Maintain a healthy weight

20190601 Saturday weigh-in

Every week, I weigh myself.  Barring illness, I plan to do this for as long as I plan to stay in control of my weight (forever).  It’s part of the price I am going to pay to get thin and stay that way.  For a long time, I felt like I shouldn’t have to worry about maintaining my weight – like it should happen by itself.  Then I realized that everybody who stays thin keeps track of their weight, one way or another.  Most people weigh themselves, but others use different systems – like, the way their clothes fit.  I use a scale.  

The trend is down.

Since starting my diet in January, I have lost: 

Pounds!!
0

Forgiveness and progress

I wasn’t happy about this number (270) at first.  Until now, I was on a very consistent and successful trajectory, with an all-but unbroken record of successful weight loss for five months.  Then I lost it last week due to illness, and then indulging in eating a lot more than usual.  Part of me says I would be below 270 pounds right now, if I had stayed on my eating plan.  A better thought is, this weight is the lowest I have achieved so far, and it is an improvement from the last time I got on the scale.  Being angry with myself would be counterproductive.  Even worse would be punishing myself.  Forgiving myself and keeping my vision on the future is the only way to keep going.  I am happy that I weigh less than before!

The mental model I am using is that inside of me there are different levels of being, or aspects of my consciousness, each with different desires.  I need to come up with a way of living that is attractive to most of them, that allows me to lose weight, and then keep myself on it.  (I have tried to force myself to diet in the past and it has not worked.  The different parts of my mind rebel against that.)  Everybody seems to be on board with my current plan, though.  But sometimes I need to focus on the future more. 

Rewards help me focus.  My priority now is to come up with three rewards: getting under 270 pounds, getting under 265 (my halfway point of losing 120 pounds), and getting under 260 pounds.  I haven’t really done that and it has been a struggle this last several weeks to keep focused.  I will think about it.  

-The Doctor

20190518 Saturday weigh-in

There are two parts to the Doctor’s system for weight control.  The first is to weigh yourself weekly.  If you don’t know what you weigh, you are not in control!  Sometimes getting on the scale is hard.  When you are 120 pounds overweight, it’s hard to be sure you have lost weight.  Can you trust your body?  Maybe you think you did all the right things and paid attention to how much you were eating.  Can you trust yourself?  Will your body reflect what you did, or think you did?  The Doctor thinks it takes a long time to start to trust yourself again, when you have that much weight to lose.  But so far…

Caption

…everything has gone according to the reality that I have recorded in my food journal and calorie counts.  Hooray!  This means I have lost:

Pounds!!!
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Changes have started to happen

I have been living my new life of weight control (and finding new meaning and enjoyment in it) since January.  Doing this has been enjoyable and not as much of a struggle as you would think, thanks to the changes I have made to my thinking.  But things happen so slowly when you are paying this much attention!  It wasn’t until late April (more than 40 pounds lost) that my clothes really started to fit differently.  I can’t find any tool that lets you plug in your height and weight and get a waist size, and I have no idea what my waist size will be when I weigh, say, 205 pounds.  

I started in January in size 52 pants and 52/54 belt.  Now I am wearing size 50 pants and a 48 belt.  A bit confusing, but it’s probably specific to my body.  As I lose more, things will change.  I am really looking forward to breaking into the 30s (waist size).  Only 12 sizes to go!  According to the “roll of paper towels” model of body shape, as the roll of paper towels gets smaller, each sheet taken off has a bigger and bigger effect.  It’s a good model, based on volume to surface area.  Anyway, I don’t want to get too far into fantasy land.  There is a here and now to deal with.  What I am doing is working.  

Also, the Doctor was thinking about the bariatric or lap band surgery some people get for weight loss.  How would that fit into the Doctor’s weight control program?  If a person’s eating goal is to be full, well then, the lap band surgery will make it easier to feel full.  You wouldn’t have to change a thing about your thinking!  (The lengths we go to, just to avoid changing the way we think.)  Much easier and better to change your thinking.  Having hunger as my eating goal is working for me.  Surgery not required! 

The Doctor’s system also works for when the weight is lost and the new body needs to be maintained.  The Doctor’s system of self knowledge and a focus on being hungry at the right time means you can keep off the weight (as long as you pay attention).  If you relied on your stomach telling you it was full, with a lap band, then watch out!  When the lap band is removed, your eating goal will remain the same and you may gain back weight.  Stick with self knowledge and focus on hunger.  It works!

-The Doctor

20190504 Saturday weigh-in

It’s Saturday!  Saturday is the day I have set aside for my weight monitoring.  There are two parts to controlling your weight: (1) monitor your weight and (2) regulate your food intake.  Some people do like to weight themselves every day.  My grandfather did.  For me, once a week is enough. 

