Daily tracking

20190417 Daily report

Today didn’t go according to plan.  I woke up and wasn’t hungry.  That’s unusual, especially given my calorie deficit yesterday.  Then at lunchtime, I went out and ordered a cheese steak sub.  That sounded good.  But when it arrived it was all disappointing.  That was bad for my motivation.  In my new lifestyle, I sacrificed a future where I found fulfillment in being full; and traded it for a better future, where I get fulfillment from the quality of the experience.  I want the food I am really craving, in other words.  I didn’t get that.  So it was very sad, a letdown.  When I got home I had to make it up to myself using ice cream and chocolate. 

Only 120 calories, and fun to eat!

My daily food intake and calorie count:

Breakfast – Bratwurst wrap (300)

  • 300 calories

Lunch – Steak and cheese sandwich (500)

  • 500 calories

Dinner – Beef stroganoff (400) and noodles (200).

  • 600 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); chocolate (160), Nestle Li’l Drum chocolate cone (120)

  • 360 calories

Total for the day: 1760 calories (limit 1800)

So, you might ask, my solution to a disappointing meal is to binge?  Isn’t that bad for the diet and the lifestyle? 

As it happens, binge is a strong word.  I had 160 calories of chocolate and 120 calories of ice cream cone.  That kept me on target and true to my aim.  And it took away my disappointment.  Now, this probably isn’t the best solution.  Those 500 calories of disappointing sandwich were eaten and I couldn’t get them back.  Eating chocolate does add more calories to my total.  A better answer might have been to not eat the cheesesteak sandwich I found disappointing, and then eat a better meal later on.  But I wasn’t prepared, I was hungry, and didn’t bring a snack to tide me over.  (The cheesesteak wasn’t bad, just not very good.)  Maybe always having a snack with me is a good idea.  Little packets of beef jerky would do, I like jerky and it keeps well at room temperature. 

My old values included not wasting food.  I have tried changing that in my new lifestyle by making that imperative less important, and also by changing the definition of waste.  Now food can be a waste by not being worthwhile.  It should be thrown away.  I don’t want it in my body.  Maybe that sounds bad – throwing away food because it isn’t fulfilling enough.  But I have a serious problem I am trying to get out of – how do I get in control of my eating?  It’s a case of waste or waist.  And my new values say, waist comes first. 

Anyway, it’s time to get ready for Easter!  I have a lot of food fun planned for this weekend.  This will be a great time for dieting and celebrating rebirth.  And my birthday is coming soon, too. 

-The Doctor

20190416 Daily report

Today was a swimming day.  I like some exercise, especially swimming.  I go twice a week and take some time in the hot tub afterwards.  This routine was part of my life well before I started taking control of my food intake and weighing myself weekly.  It’s safe to say that swimming doesn’t make me any thinner.  I don’t depend on it to, either.  But swimming is one of my favorite ways to exercise, and always has been.

My daily food intake and calorie count are:

Breakfast – skipped (0); still didn’t feel well

  • 0 calories

Lunch – pizza slice (100); 2 x medium carnitas wraps (300); chocolate (150); Li’l Drum ice cream (110).

  • 650 calories

Dinner – 4 x small carnitas wraps (500).

  • 500 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80), grapes (60), banana (110)

  • 250 calories

Total for the day: 1400 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

Note that I wasn’t trying to diet extra hard today.  (That’s counterproductive in my book, forcing myself to starve. ) I just wasn’t very hungry.  This might be due to my large lunch yesterday but is probably mostly because I have a little stomach upset since I woke up yesterday.  Exercising today was a little difficult – I got winded quickly and didn’t keep up with my regular lap times as I got late into the routine.  It seems like I was a little ill.  Hopefully that goes away soon!  Maybe I will still eat those 500 missing calories on another day if I get really hungry. 

Back to exercise.  Presumably there are people who can make themselves lose weight by exercise alone, but I am not one of them.  Props to them, but I think my situation is more common.  There are also a lot of people who have lost weight just by changing their food intake and no exercise at all.  Luckily for them, that works – so long as you make the changes to your lifestyle and to your values, and not just for temporary.  That way you have a great chance to make the weight stay off.

If I hated exercise, it would be harder for me to maintain my new life.  I might resent forcing myself to go and exercise on top of persuading myself to stay within my food intake limits.  That’s why I don’t recommend that someone starting a diet add any new exercise to their routine.  There’s plenty of time to exercise once you have lost weight, are secure in your new lifestyle, and are living a fulfilling life where you trust yourself and your mind and body are working together. 

