Paying attention

20190514 Daily report

There are two parts to controlling your weight – no, not diet and exercise!  I mean, of course, (1) monitoring your weight at least weekly, and (2) regulating your food intake.  This daily post represents #2 – an online food journal and an expression of my thoughts as I go through this quest to lose 120 pounds.  Part of regulating your intake is to keep a total and honest accounting of everything you eat. 

My own take on this was to change my thinking and my food goals.  Instead the typical food goal – eating until I was full – I have decided that my goal is to wait until I am hungry, then eat just enough of a food that I am really looking forward to.  It really raises the eating experience to a new level.  Your food gets really exciting when you are hungry for it. 

This stir-fried chicken is going to taste sooooo good!

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – Jimmy Dean sausage egg and cheese croissantwich (400);

mid morning waffle pieces and ham (150)

  • 550 calories

Lunch – BLT wraps (400)

  • 400 calories 

Dinner – sesame chicken with broccoli and peppers (400); rice (160)

  • 560 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); 1 ounce of Sarris peanut butter meltaway egg (110)

  • 190 calories

Total for the day: 1700 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

The importance of hunger when it is your goal

Today was a swimming day.  I was pleasantly surprised that my swim times were excellent.  I’m not sure why, but the pool was crowded today.  I shared a lane with an elderly but spry man wearing flippers, and he was pretty fast in them.  He had a cane up at the end of the lane, so I thought he was going to be slow.  Wrong!  But I didn’t do badly either.  Tuesday seems like a strange day for a crowded pool.  I can’t figure that one out.

I am rediscovering the importance of hunger as a goal, and food as a reward for hunger.  This last few weeks, I have noticed that I have started grazing around and eating between meals.  It’s all within the calorie limits, I think (it’s hard to keep track of grazing a few pretzels or chips, so I estimate).  But it means I am not really hungry for meals, and my mealtimes drift around a bit.  It’s all very unsatisfying.  Today, even though I was being more careful, I was hungry around 10AM and snacked.  Lunchtime (11.30) came and went, and I wasn’t hungry.  I was determined to wait, and around 12.30 I got hungry after all.  Then my BLT tasted great!  

After swimming, I was sure I would be hungry, but I wasn’t.  I finished my work and made dinner.  I only really got hungry just before eating at 5.30 – perfect.  I enjoyed my stir-fry a lot.  Later that evening, dessert started to sound good, so I rewarded myself with some peanut butter egg from Easter.    Just the right amount – one ounce.  I am sure I will be hungry for breakfast.   What will it be?  What will be worth waking up for?   

It is so important to keep your food goal in focus.  If your goal is to be hungry before you eat, you must make sure you are hungry before you eat.  That means not spoiling your hunger with shacks or appetizers.  That means eating just enough.  Those first few bites when you are seriously hungry are wonderful and soon you look forward to that experience.  It’s a much more fulfilling way to live.  Eating until you are full becomes boring, pale, unexciting, by comparison.  But if you are going to use hunger as your goal – and it has a lot of benefits for weight control – you must keep your hunger sharp!  

-The Doctor

20190513 Daily report

Every day, The Doctor keeps a food journal and calorie count.  It’s the only way to be sure that you are in control of how much you eat.  Who remembers what they wore last week?  What the weather was?  What you had for breakfast yesterday?  The act of measuring helps bring your intake under control.  The Doctor also weighs himself every week.  That keeps the food journal honest.  Once you have self knowledge, you learn how much you can eat in a week and still lose weight.  The proof your food intake is under control is the scale. 

Much better than pre-cooked bacon

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 4 x bacon strips (70); corn chips (200)

  • 480 calories

Lunch – Meatball and hummus wraps (250); pretzels (100)

  • 600 calories 

Dinner – spaghetti and meatballs (500); 

  • 500 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); Nestle Lil Drums chocolate cone (120)

  • 200 calories

Total for the day: 1780 calories (limit 1800)

It's all in your mind. Change your mind.