It’s been a troublesome few weeks.  I haven’t been feeling well and my weight was up and down.  But I am feeling much better now.  Things are back to normal.  Last week, I weighed 278.8 pounds (though that was a bit complicated).  So when I stepped on the scale this morning…

I like when the number goes down

That’s an improvement over last week!  So for all my worrying, I was still moving in the right direction.  I have had more drastic weeks of weight loss, but this means since beginning my new lifestyle I have lost:

Pounds!!!
0

That’s a big difference.  I still have a long way to go, but steady progress is good.  It means that my system of weight control is working.  Remember, I don’t consider myself on a diet.  I have made changes to my life and rearranged my hierarchy of values, and my goal is weight control, not weight loss.  I don’t know exactly what my stopping point will be, but according to the US Army, which knows something about physical fitness, there is a range.  Their range for men my height is 148-214 pounds.  Where will I fall?  I have no idea yet, but 205 is a good guess.  

This brings us to the issue of pants size and clothing fit, as I lose weight.  Friendly observers (Mom) have told me that my clothes are starting to look inappropriately loose and baggy.  It took a long time, though.  The size 52 pants I was wearing must have been at their upper limit.  I tried some size 50 pants I had in storage, with mixed results.  Those with stretchy comfort panels fit.  Ordinary pants (no stretch panels) did fit, but showed body contours under the fabric.  So I am staying out of those.  But in my closet I have pants all the way back down to 46, for when I need them.  I also have some shirts in storage that used to fit.  Maybe they do, now.  

How will I fit into clothes as I shrink from now on?  Losing 120 pounds in one year, you would expect I won’t fit anything for very long.  It took me losing almost 50 pounds to go from size 52 to 50.  But during the next 70 pounds, I will probably drop a few sizes.  There is also in my mind the idea that after I shift to weight maintenance, my body will keep changing for a while anyway.  120 pounds is a drastic amount to lose.  It might be another year before all the changes work out of my system.  

Anyway, that’s fine as fantasy.  The reality is, I still have 71 pounds to go.  When I get half way (60 pounds lost, 60 to go) I will have to think of a special reward.  Hmmmmm.

-The Doctor

20190427 Saturday weigh-in

Every Saturday is weigh-in day.  I have committed to this behavior, for as long as I want to be in control of my weight.  (The rest of my life.)  My other directive is to regulate my food intake, which includes a lot more work.  Weighing should be easy – you get on the scale, you get off, once per week.  But it is (right now) the harder job.  While I’ve been ill, my body has felt out of control.  It doesn’t feel like I have been eating too much, but I don’t feel the immediate connection between my mind and body that I have enjoyed so much since January.  However, there’s good news, which is I have started to feel better.  Hopefully this coming week will find me back on course.  So how was my weigh-in?  

That’s better.  My weight is moving back in the desired direction.  I wasn’t sure what would happen today, when I stepped on the scale!  

This matches my weight from April 14, two weeks ago.  So did I lose two weeks?  It sure feels that way.  To control my weight, I make a sacrifice.  I give up one future – the one where I eat as much of everything as I like, for whatever joy that gives.  (It’s a shallow pleasure, but one I am used to.)  I replace it with another future – one where I am in control of my weight.  At this moment, it looks like I lost out on both futures. Part of me is unhappy because I only ate controlled amounts of food.  That’s the part of me that sacrificed the future where I was full.  Another part of me is mad about not losing weight.  That’s the future where I was in control of my eating.  Maybe I wasn’t in control, after all.

This is temptation to give up on your diet, when things get tough.  Parts of you are pressuring you to quit.  You’re giving up too much and getting nothing in return.  But don’t panic.  Don’t make a hasty decision.  Think about it, and give it some time.  In my case, I haven’t been well, and I know my body and mind haven’t been working together.  I can feel it.  I’ve been complaining about it in my posts since last week.  I’ve lost a lot of weight this way, and getting sick (according to my records) has always thrown off the diet.  I will concentrate this week on getting well, and making sure as many parts of me as possible are invested in the goal.  

The goal is not to lose weight, nor to reach a certain weight.  That’s not enough, if you want to keep the weight off.  Your goal has to be, to become a person who is in control of their weight.  In that future, you have the self knowledge to keep the weight off.  You keep weighing yourself and watching what you eat.  The way you can tell you are in control of your weight, is that you will lose when you want to and stay the same if you want to and gain if you want to.  Things are rough for me right now – when I haven’t been well, I haven’t been in control.  Here’s to getting back on top of it.

On a side note, I noticed in my food journal that for the last two weeks I haven’t eaten any bacon!  I am as shocked as you are.  That’s probably why I didn’t lose weight, haha.  I fixed that today – bacon for breakfast.  