I do believe that exercise moves my weight around, hopefully from my fat areas to my muscles.  I won’t know for sure until I am a bit thinner!  I may have lost 43 pounds since I started in January, but I still have 77 to go.  That distorts the body a bit.  But the important point is that I am using my exercise to help regulate my food intake.  I like to swim, so I don’t have to persuade myself to do it.  Instead, I take the calories that I burned and use them to keep myself happy with my diet.  I’m always extra hungry on exercise day, and for good reason.  The calculation goes: I burned 600 calories exercising, so I will allow myself 500 extra.  It’s win-win.  I get to swim.  I get extra calories to play with, and I get extra hungry, which increases my enjoyment of my food.   Last, I go into deficit another 100 calories as a bonus.  (600 burned minus 500 eaten = 100.)   So this is a great compromise that is working for me.

-The Doctor

20190415 Daily report

Today was a day to deliver on a promise I made to myself on March 30, 2019.  On that day, I weighed myself and was less than 290 pounds (starting at 325 pounds on January 1, 2019).  What was this promise and why did I make it?  The promise was that I would reward myself for making my new lifestyle work.  It’s all about meaning and reward.  I rewarded myself with a really big lunch and I have been looking forward to it for weeks!

It was a pleasure to keep this promise.

Are you asking yourself, can he lose any weight eating that?!?  Actually, yes I can.  This is a reward, not an everyday meal.  And will lose weight this week.  I have made the calories fit. 

My daily food intake and calorie count:

Breakfast – Bratwurst wrap (300)

  • 300 calories

Lunch – Indian buffet (1500).  This is more or less an estimate, but it’s a reasonable guess.  A fair amount was vegatables, but in rich sauces.  I’m not going to beat myself up over a reward.

  • 1500 calories

Dinner – Not hungry.

  • 0 calories

Snacking – not hungry (0)

  • 0 calories

Total for the day: 1800 calories (limit 1800)

As I was developing my new food lifestyle, I learned that one way to find meaning in your life was to get different layers of yourself, of your being, aligned and working together.  Body and mind (and soul, if you can manage that).  If you’re just sitting there, forcing yourself to eat a lettuce-only diet to reach your goal weight, it’s a pretty terrible existence.  I decided that was why dieting didn’t work for me – diets depended on pure willpower, on forcing myself to do things I didn’t want and didn’t find rewarding or meaningful.  Even if I succeeded in losing some weight by force of will, I had no plan to live any differently after the diet ended.  My old life would be there waiting for me, and the old body would come back.  There is no way that I would lose 120 pounds and then have it come back.  It’s more than I could stand, I would really hate myself.  I needed a new way.

I invented a new way of being.  Along with that came a new system of values.  In that hierarchy of things I value, having my body under control was at the top of what I was aiming for in life.  How do you get your weight under control?  Do what thin people do.  Make a lifetime commitment to (1) monitor your weight and (2) regulate your food intake.  If I was successful, I would get my weight under control and keep it where I wanted it.  I decided this should be a joyful way of living.  Force would not be used.  I should be able to find meaning in the journey and the journey should not end with a goal weight.  This is my lifetime goal.  It should be rewarding!

For now, I reward myself for keeping it together, keeping my new values at the top (where they should be).  I reward myself for making this new lifestyle work.  The rewards reinforce my weight loss and are not counterproductive.  I make the promises to myself and then I keep them, so that I trust myself and have an incentive to keep the different parts of myself together willingly. 

-The Doctor

20190414 Daily report

Every day, I keep track of my food intake and calorie count using a spreadsheet.  I plan to do it for the rest of my life.  That’s because people who stay thin and in control of their weight do two things.  (1) They monitor their weight and (2) control their food intake.  I’m not somebody who can do that by eyeball.  The tools of the trade are nutrition information on the package, calorie counting and the kitchen scale.  Sometimes I use a cup measure.  

As determined as I am to do this, and though I have used the technique to lose more than 40 pounds, I simplify a bit.  I had a sandwich wrap today, and I don’t carefully count the condiments, like pickles, sauerkraut, lettuce, tomatoes, mustard, or horseradish sauce (not usually together on the same sandwich).  I do a quick estimate.  Usually I round up to the nearest 50 or 100 calories, so if my sandwich is 460, with pickles and horseradish sauce, I say 500 calories total instead of counting pickle slices.  There are limits.