Dieting as a mental process is so challenging.  When your eating goal is to be full, every bite you don’t take is a deprivation.  You have to fight against your eating goal all the time.  (100% of the time, your mind is telling you, eat, I’m not full!).  With that eating goal, dieting is a punishment and a trial that never ends.  When people on a diet say they’re tired of being hungry, I think that’s what they mean.  They are tired of not being full.  Their brain and their being have accepted the goal – being full is the highest good!  The only source of satisfaction and happiness! 

The diet forums are full of people trying to stay strong, and I applaud them when they succeed.  But the Doctor started his system of weight control (not dieting) because it was important that the system was comprehensive.  There’s no way I was going to lose 120 pounds and have any chance of it coming back again.  I decided my mind had to change.  I had to let go of my old life and my old being, and reorder not just my goals but my values hierarchy.  On top now, was being a person who could successfully control his weight.  My old values got pushed down a few notches.  They are still there.  But they are not allowed to interfere with my new highest good, having my weight under control.  

That is one side.  But this is a complex problem.  Another challenge was to reformulate my eating goal.  I chose hunger as my goal.  I don’t mean what other people mean, when I say hunger.  As I said above, when your eating goal is to be full, anything less than that feels hungry, feels like deprivation.  When I say hungry, I mean the gripping hunger that comes from having an empty stomach and digestive tract.  

Food just tastes better when you are hungry for it and also looking forward to it.  I found I was not hungry between meals (using my narrow definition of hungry).  But I was hungry at mealtime.  

Today, I had trouble keeping my focus.  The old goal kept swimming into view.  I wasn’t hungry and still wanted to eat, to graze, to feel full and satisfied.  I didn’t give in (much), but it was distracting.  I decided I was missing something.  What was it?

It was a goal and a reward.  Every 10 pounds lost, I have rewarded myself and recognized the achievement.  That pulled me forward.  I haven’t done that this time!  And I am already approaching the next 10 pounds lost.  I had better pick a reward soon, so I can see my path clear.  Every bit helps!  

-The Doctor

20190512 Daily report

Hello.  As part of my (so far successful) system of weight control, I regulate my food intake.  I do that by keeping a food journal (a log of everything I eat) and I keep the system going by changing the way I was thinking about food.  I encourage myself and keep things interesting with a system of rewards.  And I find deeper meaning in my new life.  It is more satisfying, my food goals are more refined, and the feeling of control is a benefit and a motivator.  Part of the control is food portioning.  

A portion for lunch tomorrow

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – BLT wraps (400); pre cooked bacon pieces (100); waffle pieces (100)

  • 600 calories

Lunch – homemade chili and noodles (400)

  • 400 calories 

Dinner – Moroccan lamb ragout with rice (500)

  • 500 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); fresh berries (200)

  • 280 calories

Total for the day: 1780 calories (limit 1800)

Anticipation

Today was Mother’s day. For dinner I made a Moroccan lamb ragout.  But I got started a bit late and it wasn’t ready until after 6PM.  Starting at 5, I had a few berries left over from the breakfast extravaganza.  Then a few more and a few more.  I have no idea how many I actually ate (much less than a cup), but when dinner was finally ready I wasn’t really hungry any more.  I lost my hunger/anticipation!  And the Moroccan lamb is one of my favorite lamb meals.  So that was a little disappointing.  On the other hand, I did eat some lovely berries.  

The leftover lamb was packed away for lunches and another dinner.  Maybe next time, I won’t ruin my preparations for enjoying it!  

Back to bacon.  I’ve now tried three kinds of pre cooked bacon, and there’s only one thing to say: precooked bacon is not as good as freshly cooked.   It’s like an echo of real bacon, and only good enough as a substitute for a short time.  This summer, I’m going to switch to another breakfast food!  Shocking, I know.  There will still be a place for bacon, somewhere.  I hear there is a chocolate covered bacon.  

-The Doctor

20190510 Daily report

Every day, I control my food intake.  Part of that is keeping track of the food I eat (and calories therein).  It’s an online food journal, really.  I mostly use nutrition information on the food packages to figure out how many calories I am having.  My other tools include the internet, measuring cups and spoons, and my kitchen scale. 

