roasted broccoli (20); rice (50); cake (200);

  • 410 calories 

Dinner – 2x Tyson’s panko breaded chicken breast pieces (200); half whole wheat wrap (55); some baked nacho topping (300);

  • 755 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80);

  • 80 calories

Total for the day: 1845 calories (limit 1800)

Mr. Pants

I have made the jump to size 44 pants. I have been wearing size 46 since July.  I say “wearing”, but size 46 pants were pretty snug and and a bit uncomfortable when I first started wearing them.  I was able to wear these size 44 pants all day, though I should point out that they are Haggar pants with an expandable waistband.  Even so, you know when you are straining against the expandable joint, and I hardly was at all.  Being in between sizes is my reality for the next while.  I actually bought three pairs of Haggar work pants at the start of the summer: size 46, 44, and 42.  They were having a sale – three pairs for $100.  The 46s have started to fold excess fabric around the waist when I use a belt, so I am smaller than they were designed for, but I am still slightly too big for 44s.  

It’s taken a lot longer than I calculated when I first bought all these pants.  Based on my rate of weight loss then, about 8-10 pounds per month, I thought I would be going down a pants size per month.  In that world, I would already be in size 42 pants and they would be a pretty relaxed fit.  It turns out that losing weight and waist size are not in a linear relationship, at least for men.  I have been in size 46 from July to October – that’s a span of 20 pounds!  At this rate I won’t break size 40 (into size 38s) until I weigh about 180 pounds! I’m not even planning to get that low in weight.  Maybe 190.  Maybe 200.  It all depends on how my body looks and feels at that weight.

The important part is, I can choose, because I am pursuing weight control.  I’ll be able to pick what I want my weight to be.  I think there will be a lot of work involved finding a way to keep a stable weight and still be happy.  Losing weight is a system I have worked out, to some degree.  It’s all self knowledge and I am happy to learn and grateful that I can do it.  

But I am getting ahead of myself.  My lowest weight so far has been 243 pounds.  There are still months to go before I lose all that.  And my observation is that the thinner you want to be, the harder it is to get there and stay there.  I’ve effectively lost the last two weeks due to bad diet days and travel effects.  I will be very happy when I get below 240 pounds.  What should my reward be?

What would yours be?

-The Doctor

20191016 Daily report

Staying on a diet is hard, if you are doing it using willpower.  Think about it.  A dieter is trying to do something they don’t want to do.  Maybe they are eating something they don’t like; maybe they are eating less than they want; maybe they are skipping meals; maybe they are are doing all of those things!  I failed on many attempts at dieting. The important point is that I was trying to force myself to do things I didn’t want to do.

I like creative lunch sandwiches on toasty bread.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – Oven-toasted Jimmy Dean sausage, egg, and cheese croissantwich;

  • 400 calories

Lunch – ham (100); salami (110); and cheese (100); sandwich (bread 260); with mustard and horseradish and whatever pickled veggies I had lying around (30);

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – 6oz cooked spaghetti (300); 5x Costco meatballs (230); sauce and cheese (30)

  • 560 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); 2x Jaffa cakes (100); Costco chicken strips (100);

  • 280 calories

Total for the day: 1540 calories (limit 1800)

Changing my mind: how it plays out

The most success I ever had in those days (before realizing it was my mind that needed to change) was a variation of the low-carbohydrate diet.  I allowed myself to eat as much as i wanted, but restricted carbohydrates (non fiber) to 30 grams per day.  That’s about as many as are in an English muffin.  So I stopped eating things like bread (my favorite), rice, noodles, chips, and fruit juice, which are high in carbohydrates, but was unrestricted on anything else.  I lost about 25 pounds in 12 weeks, and there it mysteriously stopped.  After a couple of months stuck at 290, I gave it up.  

Now things are different.  I decided what needed to change was myself and the values I was living out.  What I valued was incompatible with losing weight.  I needed to value different things and look at life in a new way.  I have changed how I see the world, and my reasons for eating, and my life goals.  Willpower is involved, but since what I am trying to do is attractive, pursuing it comes more naturally. 