For dinner, I made beef stroganoff – based on an America’s Test Kitchen recipe.  The total calories I calculated at 3000, including the noodles.  I measured  1/5 of the total for my dinner.  

Filet steak in sauce made of cream and white wine.  Look how I suffer! Actually, I love my new lifestyle.

My daily food intake and calorie count are:

Breakfast – Leftover fritatta in a wrap (300), 2x pizza slices (200)

  • 500 calories

Lunch – meatball and hummus wraps (500)

  • 500 calories

Dinner – Homemade beef Stroganoff (400) with egg noodles (200).

  • 600 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (120)

  • 120 calories

Total for the day: 1720 calories (limit 1800)

Today was a good diet day, though it didn’t feel like it.  I am getting used to these portion sizes.  I kept feeling like I was eating a lot.  I also was a bit late for lunch and didn’t have a snack with me.  That was a fail.  I got really hungry and a bit grumpy.  Luckily, lunch was really good.  

I am recognizing that my Saturday weigh-in is very emotional.  I get anxious about it, and hung up on the results a bit.  I notice my behavior changes towards the end of the week as I worry about Saturday morning.  So far, the results have been good.  But there is that seed of doubt.  Next week, will I have lost weight?  People talk about plateauing, is that a real thing for someone as regimented as I am about counting calories?    I did have two weeks in January where I weighed the same.  I tell myself: stay the course.  This has worked so far and I am really enjoying the feeling that my mind and body are lined up in agreement on how to do this and make it work.  I will deal with problems if they happen.  

-The Doctor

20190412 Report

I am happy this week is over.  It was a successful week for losing weight, judging by my food intake, but I need more sleep than this.  

Today was a swimming day.  Using an online calculator, I found that for my height, weight, and exercise regimen, I am burning about 600 calories per workout.  I don’t do this as part of a weight loss program, though.  I just like to swim.  The relaxing hot tub and shower afterwards are part of the reason I go.  And I also use it as a bit of a reward – I allow myself an extra 500 calories if I want to eat them.  And I am usually pretty hungry after exercising.  It’s a great setup, I get to feel like I am doing a splurge and it is part of the plan and feels good.   Today I took out some of my extra calories in chocolate.  

Look Ma, no plate!

Are you thinking, “Oh, no!  Won’t those carbohydrates keep you fat?”  Just remember that I am not on a diet.  I am not restricted in what foods I can eat or when I can eat them.  There is a bit of restraint involved in how much I can eat at one time or in one day. 

There is a daily goal – I try to stay under 1800 calories.  On an exercise day I can go up to 1800 + 500 or 2300 total.   So on a normal day, the choice may be chocolate bar OR breakfast.  But on my exercise splurge day, it’s chocolate bar AND breakfast, and more too.  That chocolate bar is 220 calories.  I broke it into 12 pieces and I took the time to enjoy it.  Reward!

My daily food intake and calorie count are:

Breakfast – 2 x BLT wraps (200) 

  • 400 calories

Lunch – 2 x Costco pepperoni pizza slices (355)

  • 710 calories

Dinner – 3 x Aldi pizza slices (100), chicken and hummus wrap (200).

  • 500 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80), beef jerky (90), Hershey bar (220)

  • 390 calories

Total for the day: 2100 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming)

I  have promised myself not to be too rigid about the daily goal.  If I get hungry, I will eat a snack.  Beef jerky usually does the trick if I have hunger pangs.  If I need something sweet, the pre-wrapped Nestle Li’l Drums ice cream cones are only 110 calories (or 120, depending on the flavor). 

I don’t want to fall into a willpower battle with myself.  I want to eat just enough so I can be hungry in time for the next meal, which has to be something worth being hungry for.  That’s why I eat chocolate, bread, and other carbs sometimes.  I am really looking forward to breakfast.  You’ll see, tomorrow, why it was worth waiting for.  

20190411 Report

I am very sleep deprived today.  The kids took forever to fall asleep and the Toddler of Things was forever getting out of bed.  However, it was a good day for weight loss.  Notice that I am reporting my food journal every day.  It is part of my commitment to a new lifestyle.  I am not dieting just until I reach the goal of 205 pounds.  I am on a weight control lifestyle, for the rest of my life.  I have accepted being thin as an important value, and I have found a way to make it meaningful and celebrate it as something worthwhile.  I accept that everyone struggles with their weight (in a society where food is super abundant) and I am no different.  Nobody healthy is naturally thin.  They all have to work at it.  If they can do it, I can!

