Saturday weigh-in

20200125 Saturday weigh-in

Part of the deal – if you are serious about controlling your weight – is to keep regular track of how much your body weighs.  I weigh myself every Saturday.  During most of the last two months, I have been avoiding doing that.  I was keeping track of how much I was eating, but not very carefully.  As I said yesterday, my mind has not been in the right place.

The fruits of all that are now ready.  

I weighed 246 pounds today.  The lowest I weighed, in November 2019, was 237.4.  Two weeks ago I weighed 245.4.  Beyond that, I have not taken my weight since November 30, 2019.  

Heading in the wrong direction

The last two weeks, while I have been trying to get myself back into a productive way of thinking, I’ve been paying attention to the way my clothes fit.  I feel like they are noticeably tighter.  This is probably a great way for people (who are paying attention) to notice weight gain.  You don’t need a scale!  Just go clothes shopping for your size.  (The problem with the clothes you already have, is that they might stretch and give you the idea that everything is ok.)

I calculate I might have gained as much as 9 pounds since my lowest weighing.  It’s hard to tell because I’ve had a couple of bad dieting days this week – that always inflates the number.  The increase fits with my observation that my clothes feel tighter.

This week my job is to make sure I am aiming high in my goal of eating.  I’ve had a couple of good days, and I am re-committed now to weighing every week.  My goal for eating, again, is to make sure I am hungry for my next meal.  In return, I commit to myself that the food will be worth the wait.  

Get your mind right and the rest will follow.

-The Doctor

20200111 Weekly weigh-in

245.4 pounds

That’s how much the Doctor weighed this morning.  It’s a bit higher than the 237.4 pounds I weighed on November 30, 2019.  It’s also the first time I have weighed myself since November 30, 2019!  Was 237.4 my low-water mark?  Am I ever going to weigh less than that?  What am I working towards in 2020?

For the last month and a half, I have been effectively taking a break from the weight control lifestyle.  I was still recording what I was eating, more or less, but not as carefully.  I was also not trying to restrict my intake very much, though I didn’t think I had eaten enough to really gain weight.  Now, I know!  Maybe I was wrong, since my weight is up, but we will see what happens once I have a week or two of successful intake control.  On the good side, I have had a month and a half to slow down and take a look at my body.  I bought some better-fitting clothes and thought about the future.  Why am I doing this, anyway?  What will happen once I achieve an appropriate weight?  It’s one thing to carefully restrict your intake to lose weight, but what is it like to restrict your intake to maintain a weight?  Is it really something I will have to pay close attention to forever?

Coming off a break

The month or two before I took my break from weight control, I was starting to have a hard time.  My appetite was getting out of control, and I was hungry for carbohydrate rich snacks and foods.  At the time, I thought I was probably having a physical reaction to an intestinal illness or something.  But I realize now it might have been more emotional.  The weight loss I had last year did depend on a lot of things in my life staying manageable.  And I put a lot of work, effort, and concentration into weight control.  I was maybe more tired than I realized.

To the good, I am a person who can lose 80 pounds.  I couldn’t say that before.  I’m still not a person who lost 120 pounds.  That is yet to come, if I can make weight control my top value and goal for this year, too.  Paying attention is a harder way to live than my former carefree lifestyle, when I didn’t think about any of this.  I have to recognize that, too.  So now I have more questions to ask myself: what would satisfy me in my life?  How does weight loss fit into what I am trying to achieve in other parts of my life?  Is there an emotional cost?  What would make that worthwhile?  How could I recharge?  

Learn about yourself to change yourself!

-The Doctor

20191109 Saturday weigh-in

Every week, on Saturday, I weigh myself.  This act is so important to weight control that I get my whole family to participate.  If you don’t know how much you weigh, and in what direction you are going, it will be hard to lose weight over a long term period, or control your weight for an even longer period (the rest of your life).  It is also important to learn how your eating affects your weight in subtler ways.  For example: how many calories per day, and per week, can you have and lose weight?  Stay the same?  Gain?  That kind of self knowledge comes from weighing.  What else can cause weight gain?  Illness?  A large meal the night before you weigh yourself?  