I changed several things, but one of the most important things I did was to promote weight control up my list of values, to one of the top spots.  Now, there is not much in my life that is more important than that.  After I made that decision and thought it through, it was clear to me that what I needed was a system that would last my lifetime.  I wasn’t at all interested in losing weight and then gaining it all back again.  So in effect I needed a new weight control lifestyle, and that meant I had to figure out a new way of thinking about food and eating.  The new lifestyle would have to be attractive and self reinforcing, so that it wouldn’t take willpower.  I talk about my lifestyle a lot on these posts.  Do you see why I like it?  My pictures are meant to capture this happy approach.  

And it’s not just food and eating.  Figuring out what you value is also very important for controlling money and spending!  I have been thinking about this and intend to write a few posts about financial control.  Financial control, to give a preview, is similar to weight control in that your values make all the difference.  If spending money makes you feel good and feel happy and important and loved, then how would you make yourself stop?  It would be like withholding happiness, love, and goodness from yourself.  A person with the habit of spending, like a person who is overeating and gaining weight, needs to discover new values to make any lasting change.  

Your values might be revealed this way:  “What kind of life do you want to have?  What would it take to get there?  How do you NOT want to end up?”  Try asking and answering those questions and you can start to articulate answers.  If you don’t like the answers, you can think about changing them.  

Positive values might include taking care of your family, taking responsibility for your life, saving for a rainy day, helping others, being a good parent, or a good partner.  I made a value out of weight control, but it clearly fits under the categories of taking care of my family and taking responsibility for my life.  

Do you see how it fits there?  

-The Doctor

20191015 Daily report

Every day, I dedicate significant time to paying attention.  When I was gaining weight (for about the last 20 years) I didn’t pay attention to how much I was eating, or when I ate, or what I ate.  But it took time for that to go really bad.  Eventually, I reached a bad place: having a full stomach was good, and eating to be full was good, and eating to be full at every meal was the best and highest good.  By that point, I was almost paying negative attention.  I paid attention to the cheap and easy comfort of feeling full.

How did I escape that kind of thinking?  I realized that my goal was to be full.  When I dieted, I was working against myself, feeling empty, unfulfilled (and unfilled), outraged, resentful, and just waiting to quit.  The author Scott Adams said in one of his books that his way out of that trap was to realize this and adopt a different view.  He decided that when he ate, his goal and highest good was to feel healthy.  Mine is to cultivate maximum enjoyment from food and eating.  But we both talk about the willpower problem.  What’s the problem?  Willpower runs out.  On our diet systems, we both eat whatever we want. 

The double brat! I managed this degree of browning in the oven.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 2oz Carando brown sugar ham (100); Swiss cheese (90); toasted bread (160); sandwich with pickles and mustard and horseradish (negligible calories)

  • 350 calories

Lunch – 2x Johnsonville bratwurst (260); 1/2 whole wheat wrap (55); fried onions and mustard (25);

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – Costco chicken strips (100); last of the homemade sausage chili (100); 2 pancakes (100); a little kale and beans (50); pretzels, hummus,and cheese (250); 

  • 600 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (120); cookies (190)

  • 310 calories

Total for the day: 1860 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

And now, a word from our Sponsor

I don’t actually have a sponsor, but I do have something to say about sausages. Johnsonville’s bratwursts (the original ones) are the best bratwursts that you don’t make yourself.  (Kirkland makes a really good one also, but it’s not the winner.)  However, this is a blog about maximum enjoyment of food leading to thinner people.  So I will tell you that boiling them or even cooking them in a skillet on the stovetop just doesn’t bring out their best qualities.  It’s the grill that does that.  And my grill is closed for the fall. 

It’s been sad losing them from my summer food rotation.  They are so flame broiled and juicy!  Having two of those for lunch is a fulfilling shot of delicious protein.  I don’t feel hungry again for hours, and they are very satisfying.  Two of them on wraps, with caramelized onions, are only 600 calories.  And now I figured out that I can cook them in my oven at 425F in a cast iron skillet on the top oven shelf for 12 minutes per side and get almost perfect results!  I am so happy about that.  Be careful when you put in the onions!  Do that only when the sausages are already as brown as you would like.  The onions exude enough water to prevent any further browning.  