-The Doctor

20190420 Saturday weigh-in

Hello, everyone.  I weigh myself once per week – on Saturday mornings – and keep track of the results.  It’s part of my program to be in control of my weight.  I have committed to a lifetime of keeping up two patterns I have observed in people who are in control of their bodies.  Thin people (1) monitor their weight frequently and (2) control their food intake carefully.  To monitor my weight once per week is the culmination of a week of careful control of my eating.  I have been weighing myself since January 1, 2019, when I was 325 pounds.  Last Saturday, I was 282.4 pounds.  How did I do this week?

Not as well.  In fact, I weighed 286.4 pounds at noon today.  That’s backsliding a little. You may be wondering, where is the customary picture I take standing on the scale?  There isn’t going to be one.  As Mark Twain said, in the battle-galleries of Versailles there are no paintings of French defeats, only victories.  I am the same.  I will admit the truth of what I weigh, but I only take pictures of the victories. 

So what happened this week?   Did I really gain 4 pounds??  My records of food intake for the week show that I was in calorie deficit and didn’t exceed an average of 1900 calories per day.  Per the USDA, a man my age needs 2500 calories per day to maintain his weight (there is lots of arguing about the exact number, I suppose it depends on the person).  My food intake was not steady – some meals were skipped, some meals were large, and my stomach seemed a beat or two behind.  I had some kind of stomach upset or illness all week.  It’s tempting to say that my gain was due to illness, and possible fluid retention.  Using that theory I don’t really know what my weight is this week.  The last time I had the flu (February) I didn’t bother weighing myself until I was better, so I don’t know what to expect. 

I noticed that I was falling into old patterns this week, too.  (Saturday is the day I reflect on my week and try to notice and figure out any problems.)  I noticed I was eating too quickly, not paying attention when I was eating, and sometimes letting myself get too hungry and desperate.  It didn’t feel in control.  When I put myself in control, it produces certain feelings, and a sense of satisfaction.  The satisfaction comes from working with different parts of my being aligned in a common purpose.  That produces a strong sense of meaning and adds a richness to the experience.  As I’ve tried to make clear from my pictures and descriptions, being on this diet is a wonderful experience.  I don’t spend any willpower starving myself.  I eat all the foods I like.  There is a trade-off, but I am willing to make it.  The trade is that it takes a lot of time and attention to make this work.  That takes some willpower.  Paying attention is hard.  

Making that trade is hard: you have to decide that you value your appearance and control of your body higher than almost anything else.  It becomes a hobby that you devote a lot of time to.  How much time?   At least an hour a day.  Is it worth it?  Oh, yes.

-The Doctor

20190413 Saturday weigh-in

Hello, everybody.  I have committed to a weekly weigh-in as part of my new lifestyle. 

That’s what thin people do.  They all  (1) monitor their weight and (2) monitor their food intake.  Be careful!  It’s so easy to fall back into your old life and old life, when you ignored your weight gain and didn’t monitor your food intake.  Keep going!  I plan to do this for as long as I plan to be thin.  That is, for the rest of my life.  Being in control of my weight is a value I have adopted right at the top of who I am – the new me.  

So how is the new me doing, monitoring my weight?  Last week I was 285.4 pounds.

A lower number than before

I need to be very consistent with my weighing.  I usually weigh-in once per week, on Saturday, before breakfast.  Today, I forgot.  I ate breakfast first!  So I waited to weigh until just before lunch.  I have no way of knowing how that changes things, so I don’t want to repeat that mistake next week.  But this means I have probably lost:

Pounds!!!
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This week I had the recurrence of another old problem.  The weight measured by my scale fluctuated as I got off and on again.  My rule is, the first time I get on the scale is my weight.  So I stopped worrying about it.  My family also did their weigh-in today.  It’s as habit I plan to inculcate into our routine.  Every Saturday morning!  Later, we can take a family walk.  We will all learn together how to control each person’s weight.  

The weekly weigh-in is a time to take stock of my progress.  How am I doing?  It was a good week.  However, it still feels very slow.  I have lost weight, but I am still more than 70 pounds overweight.  That means I am still in large clothes and the differences I see in the mirror are still subtle.  Still, there is progress.  My rate of weight loss is still high.  I am on-track to lose all my extra weight by the end of the year.  It’s been a long time since I was normal weight.  What will that be like?  Will I make it?  What will my final weight be? 

It will also be a strange transition.  I will go from being in serious deficit (1800 calories per day), and raising my intake to about 2500 calories per day.  What will that do to my food intake plan?  It’s carefully balanced for losing weight.  Will I be able to let go and negotiate a new plan with myself?  

For now, I’d better stick to losing weight.  I’ve got some idea of what to do and how to do it.  The rest I will have to construct later.

-The Doctor

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