Whatever I am doing, it is starting to have an effect.  I was reading on Reddit /loseit the idea of the person as a roll of paper towels.  If you have a full roll of paper towels and take 10 off, you hardly notice.  But if you have a roll that is mostly empty, taking off 10 sheets really makes it shrink.  I am at the full roll side of things right now.  But my pants and belts don’t fit any more.  Things may start changing faster as my roll gets unwound.  

My coverlet is actually green. It's not easy being green.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 2 x pre-cooked bacon BLT wraps (200); Aldi mini apple pie (210)

  • 610 calories

Lunch – Homemade sausage chili and noodles (500); 26 grams of chocolate (140)

  • 640 calories 

Dinner – 3 x pizza slices (170); baked chicken piece (200)

  • 700 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); cookies (130)

  • 210 calories

Total for the day: 2080 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

Keep on a diet by eating what you really, really want (when you most need it)

On the subject of bacon, I am getting some important research done.  I have been oven frying bacon, which is a great way to cook it, but as the weather gets warmer it will become impractical.  But they do sell pre cooked bacon, so I decided to try it.  I bought three kinds so far – Oscar Mayer (which makes a decent regular bacon); Boar’s Head (which makes very good regular bacon), and Costco (which makes fabulous regular bacon).  If pre-cooked bacon is going to work out, I want to figure out my favorites now, before the summer heat comes.  Today when I got hungry for breakfast I pulled out the Oscar Mayer and gave it a try.  

It was disappointing; too mild and lacked flavor.  My BLT wraps were way out of balance, even though I used 4 slices of bacon per wrap.  They were more lettuce and tomato wraps.  That can’t be my regular bacon.  I have been putting myself in calorie deficit and trying to encourage hunger at appropriate times.  The last thing I want after that effort and sacrifice is to have disappointing bacon.  But no worries.  I still have two others to try, and from the better bacon makers.  

People may ask how I can eat bacon while trying to lose weight.  The answer is, I can fit it into my calorie plan.  But it has to be really, really good bacon.  It has to be worth getting hungry for and really satisfying to eat a few slices of it.  Each slice of my favorite bacon is 70 calories.  I am allowing myself 1800 calories per day (more if I exercise).  Expressed in bacon, that’s nearly 26 slices.  That would be a bacon bacon bacon day.  I may try it some day, but for right now I like my BLT wrap.  It is satisfying and very tasty and keeps me happy until lunchtime.  Today, it was sad and disappointing and I needed apple pie.  Tomorrow may be a better bacon day.

-The Doctor

20190509 Daily report

The method I use to control my weight is simple and has two parts.  (1) Monitor your weight every week and (2) regulate your food intake.  Part of the regulation is a complete and honest recording of everything I eat (there are a few exceptions).  It’s amazing what has calories and what has more than you’d think.  Anyway, after four solid months of dieting, my clothes have started to not fit in uncomfortable ways.  I had to say goodbye to all my size 52 pants this week.  It was harder than you think, to let go.  It’s part of becoming a new person, after all, and that is always a little scary.  

I'm sure there was a Simpsons episode about this, using blue pants.

My food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 3 x pizza slices (170)

  • 500 calories

Lunch – The Doctor’s famous ham, roasted Brussels sprout, and horseradish wraps (370)

  • 370 calories

Dinner – Homemade lentil soup (200); breaded baked chicken breast piece (150)

  • 350 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); 42 grams of chocolate (220); three Jaffa cakes (150); Nestle Li’l Drums ice cream cone (110)

  • 560 calories

Total for the day: 1780 calories (limit 1800)

Don't slack off

The Doctor was on Reddit today looking at the Loseit forum (an online weight loss group).  One thing I picked up quickly is that dieters are really dedicated to using their willpower, and are discovering real reserves of willpower in themselves, to force themselves to stay on their diet plans.  The Doctor is impressed with their strength.  There is no way The Doctor would last that long.  That’s why I have invented a new system that makes the weight loss program self reinforcing.  