Part of my system is using rewards to keep myself happy about eating measured amounts of food.  One of the rewards is the food – it has to be exactly what I want, cooked exactly the way that I find most satisfying.  If you build up a meal in your mind with anticipation, and you are looking forward to it, and it turns out badly, that is very, very disappointing.  You feel like you have sacrificed for nothing.  Why eat less food if the food is terrible?  You are giving up something (feeling comfortable and full) to get something (delicious and well prepared food served exactly when you would most appreciate it).  You must, must keep up that bargain to stay on the Doctor of Things weight control lifestyle.  That means you do have to put some effort into preparing food, thinking about it, and preparing yourself.  

This is all part of the realization that thin people work hard to stay thin.  To believe that some people are naturally thin is to believe in magic.  Sure, some people have higher metabolisms than others.  I myself burn about 3000 calories per day.  My mother burns 1500.  But it takes work to be thin, for both of us.  Of course, I am  not thin yet.  

But I enjoy controlling my weight, and eating controlled portions of my favorite foods.  I like learning about myself and taking care of myself.  Nobody will do it for you (if you are an adult, anyway).  I even enjoy the anticipation of getting a little hungry just before a meal, since I know that first bite or two will be so satisfying.  It’s much more worthwhile than what I used to do.

-The Doctor

20191014 Daily report

Welcome, gentle Reader!  (I don’t mean gentle in the soft and careful sense, but more like “ladies and gentlemen!”)  As in, genteel.  This is high-class weight loss blogging, after all, and collects a select audience of people who are aiming high and reaching for success in their lives.  What is success?  Ay, there’s the rub!  

Success is weight control and lifestyle improvement.  The Doctor is calling you to a higher kind of living, where you use drama, suspense, determination, delay of gratification, fulfillment, satisfaction, and love, as worthy replacements for the highest values of any overweight person who is currently gaining weight.  The highest values of the weight gaining person are: feeling full, and a life of ease.  A sense that of something is good, then more of it is better.  And, unfortunately, avoidance of consequences.  That was me, and sometimes still is. 

Nachos! Family style, with meat, beans, cheese, salsa, sour cream and chips.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – skipped 

  • 0 calories

Lunch – 8oz baked nacho topping with beef, cheese, and beans (390); 1oz tortilla chips (150); 2T sour cream (60);

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – 13oz homemade beef stew with potatoes, peas and carrots (530)

  • 530 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); cookies (200); chocolate almonds (160)

  • 440 calories

Total for the day: 1570 calories (limit 1800)

Calamity!!!1!1!

I didn’t skip breakfast because of my extreme virtue.  I wasn’t hungry.  That’s because yesterday, with all the travel and whatnot, I didn’t have the discipline to keep my weight control going.  I just let go and ate whatever I felt like.  Later, I tried writing it all down, but I am not sure the count is accurate.  This follows a bad diet week which I documented last week.  So do I lay down and quit my diet?  Ha, trick question.  I am not on a diet.  I am living a new lifestyle which is fulfilling and attractive.  I want to get back to it.  This means even if I have a bad day, week, or month, there is an incentive to get back to the weight control life.  

But, there are consequences to deal with.  I had a bad week and didn’t lose any weight, last week.  This week is shaping up the same.  Well, so far I have had a bad Sunday this week.  In any case, if you have a bad day or a bad week, you don’t get to go back and have a do-over.  You have to deal with it.  Next Saturday, I won’t have lost any weight.  That will be two weeks in a row.

Some people would call that a plateau.  But thanks to my food journal and insistence of writing down everything I eat, I know that isn’t the case.  Let me explain.  Every day, my target is 1850 calories.  For one week 1850 x 7 = about 13,000 calories.  My body needs about 3000 calories per day to maintain its current weight (WebMD has a calculator).  3,000 x 7 = 21,000.  Therefore on a perfect week I am in deficit about 8,000 calories.  That’s about two pounds a week I could lose (you have to be in deficit about 3500 calories per week to lose one pound).  Hang on!  If I have one bad day with 700 calories extra, I am still in deficit 8000 – 700 or 7300.  Won’t I still lose weight?

My experience says my body will not lose any weight that week.  For reasons that are unclear to me, my body seems to get thrown off by that kind of event (one bad day).  I won’t lose anything that week.  Everything has to be going well for me to lose weight, and for the whole week.  I don’t know why that is, but I have seen it over and over in the last 10 months.  