Another key commitment is to pay a lot of attention to my eating.  It follows from my moral transformation.  Since being thin is high on my list of values now, and for the rest of my life, I commit to putting in the time, care, and attention to making it work.  I have put a lot of time into understanding myself: what I crave, when I am hungry, my little preferences and habits.  What foods work for me.  What I am willing to sacrifice to be successful. 

Some sacrifice!  That’s about one serving of bread, by the way (2 oz).  Talking of sacrifice, here is my daily intake and calorie count.

Breakfast – BLT wrap (200) and fried chicken piece (300)

  • 500 calories

Lunch – homemade chicken enchilada with sour cream (200), chicken wraps with hummus (300)

  • 500 calories

Dinner – Homemade sausage chili (300), brussels sprouts (30), bread and wine (170).

  • 500 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80), beef jerky (90), Nestle Lil Drums ice cream cone (120)

  • 290 calories

Total for the day: 1790 calories (limit 1800)

It was a pretty good weight loss day.  I was hungry for all my meals, and was only hungry for a snack around 3-4PM.  I ate the same things my family did for dinner.  My aim is to be a person able to lose weight and keep it off.  My goal is to be hungry for every meal, but not between meals.   I have a purpose and a way to get there.  The struggle to pay attention is all the willpower I need.

-The Doctor

20190410 Report

Last night, I stayed up way, way too late.  It was my own fault, I was busy until late doing some personal financial management.  I may do a series of posts on that too, sometime.  I am a Doctor of Things, after all. 

Today I woke up very, very hungry.  That often happens after an exercise day, and I was a few hundred calories short of my budget yesterday, too.  But it’s Wednesday, and that means Gyro sandwich for lunch day!  I look forward to that all week.  Remember, my diet strategy is to want to be hungry because the upcoming meal is going to be so good.  The Big Greek Cafe near me has a $5 Gyro deal.  Behold my diet food:

The Gryo in its natural habitat

You are seeing 600 calories of hot, yummy gyro with sauce, cheese cube and pepperoncini.  Notice on my diet, I am not restricted in what foods I can eat. 

That is great because I can eat the same things the family does, just a regulated portion of them.  I was reading about keto today, and people were definitely missing their favorite foods.  Too much willpower required for me!  I would definitely be concerned that about eating that way for the rest of my life.  I am trying to make a lifestyle I can joyfully adopt, which improves my appearance.  Wouldn’t you be happy about this lunch? 

Notice that I didn’t get any fries or dessert.  But my stomach is really happy to be on this diet.  I love how with a mental transformation, I have sidestepped the willpower problem: with food like this, what willpower do I need?

My daily food intake and calorie count:

Breakfast – Bratwurst wraps (2 x 300)

  • 600 calories

Lunch – $5 gyro from the Big Greek Cafe (600)

  • 600 calories

Dinner – Spaghetti (200), meatballs (230)

  • 430 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80)

80 calories

Total for the day: 1710 calories (limit 1800)

Now that I have my Costco flatbreads back in stock (110 calories each), my bratwurst sandwiches are down to 300 calories each (1/4 flatbread at 28 calories, 1 sausage at 260 calories, horseradish sauce for the rest).  I don’t count the fried onions.  Onions are basically crunchy water. 

I had the same spaghetti and Costco meatballs for dinner as my family – and just about the same amount as the kids.  Please, remind me sometime to do a post about my system for portioning! 

After such a rich set of meals, I am really thankful that I have discovered a way to keep myself so happy while depriving myself of at least 800 calories per day (I should be burning 2500 per day for an average male, per the USDA).  Well, the calorie burn total is a little more complicated than that, but I’ll go into that another time.  The point is, I don’t feel deprived and I hope I keep listening to myself.  

-The Doctor

20190409 Report

Last night, I had a full night’s sleep and was not inundated by any children in the small hours!  I find that bad sleep is a risk factor for overeating.  It’s harder to pay attention, and also eating food seems to take away some sleepiness, so it’s doubly tempting.  I always track my sleep quality along with my food and calorie intake.  And it was a good day – I went swimming.  

Exercise is tricky for many dieters.  Many people have lost a lot of weight and kept it off by dieting alone.  Very few the other way around.  But I like swimming and always have.  Going is not a struggle, I like being in the water and I enjoy the exercise.  I burned off 600 calories (I will explain that calculation later) and I added 500 calories to my food budget for the day.  It’s win-win; I get to swim, which I like, and I am down another 100 calories on the day.  And I don’t feel like swimming is punishment because I’m not hungry afterwards – I let myself have most of the calories back that day.  