So how does The Doctor keep motivated and keep dieting?  It’s hard to answer that in the way it is asked.  I am not using willpower to keep on the diet.  Instead, I have totally changed how I look at things, including food. 

In my old life, my goal when eating was to be full and to enjoy whatever comfort or satisfaction came with a full belly.  When I was thinking like that, dieting was almost impossible.  Every time I tried to diet by eating less, I was pushing against my need to be filled.  I had no satisfaction from eating things I didn’t want to eat, and didn’t even have the cheap satisfaction of feeling filled.  In no time, I would start rebelling against my diet and break it.  I wasn’t someone who could lose weight on purpose.  

Now, being thin is at the top of my moral hierarchy.  That might sound shallow, but I have a serious weight problem that needs care and attention.  Obsession is fully justified.)  Now my goal, when eating, is to be hungry when I sit down to eat.  It’s a more refined and powerful eating goal than eating until filled.  I could eat and eat for a long time before feeling full, when that was my goal.  The food tastes so different, and exciting, and fulfilling, when you are really hungry for it and are really looking forward to it.  Focusing on being hungry has several benefits.    

The beauty of focusing on being hungry is that I have to plan to be hungry for my next meal too, and the next, and the next.  So I play a game where I balance eating just enough to last me until my next meal.  Also, it can’t be so little food that I get hungry too early.  Being seriously hungry just in time to eat something really delicious, that I really want, is hugely satisfying.  It’s become a source of fulfillment to have that timing work out for every meal.  

The second benefit of focusing on my hunger regards overeating.  With my new goal of being hungry, I have noticed that only the first portion of food is really fulfilling.  And it really is amazing how good food tastes when you have been looking forward to it for a while and are super hungry also.  Taking a second helping, even of food you love, just doesn’t taste as good and doesn’t feel satisfying.  In consequence, it’s started to feel really distasteful to have a full belly.  It prevents fulfillment of my eating goal.

Embrace hunger!  It does have its downsides, though. I’ll talk about that later.  

-The Doctor

20190508 Daily report

Every day, I monitor my food intake and write the results in my online food journal.  I have been keeping the journal since January 1, 2019.  I plan to keep a journal documenting my food intake for the rest of my life, or, as long as I plan to stay in control of my weight.  After all, I am in the middle of losing 120 pounds.  Gaining it back again would be terrible.  That’s a problem many people have with losing weight.  Once they have gotten their weight down, they stop paying attention and drift back into their old lives that made them overweight.  And the same thing happens all over again.  No thanks.  Keeping a food journal seems like a small price to pay, to maintain all that success.  

Anyway, it’s Wednesday.  What is there to look forward to about Wednesdays?  

$5 gryo Wednesdays at Big Greek Cafe! I look forward to Wednesdays more than anyone I know.

My daily food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 2 x bratwurst wraps (290)

  • 580 calories

Lunch – BGC gyros (600)

  • 600 calories

Dinner – Homemade vegetable curry and rice (600)

  • 600 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80)

  • 80 calories

Total for the day: 1860 calories (limit 1800)

Weight control ideas from others

I may have gone a bit over today, calorie wise.  The important thing is to be honest about it.  I’m not sure why, but I was hungry when I got up, hungry before lunch (like 10AM), and then hungry for dinner at 4PM.  Maybe my exercise yesterday was more vigorous than I thought.

Today, I am reading an interesting article by a woman who lost 100 pounds and (last she wrote) had kept off the weight for 3 years.  She tried to do in one long post what I am trying to write a whole website about, but she has some fabulous ideas.  And she lost 100 pounds, so is worth listening to.  She also has a whole section about the challenges of keeping the weight off.

Alicia had been on several diets and successfully lost weight, but always gained it back.  She was determined to figure out how to keep the weight off and try again.  Her essay has several sections:

  1. Prepare yourself mentally
  2. Set a healthy goal
  3. Set a calorie limit 
  4. Count your calories
  5. Exercise
  6. Troubleshooting
  7. Maintenance

Some of her points are golden.  For #1, she talks about the need to change yourself, and calls for total honesty with yourself.  The Doctor approves.  Your life must change, you have to re-order the values you live by and adopt a new moral hierarchy.  If you are not honest about what is wrong about your old life, you are denying the need to change.  Success will be harder to achieve.  