Anyway, even though I won’t lose anything this week, I will still get back on my weight control lifestyle for the rest of the week.  It’s just that much better, more fulfilling and satisfying, than me living any other way.  Especially the way I lived before, when I was gaining weight and had no control.  That was getting depressing.

Before, I was writing about the values of the overweight and gaining weight person.  I know because I lived them.  I have investigated and discovered the values of thin people, and I have adapted them to my life.  So I know like I know myself, that overweight people like to overeat because there is enjoyment in living a carefree life.  It’s strange to hear overweight people complaining about people who are “naturally” thin.  There’s no such thing.  Every thin person you see works to stay that way, and the thinner they are, the more effort it costs them.  It’s a fundamental difference in how we see the world.  People who are overweight and gaining, live their lives without counting calories, writing food journals, weighing their food, and obsessing over clothes sizes.  So they think thin people don’t either.  

See the trap?  There is a cost to getting thin and keeping thin.  (Barring health issues.)  And who wants to pay it?  The trick I have discovered is that adopting the viewpoint of a thin person can be integrated into a fulfilling life.  It’s not about starvation and deprivation.  Well, it doesn’t have to be.  I’ve lost significant weight without systemic deprivation or hardship.  So could you!  Read on.  

-The Doctor

20191011 Daily report

Every day, my priority is to live out the weight control mechanism: (1) regulate your food intake, and (2) weigh yourself regularly.  Regulating food intake means eating calorie-controlled portions of food, but that is only part of the meaning.  It also means keeping a food journal, which means planning meals ahead of time.  One way I am able to keep eating measured portions of food is to make sure the food is very appealing, and to make sure I get it when I would most appreciate it.  In other words: I keep myself happy with rewards, or, you could say I bribe myself to control eating.  Take your pick.  But it seems to work.

Eight pieces like this made 550 calories. You like?

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 8oz baked nacho topping (beef, beans, cheese, salsa, 390);

  • 390 calories

Lunch – 13oz homemade beef stew (530)

  • 530 calories 

Dinner – Aldi frozen pizza half with sausage (550)

  • 550 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (160); Kirkland euro chocolate cookies (270)

  • 430 calories

Total for the day: 1900 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

Recovery week

This week didn’t go well every day.  I had a couple of bad diet days Tuesday and Wednesday.  It was a situation started by carelessness and then compounded by my own stubbornness. 

Remember that I keep myself on track with the weight control lifestyle by paying attention to my body’s needs and making sure I am happy with the food, and keep up my interest by building an appetite (but not getting too hungry).  And I made a mistake: I went to bed late Monday, got up late Tuesday, didn’t take care of myself, rushed out the door, and had breakfast too, too late.  Then I was feeling hungry and deprived all day.  I didn’t take care of myself.  I could have moved up lunch and dinner that day to be earlier, that would have helped.  But no, I forced myself to have lunch and dinner at the regular time.  An important part of me felt deprived, resentful, and unloved.  So at 10PM that part took over and I ate an extra 700 calories.  

Instead of learning my lesson, I then made things worse.  I tried to wind back the clock.  I skipped breakfast, which was ok since I wasn’t hungry, but then I prioritized making the calorie numbers right instead of paying attention to my needs.  I didn’t eat when I was hungry or take care of myself.  Then I got busy and didn’t have lunch until after 2PM.  Nothing was going well by that point.  And sure enough, I found myself eating another 700 calories that night too.  I had really let myself down. 

This is a negotiated deal, and I have made a promise to myself.  I am supposed to take care of myself and make sure I don’t get too hungry and unhappy.  That is my priority.  In return, my body and the subconscious parts of my brain are content with eating less food.  If I break the deal, if I pursue other priorities, if I don’t accept that I made a mistake…. then the deal is off.  

Today, and Thursday, I accepted the mistakes from Tuesday and Wednesday.  I made sure to eat the full number of calories due each day.  I didn’t force my body to make up for the past.  That means that this Saturday’s weighing won’t show much (or any) progress compared to last week.  But that is ok.  I have to let that go.  Next week I have a chance to make it a good week.  It really is all about living well.  

Live well, and lose weight as a bonus.