I have noticed now that I have lost 40 pounds that swimming is easier.  My times are a little faster and I don’t get sore legs and hands like I did while at my most overweight (325 pounds).  What will it be like when I have lost 60, 80, or 100 pounds?  It’s hard to imagine, since I have been heavy for so long (8-10 years over 300 pounds).  

  • My daily food intake and calorie count:

Breakfast – Jimmy Dean breakfast croissantwich (sausage and egg) (400)

  • 400 calories

Lunch – BLT sandwich (330), bratwurst sandwich (340)

  • 670 calories

Dinner – Costco pepperoni pizza (710)

  • 710 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80), beef jerky (180)

  • 260 calories

Total for the day: 2040 calories (limit 1800 + 500 from swimming = 2300).

Yes, I made it to Costco today.  I have my flatbreads and those are very low calorie.  I am happy about using them tomorrow.  Looking forward to what I am going to eat tomorrow, is what gives me the ability to say “no” to more today.  It’s amazing to get so much fulfillment and satisfaction out of eating less!  

-The Doctor

20190408 Report

I had another night of interrupted sleep last night – invaded by two children at different times.  However, my total food intake was great and I had prepared wonderful meals to keep me going all day.  Here’s my food intake from today:

Breakfast – Bratwurst wrap (340)

  • 340 calories

Lunch – 2 homemade chicken enchiladas (500)

  • 500 calories

Dinner – Sausage chili,  (350) egg noodles (220), and peas (30)

  • 600 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80), Nestle Li’l Buddies vanilla (110)

190 calories

Total for the day: 1630 calories (limit 1800)

I started off with a Johnsonville bratwurst sandwich.  Each brat is 260 calories.  Usually I have it on a small square of flatbread for 40 calories extra, but today I only had sandwich bread.  It’s so easy to have brats prepared ahead of time.  I just cook a pack of five in my cast iron skillet in the oven (with a whole diced onion) at 400 degrees, then just keep them in the fridge until needed.  

My lunch enchiladas were left over from last night.  Enchiladas are great because you just count up all the calories you put in the dish and divide by the number of enchiladas.  Portioning made simple!  Notice I do round the numbers a bit, but I always round up.  

Homemade sausage chili is also really meaty and satisfying.  My goal as always was to be hungry (but not too hungry) and be really looking forward to the meal.  It was worth the wait and I got noodles and peas too.  With chili you have to use a liquid measure (if you made 8 cups of chili, a one-cup serving has one-eighth of the total calories) but noodles are easy.  I just weigh them.  2 ounces of noodles dry equals 4 ounces cooked.  

How do I keep from eating more at night?

Eating at night is my kryptonite.  If I am going to lose control, it’s between dinner and bedtime.  BUT I have learned, by observing and negotiating with myself, a way forward.  If I am really looking forward to breakfast, I am willing to sacrifice snacking to get my reward in the morning.  A Jimmy Dean sausage and egg croissant sandwich sounds really, really good…..maybe with hot sauce (no calories extra!)

Notice I didn’t eat near my limit of 1800 calories tonight.  I don’t feel hungry and I don’t need to eat to the limit today.  

I have found a great balance.  I’m not hungry now, but I will be in time for breakfast.  I am willing to put up with eating a small portion of chili tonight because feeling hungry in the morning is a wonderful way to start the day.  When I have binged at night, I always notice how bad I felt in the morning.  Now I get to feel good, both because I am anticipating a great breakfast and because I am listening to myself and working with myself to achieve a lifetime goal.  I am on a journey to lose 120 pounds and everything is coming together for me.  

-The Doctor

20190407 Report

Not a good sleep last night – lots of kids waking up and invading the parental bed.  Late bedtime, too (my fault).  I overshot my calorie goal, as I usually do when really tired.  I’ve read the theory that food can substitute for sleep, and it is more tempting then. 

My daily food intake and calorie count:

Breakfast – pizza slices (300 cal), chocolate almonds (160), 1 slice bacon (70)

  • 530 calories

Lunch – BLT wraps (300), fried chicken piece (300)

  • 600 calories

Dinner – Homemade chicken enchiladas (550)

  • 550 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80), ad hoc wraps (200)

  • 280 calories

Total for the day: 1960 calories (limit 1800)

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