Point #2 is also important.  She suggests using the middle of the BMI range as the target for your healthy weight.  She points out you can always change it later, if that doesn’t suit you.  That’s great advice.  The question of what weight I am aiming for has been a puzzle to me.  I half jokingly suggested my goal was to fit into size 38 pants.  Knowing from her point #1, with honesty, where you are, and from #2 a clear goal where you are going, orients you in the direction you want.

#3 and #4 are related.  The Doctor’s calorie limit is about 1800 per day, though I will have more if I have exercised or if I really, really want to.  Alicia is a lady, so her calorie limit is about 1200 per day.  Women tend to have a lower burn rate then men.  Even so, 1200 per day sounds pretty rigorous.  The Doctor would have to be on 1500 calories per day to match her in proportion.  She also makes the excellent point that the food you eat can be anything, so long as you are honest about the calories involved.  Want an 1100-calorie burrito?  No problem, get it, but cut it in half.  Eat the other half tomorrow.  Alicia also talks about finding foods that keep her satisfied for long periods.  That’s important self knowledge.  

Regarding exercise (#5), The Doctor doesn’t have much to say.  Alicia is quite active and runs marathons.  The Doctor knows that kind of thing isn’t necessary to lose weight, but there are a lot of people who find the activity challenging and get meaning out of making themselves do it.

#6 Troubleshooting is filled with valuable tips.  The Doctor may come back to this section again someday. 
Briefly, you should eat foods you enjoy, be honest about what you are eating, not punish yourself for having a bad diet day, save up calories to spend on the holidays.  She also has tips for plateaus (where weight loss seems to halt for a time.)  

The Doctor agrees with all this.  Go Alicia!  I hope she is having success keeping the weight off, too.  I would like to discuss her maintenance tips some other time.

-The Doctor

20190507 Daily report

My goal for eating is to become hungry right at mealtimes.  That actually works, about 80% of the time.  Maybe 90%.  Breakfast is the meal that is trickiest to control.  Sometimes I am really hungry for it when I get up, and sometimes it’s an hour until my stomach wakes up.  And sometimes, strangely, I feel kind of hungry when I go to bed, but when I wake up hours later, I am not hungry at all for an hour.  There’s also the opposite problem, when I get hungry before mealtime.  It happened today – I was really looking forward to lunch at 11.00, though lunchtime is 11.30.  I was able to wait until 11.30 by putting a pizza in the oven at 11 – and then anticipating it.  By 11.30 it was ready to eat, and I was very hungry and full of anticipation.  

Worth waiting for?

My daily food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – Aldi mini apple pie (210); bratwurst wrap (290)

  • 500 calories

Lunch – 3 x Rising crust pizza slices (170)

  • 500 calories

Post swim snack – 1/2 piece homemade Tres Leches cake (300)

  • 300 calories

Dinner – homemade sausage chili and noodles (400).

  • 400 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); french toast (100); beef jerky (90)

  • 270 calories

Total for the day: 1970 calories (limit 1800 + 500 bonus from swimming, total 2300)

Listening to yourself

It’s important to accept the idea that there are different parts of you and they might be trying to tell you things.  If only we were willing to listen.  Last week I wasn’t able to swim on Friday – pool was closed unexpectedly.  I could have swum Monday, and had a wide open schedule.  But I kept finding reasons not to go.  Basically, I tortured myself for a good part of the day trying to make myself go swim.  Some part of me was resisting and resisting, so finally I gave in around 2PM.  Today, it was no problem.  I picked a time and went, and had a nice swim.  

So what was the part of me that was trying to make myself swim Monday?  A psychologist would call it my will.  “I will go swim, I order myself to do it!” 

“Perhaps later,” said some other part of me. 