-The Doctor

20191010 Daily report

Dear Reader, imagine you could weigh whatever you wanted.  It would take some time to come true, at the rate of 2 pounds per week.  During that time, you could only eat those foods which excited and pleased you.  You wouldn’t be allowed to eat any diet foods or things that were just Good For You.  The food would be available to you just at the moment you were starting to notice hunger, but well before you started suffering.  You would live a life full of satisfaction and enjoyment.  But you would have to keep a food journal.  Would that be a worthy trade?  

On top of spaghetti, with a side of Meat Balls

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 2oz ham (100); Swiss cheese (90); toasted bread (160); sandwich with pickles and mustard and horseradish (negligible calories)

  • 350 calories

Lunch – 13 ounces homemade beef stew

  • 530 calories 

Dinner – 6 ounces cooked spaghetti (300); 5 Costo meatballs (230)

  • 530 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); Kirkland euro cookies (210)

  • 290 calories

Total for the day: 1730 calories (limit 1800)

Reboot #33

In France, when something has happened too many times, they say “for the thirty-third time!”  Here in the US we say “for the millionth time!”.  I haven’t had to reboot my weight loss system a million times.  It has happened more than once, though.  I might have a bad diet day, or several days, or I get sick, or have to do a lot of travel, or there is some other disruption to my routine that causes problems.  That just happened this week!  But my new lifestyle is like what I have described above.  Who wouldn’t want to live that way?  It’s very rich and fulfilling.  And you lose weight, almost as a bonus….though not when things don’t go well.  When that happens, though, you just have to let it go.  You don’t get to live that over again. Tomorrow is a new day, and if this week was ruined or wasted and you don’t lose any weight, well, next week might go better.   Never, ever punish yourself for a bad day.  This system has worked so far.

If you think about it, gaining weight isn’t usually even.  It usually happens in bursts, and you might have periods in your life when your weight is quite stable.  Why should weight loss be any different?  I am not a perfect man, so sometimes I will take two steps forward, and sometimes I will stand still.  I am pleased, though, that I have not taken any steps backwards during the last ten months.  

Fatigue!  That is something I think about from time to time.  I have been *on a diet* for ten months.  Don’t I get tired of it?  To which I say, re-read the first paragraph of today’s post.  Who would get tired of that?  I can have all my favorite foods in an infinite variety, served just when I would appreciate them the most.  In exchange, I give up some spontaneity and I have to write everything down and pay a lot of attention.  And I lose weight, too.  This is a trade I am very willing to make, having lived it.  No, I don’t get tired of this.  But I do make mistakes.  See yesterday’s post.  

It occurs to me that I have lost about 9 pounds a month for the last nine months (October only one week in).  I think the right attitude here is gratitude that I have found a system that works well and I have been able to transform myself this way.  In the mirror, I am just another guy 40 pounds overweight.  But I used to be 120 pounds over weight.  Someday in the next few months I will be 30….20…..10 pounds over, and that will be very interesting.  There is some impatience when you have lost 80 pounds and you are still not thin.  But in this system, the goal has not been weight loss, but lifestyle improvement and increased quality of life, more refined tastes, and body consciousness.  So I can ignore the feelings of impatience and fatigue, and just enjoy the gratitude.  Don’t be too hard on yourself – you have lost 80 pounds.  There’s more to come.  

Keep yourself positive.  

-The Doctor

20191009 Daily report

Greetings, dear Reader!  This blog is about my new lifestyle and my new ability to lose weight, and my overall goal to be in control my weight.  In January of 2019, I was ready for some new thinking.  Previously, I believed that I could become a thin person through willpower.  I could force myself to eat less.  I also believed that thin people just had more willpower than I did.  Obviously that was true, because they were thin.  Duh.  

Keep in mind that the definition of success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.  Winston Churchill said that.  Don’t give up.  There are non-willpower things you can change.  But my success so far comes from the realization that thin people are thin because they work hard at it all the time.  The thinner they are, the harder they work at it.  It’s not willpower; at least, not in the way you think.  It’s a different way of seeing the world and a different set of values and goals, compared to those of us gaining weight.  

I have a gyros every Wednesday. I still lose weight. So can you.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – tea with half and half (80)

  • 80 calories

Lunch – Big Greek Cafe Gyros sandwich (600); 

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – Baked nacho topping (beef, cheese, beans, 390); 1oz tortilla chips (160); 2T sour cream (60);

  • 610 calories

Snacking – ham (100); pretzels (100); cookies (400); ice cream (130)

  • 730 calories

Total for the day: 2020 calories (limit 1800)

When things don't go well

The above calorie count is only part of the story.  Yesterday didn’t go well, either.  All day, I was feeling hungry and deprived.  I ignored those feelings.  And, after 10PM yesterday, I broke down and had some unplanned food, and then some more.  The overage came to about 700 calories.  That’s not good, if your goal is to control how many calories you are eating.  And I was no longer in control.  

Then, I made things worse.  When I woke up today, I decided to keep ignoring the problem.  I skipped breakfast, thinking the late night calories would get cancelled out.  Wrong!  I have experience with that not working out.  I even call it “punishing” myself.  I did it anyway.  Then, due to circumstances, I didn’t have lunch today until 2PM.  I let myself get way too hungry.  Guess what I did today after 9PM today?  Yes, I had more unplanned calories.  That’s two days out of control.  

Part of the system of weight control is total honesty in the food journal.  You write down everything you eat, and how much, and when, and what was happening.  You learn about yourself when things are going well and when things go wrong.  For the last two days, things have not gone well.  Thanks to my food journal and past experience, knowledge about myself, I have figured out what went wrong.  Luckily, my weight control system is very attractive.  It is self-reinforcing and you want to get back to it.  So I will also talk about getting back where I want to be.

Part of this system is the knowledge that I can’t force myself to obey.  I can tell myself to eat less, but nothing happens (not for long).  So I engage my will in figuring out how to persuade myself to eat regulated and measured amounts of food.  That way, I can control my food intake.  Result: weight loss.  The trade-off is that it takes a lot of time and effort and attention to keep myself happy eating measured amounts of food. 

Anyway, there are two ways to go now.  I can keep ignoring the problem and make things worse.  Or, I can fix it and move on.  This is not the first time I have had this choice.  So far this year, I have always chosen to fix it, and to find some gratitude for the lessons I learn about myself.  

Looking back at my food journal, do you know what started the problem?  It was Tuesday morning.  I had my breakfast a little too late – I didn’t make taking care of my appetite a priority.  Then, instead of moving lunch up to an earlier time, I ended up lunching late.  Again, I didn’t prioritize weight control.  To get my own cooperation, I found I have to take care of myself, or there will be consequences from the rest of me.  So by dinnertime part of me was feeling deprived and unloved.  Then, I waited to have dinner until 5.30, instead of moving it earlier, even though I was hungry and deprived and getting resentful and angry.  My ego can be so stubborn.  Like I said above, I even made things worse by trying to force myself to go without breakfast today.  

This attitude is destructive to my weight loss program.   The only way to get back to productive weight control is to accept a loss when it happens.  Wednesday was a loss.  Tuesday was a loss.  How to prevent Thursday from adding to the pile?  Why, accept the loss.  Thursday is a new day and I can get the new day right.  It doesn’t have to make up for the mistakes of previous days.  Tomorrow is a new day to approach, like Mr. Churchill says, with enthusiasm.  Hope.  I can take care of myself better tomorrow.  I find the rest of me is very forgiving.  I am grateful for that.

Be grateful to learn about yourself.  You can use that.  

-The Doctor

20191008 Daily report

Hello, dear Reader!  You are reading the ravings of a changed man.  Not one year ago, I weighed 325 pounds, with no end in sight.  Then, I discovered a rather successful way to lose weight.  And all I had to do was change my thinking!  Well, not all.  I did some other things, too (and I write about them in this blog).  But it all started with changing my mind about food, eating, and my life.  

Homemade beef stew for dinner. That's typical of my diet food.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – Jimmy Dean sausage, egg, and cheese croissantwich (400)

  • 400 calories

Lunch – 1/2 pizza from Aldi (550); 

  • 550 calories 

Dinner – 13oz homemade beef stew (530); 

  • 530 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); Kirkland euro cookies (250)

  • 330 calories

Total for the day: 1810 calories (limit 1800)

The trade

I have lost over 80 pounds so far.  It has been the best year of my life, and that has very little to do with being thinner!  You see, I am still 40 pounds overweight.  All I have to do to remind myself I am still rather overweight is look in the mirror, or try on pants.  Anyway, who else can say that losing 80 pounds has been fun and enjoyable? 