Well, what was that part of me, saying no?  I haven’t given my hypothetical different parts names.  But it’s a part of me that can veto my will.  (Have you ever tried to force yourself to diet?  And found yourself breaking the diet some time later?  How can that happen?)  The trap there is to fall into the idea that you are weak and don’t have willpower.  But very few people can force themselves to do things they really don’t want to do, not for long.  And then you might get really disappointed in yourself, or angry and frustrated, and lose trust in yourself.  That’s not a fulfilling or meaningful way to live.  We must aim higher.   

The point of my system of weight control is that life is better this way.  It is not better because I am thinner.  Thin people aren’t better people.  Life is better because I am listening to myself and respecting these inner voices.  What are they telling me?  Figuring it out can be quite meaningful and interesting.  You are working to understand yourself.  That is respect for your own being.  I have found a way for every part of my body, mind, and spirit to work together.  It’s amazingly powerful.  

Disappointment, frustration, lack of trust in your own self – the opposite of meaning, fulfillment.  Don’t spend one more minute in that world.  Read my posts on how to start a diet and find more meaning in your life, and love and appreciation for your self.  I wouldn’t be doing this (and couldn’t be successful at it) any other way.  

-The Doctor

20190506 Daily report

I am a person who has been able to lose 49 pounds, at last count.  I didn’t used to be that person.  The man I used to be ate his way to 325 pounds, with no end in sight.  That man didn’t value being thin very highly, and didn’t value weight control hardly at all.  Looking back, this is an important reason why my attempts at dieting failed.  For that person, losing weight was a temporary condition dependent on willpower.  I clearly don’t have the kind of willpower needed to diet.  I have never successfully dieted before.  As for dieting unsuccessfully, I am something of an expert.  

Now, I am a different person.  I have been remade, and weight control is near the top of my list of values.  I have given up on low quality reasons for eating food, and am enjoying my life more than ever before.  

Two of these make for a high quality experience! All five is actually low quality.

My daily food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – 2 x BLT wraps (200)

  • 400 calories

Lunch – 2 x bratwurst wraps (290)

  • 580 calories

Dinner – Homemade vegetable curry and rice (450)

  • 450 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); pretzels (120); Nestle Li’l Drums chocolate ice cream cone (120)

  • 320 calories

Total for the day: 1750 calories (limit 1800)

How the same food can be high and low quality

I have been hitting hard the theme of weight control and its two parts: (1) monitor your weight and (2) regulate your food intake.  But if it were only so easy, everyone would be in control of their weight.  

Above, I mentioned the idea that I was living a better life now, while controlling my weight; than before, when I was eating whatever I felt like.  That’s partly because my food goals went from low quality to high quality.  There’s more fulfillment and satisfaction from a high quality experience, at least if you are starting from a low enough place.  My previous goal when eating was to eat until completely full, even stuffed full.  I convinced myself over many years that being full was an important goal.  I looked forward to it, planned for it.  Losing weight was a real deprivation, since being full was my only souce of satisfaction.

After much consideration, I decided the goal was wrong.  My eating goal now is to be hungry just in time for my next meal – seriously hungry.  That means I can’t overeat at any meal, or else I have two problems.  First problem, I won’t be truly hungry for my next meal.  Second, the food just won’t taste as rewarding.  Food tastes more appealing and is a more rewarding experience if you are hungry for it.  That’s why I am enjoying life more now – I get more sensual satisfaction from eating than I did before, even though I am in calorie deficit!  

The food I eat now is the same as when I was gaining weight, but I look at it differently now.  Now, my goal is to be really hungry for it and I reward myself with that food – but not too much of it.  That’s why I can eat two of the sausages above and still be appropriately hungry at dinner time.  If I eat all five, I won’t be truly hungry later.  An interesting effect of this change I have made to my thinking is that now being full feels a little distasteful now.  That helps keep me on the weight control plan, and is a benefit I hadn’t planned on when I started this.  Hooray!

-The Doctor

20190505 Daily report

I keep a food journal and monitor my food intake every day.  It’s a habit I intend to keep for the rest of my life.  That’s what people do who are in control of their body’s weight.  If they can do it, I can do it.  