One of my insights was that normal diets are built around willpower and forcing yourself to eat less.  I can’t do that, not for long.  My new diet is a lifestyle change that I can keep up forever, because it is great.  I don’t usually feel deprived (though there can be moments).  But in exchange for eating measured amounts of food, I can eat whatever I crave.  And I prepare most of my meals myself, often from scratch.  Chocolate cookies?  Beef stew?  BLT?  Pizza?  Gyros?  Red beans and rice?  Curry???  Yes, those are all diet foods for me.  

The key to making this transformation is learn from your food experiences.  What you learn about yourself can be revolutionary.  I found, for example, that eating a measured amount of food, which I was craving, and had built up anticipation for, could be much more satisfying than eating a lot of food, when I wasn’t really hungry for it.  I realized that I had allowed “being full” to become my food goal.  Even if I wasn’t hungry, I wanted to be full, which took a lot of food.  All the time.  You can see where that led.

Instead, I find that a little hunger, at the right time, makes my food experience very satisfying.  The trade-off is that I do spend a lot of time and attention thinking about food, hunger, and eating.  I have made a decision that it is a price I am willing to pay, in exchange for the improved quality of life, fulfillment, and satisfaction.  Plus, I believe that my weight is under control now.   I do weigh 82 pounds less than before, though I still have 38 to go.  That’s good progress.  

I met a lady who told me she was trying to lose weight by eating salads instead of meals.  It wasn’t going well, since she had to force herself to do it.  Half jokingly I told her to make a BLT out of her salad and enjoy it!  Amazingly, every time I have seen her since then, she has brought up her BLT and how much she enjoys it.  Her weight loss is going better, too.  

What can you learn about yourself?  What are you trying to tell yourself?

-The Doctor

20191007 Daily report

One thing that may not be coming across in these daily posts is my quality of life. People I talk to find it hard to let go of the idea that losing weight means willpower.  A lady today asked how I kept from backsliding, and complimented me for keeping going.  There’s a definitely a disconnect, because I am living well right now.  I don’t feel deprived, because I have changed my values and my eating goals.  And besides, the food is wonderful.  Today, I am going to represent all my meals in pictures.  This is from a typical day.  

For breakfast, I made BLT wraps with lovely Costco bacon. 400 calories!

Oven fried bacon is the best.

And for lunch, I had 500 calories.  I made meatball, hummus, red kraut, and pickle wraps, with horseradish.  It’s like eating a Middle Eastern pita with beef.  Only better.  

Is the common link Costco? These are Kirkland meatballs.

Dinner doesn’t get an accurate picture.  I didn’t think to take one until just now.  I had a bowl of baked Mexican nacho topping, a family recipe involving ground beef, beans, and cheese, layered and baked.  Then it is served with chips, salsa, and sour cream.  The different textures and tastes are wonderful!  Here’s a picture of a similar thing I did with chili last week.

Actually, the nachos don't have any ingredients from Costco.

My plan was to have cookies and tea around 3-4PM, but that didn’t work out today.  Instead, I had tea and cookies for dessert.  These cookies are from Costco!  Five of them are about 210 calories.

They are not large cookies, but pleasantly chocolatey.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 4x Bacon pieces (70); 1 whole wheat wrap (110); lettuce and tomato and some horseradish.

  • 400 calories

Lunch – 6x Kirkland meatballs (47); 2T hummus (80); red sauerkraut and pickles with horseradish

  • 500 calories 

Dinner – 8oz nachos (390); 1oz tortilla chips (160) 2T sour cream (60);

  • 610 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); jerky (50); Kirkland chocolate cookies (210)

  • 340 calories

Total for the day: 1850 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

See how I suffer

I’m just joking.  I am not suffering, but enjoying this life.  The food is so good that I can look forward to it.  It is worthwhile to get a little hungry just before eating it.  If the food was always so-so, or salad, or some diet food, why would I look forward to it?  Nobody looks forward to salad every day (as the meal). 