A gray and rainy day today, calls for suitable comfort food.  Homemade lentil soup, with a baguette and cheese sandwich.  

My daily food intake and calorie count

Breakfast – Meatball and hummus wraps (500); pizza slice (100)

  • 600 calories

Lunch – Sloppy joe sandwich (360); Jaffa cake (50)

  • 410 calories

Dinner – Pretzels (100); Homemade lentil soup with baguette and cheese (500)

  • 600 calories

Snacking – tea with half and half (80); 33 grams of chocolate (175)

  • 255 calories

Total for the day: 1865 calories (limit 1800)

Over my limit today

Honesty is essential in my food journal.  If I don’t know what I’m eating, I am not in control.  I might start lying to myself, and lose touch with reality.  It’s always a danger.  Usually, I try to keep 50 calories under my limit, just to account for any forgetfulness, willing or unwilling.  Today, I was over my limit.  I find am often tempted to do that after a Saturday weigh-in that has more emotional impact.  This Saturday was a big step for several reasons.  

First, I have never dieted my way below 280 before.  I have never consciously, while on a diet, lost this much weight, ever.  So that’s a milestone.  It also suggests that my system of weight control, and remaking myself into a person capable of losing weight, might work.  Third, I have been a bit ill for the last couple of weeks (intestinal, don’t ask), and I wasn’t sure what my weight would be when I stepped onto the scale Saturday.  All that in combination was an emotional climax.  When that kind of storm comes through, I noticed I often over eat.  Maybe I should think about why that is.  

I have finished my post on how to start a diet (part III).  No more deep thoughts tonight!  I will come back tomorrow full of ideas.  Until then, good night.

-The Doctor

20190504 Saturday weigh-in

It’s Saturday!  Saturday is the day I have set aside for my weight monitoring.  There are two parts to controlling your weight: (1) monitor your weight and (2) regulate your food intake.  Some people do like to weight themselves every day.  My grandfather did.  For me, once a week is enough. 

It’s been a troublesome few weeks.  I haven’t been feeling well and my weight was up and down.  But I am feeling much better now.  Things are back to normal.  Last week, I weighed 278.8 pounds (though that was a bit complicated).  So when I stepped on the scale this morning…

I like when the number goes down

That’s an improvement over last week!  So for all my worrying, I was still moving in the right direction.  I have had more drastic weeks of weight loss, but this means since beginning my new lifestyle I have lost:

Pounds!!!
0

That’s a big difference.  I still have a long way to go, but steady progress is good.  It means that my system of weight control is working.  Remember, I don’t consider myself on a diet.  I have made changes to my life and rearranged my hierarchy of values, and my goal is weight control, not weight loss.  I don’t know exactly what my stopping point will be, but according to the US Army, which knows something about physical fitness, there is a range.  Their range for men my height is 148-214 pounds.  Where will I fall?  I have no idea yet, but 205 is a good guess.  

This brings us to the issue of pants size and clothing fit, as I lose weight.  Friendly observers (Mom) have told me that my clothes are starting to look inappropriately loose and baggy.  It took a long time, though.  The size 52 pants I was wearing must have been at their upper limit.  I tried some size 50 pants I had in storage, with mixed results.  Those with stretchy comfort panels fit.  Ordinary pants (no stretch panels) did fit, but showed body contours under the fabric.  So I am staying out of those.  But in my closet I have pants all the way back down to 46, for when I need them.  I also have some shirts in storage that used to fit.  Maybe they do, now.  

How will I fit into clothes as I shrink from now on?  Losing 120 pounds in one year, you would expect I won’t fit anything for very long.  It took me losing almost 50 pounds to go from size 52 to 50.  But during the next 70 pounds, I will probably drop a few sizes.  There is also in my mind the idea that after I shift to weight maintenance, my body will keep changing for a while anyway.  120 pounds is a drastic amount to lose.  It might be another year before all the changes work out of my system.  

Anyway, that’s fine as fantasy.  The reality is, I still have 71 pounds to go.  When I get half way (60 pounds lost, 60 to go) I will have to think of a special reward.  Hmmmmm.

-The Doctor

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