This actually has caused me problems, when the food didn’t turn out well at a restaurant, for example.  It’s a huge let-down and you feel cheated.  You’ve sacrificed for nothing.  So to make this work, I use my willpower, not to eat less, but to make sure what I am eating is worth the trouble.  And it’s a lot of trouble, both getting hungry and preparing all the food!  Every meal has to be great, or else the system collapses.  

The satisfaction and fulfillment that come from preparing and eating this kind of food, while building up your own anticipation and maximizing your enjoyment, while having a measured portion, just brings your whole being together.  It’s a great feeling, having all your parts come together to make a success of some part of your life.  This is an amazing feeling and I would give up a lot to keep doing this.  I might even give up 120 pounds, or more.  

Isn’t that a nice way to think about it?

-The Doctor

20191006 Daily report

The purpose of the daily report is well expressed in the tags to this post: Daily report, Long term dieting, Paying attention, and Stay on a diet.  I am no longer the man I was prior to 2019.  Now, I see the world in a new way and I live according to a new set of values.  One of those new values is to care a lot about how much I weigh.

Terry Pratchett said (paraphrasing) that the essence of magic was to describe the world in a way it couldn’t ignore.  Well, I have transformed myself using the power of magic.  In these posts, I am describing a new way of living – the way I am living now.  I have lost more than 80 pounds by just adopting a new and appealing lifestyle.  I plan to lose at least 40 more pounds.  That seems possible, considering I am two-thirds of the way along.  

Not bad, but needs more browning

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – ham (100); Swiss cheese (120); toasted bread (160); horseradish and mustard and pickle sandwich; 8 oven roasted Brussels sprouts (60)

  • 440 calories

Lunch – 8oz nacho topping (390); 1oz nacho chips (160); 2 Tbsp sour cream (60)

  • 610 calories 

Dinner – 11.25 ounces beef stew (475); ccc (00)

  • 475 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (120); 5x Kirkland tea cookies (210)

  • 330 calories

Total for the day: 1855 calories (limit 1800)

Don't crowd the pan

The total recipe of beef stew, cooked, weighed 7 pounds and contained 4750 calories.  So I had a tenth of it for dinner (7 pounds is 112 ounces, so the portion was 11.25 ounces, nearly three-quarters of a pound), which makes 475 calories.  It didn’t look like a lot in the bowl, but really it was very filling.  Three quarters of a pound is a fair amount of beef stew!

The only problem was browning the beef.  I tried doing it outside, since that kind of thing is hard on the kitchen surfaces.  It was going well with my electric skillet, until the last batch.  I crowded the pan and so the meat didn’t brown well in that batch.  Darn!  The stew was really good but I had this feeling that it could have been better, with more browning of the meat.   Anyway, an extra glass of wine (in me) solved that problem.  

I literally had a comment from a reader regarding willpower.  To clarify: it’s true, I am not using willpower to eat less food.  I have tried and tried that, and all it does is frustrate me, make me resentful, and then feel disappointed when I fail and give up.  Instead, I changed my mind.  Now, I use my willpower to pay attention to my needs and try to meet them.  I spent a good part of the weekend shopping and cooking to prepare for the week.  I have homemade beef stew and a baked Mexican nacho casserole, for dinners.  For lunches, I have ham, chicken, hummus, meatballs, and low calorie bread wraps ready to go.  There is bacon ready to reheat.  Actually, that sounds like the perfect breakfast.  

I negotiated with myself, built trust, and established a system of rewards.  In exchange for the food being satisfying and delivered with care and attention to when I am most hungry, I have found my body and subconscious parts are willing to eat controlled amounts of food.  If I slack off, look out!  I may have a bad diet day.  So willpower is involved, but not in the way people think.  For me, living this way, there is no need to use willpower or force, to eat less food.  I am as happy as I have ever been, living this way.  I feel like all my parts are working together and achieving remarkable results.

Fine, I caused the problem (overweight) myself, by not paying attention, by having short term and shallow goals, by being stubborn and set in my ways.  But addressing it so dramatically and successfully so far, is remarkable anyway.  It does take discipline.  But I don’t have to force myself to eat things I don’t want, and I don’t have to force myself away from the table hungry and resentful.  That used to be me.

What parts of your thinking are due for a redo?

-The Doctor

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