On another level, counting calories and keeping a food journal only goes so far.  The proof is your body’s weight.

No picture day; clothes shopping

Sadly, the Doctor did not lose weight this week.  In fact, my weight went up to 239.4, which is very unlikely.  I hope I’m not getting sick.  I did have a very large Indian buffet lunch Thursday, and I have been hitting the candy and cookies hard due to the cold weather (or that’s what I’m telling myself, anyway).  

But looking through my food journal I can see half a dozen periods in the last year where I didn’t lose, or else gained weight.  It’s almost always illness related, though not always.  Since the weight control lifestyle is attractive and I find it fulfilling, it’s easy to keep going even in the face of a week of gaining weight.  Every other time it’s happened, I have always started losing again 1-2 weeks later.  It’s not too disheartaning either, as the long term trend is good.

Weighing yourself is important, but it is only one way to look at your body’s condition.  No matter how much weight you have lost, going clothes shopping is another great way to measure your body and see where you really are.  The sizes don’t lie (much), there are mirrors everywhere, and you have to be really realistic about what fits you and how.  The clothes and mirrors don’t care that you have lost 80 pounds.  They only can hang on your body now.  

In dress shirts, I was able to fit  nicely into a 17″ neck, but the sleeve length was crucial.  I was up to 18 or 18 1/2 neck size when I weighed over 300 pounds.  In winter coats, 2XL was a better fit than anything else, but slightly large on me now.  I could fit into XL, but it was slightly tight.   My old winter coat was 3XL.  And in suit and sport coats, I was between 46L and 48L (closer to 46).  I know that my waist is taking size 44 pants comfortably.  Size 46 pants are rather big on me now. 

The reality, though, is that I am roughly 40 pounds heavier than I should be (looking at the weight charts online).  The size and fit of the clothes on my body reflect that.  I will know that I have reached a good weight, I think, when I am in size 38 pants and they are comfortable.  I’m not sure how coat size and shirt size will change.  I am between sizes right now.  

I will try to make sure next week is a good week.  The better I live, the better I like controlling my weight.

-The Doctor

20191102 Saturday weigh-in

Once you have promoted weight control to the top of your moral hierarchy (or very near the top – let’s say the top three), it is hard to look at the world any other way.  I was reading through my food journal and it’s amazing to see how it plays out.  (I also record life events in the journal.)  In my non food life, good things happen, and bad things happen, and through it all, I keep recording what I ate and how many calories, how I felt about it, how often I exercise, calorie content of foods, and of course, how much I weigh.  

I weigh my body every Saturday.  It is so important to me that I am weighing my whole family!  I keep a separate record of that.  I even want the kids to pay attention to their weight and have all the tools they need to control it.  Tool #1 is to record what you ate and how many calories were in it.  Tool #2 is just as important.  You must weigh yourself every week. 

There are perfectly good alternates for these tools, too.  But these are mine.  

Not quite straight, but still a lower number than before.

Since starting my weight control lifestyle, with a new weight control mind, back in January 2019, I have lost:

Pounds!!
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The pull of candy.....turn it into a reward

With all this Halloween around, I have started to feel a bit deprived for candy.  My weight control system does not allow actual deprivation.  Who would keep up a diet and lifestyle that makes you unhappy and deprived?  You will have to use increasing amounts of force and willpower to keep that up, and eventually your resentments will take over.  Goodbye, weight control!  

So I want to avoid that.  What I have done successfully in the past is turn food cravings into a reward.  All kinds of food temptations are allowed in this system, so long as the calorie count stays under control.  Candy is no different!  

As part of the system of rewards, I have regularly celebrated every 10 pounds lost with a special dessert, or meal.  When I got my weight under 300 pounds, I baked a gingerbread cake and ate it  – piece by piece – over a couple of weeks.  During that time, I made cake part of my calorie count, and was able to really enjoy each piece and look forward to eating them.  The technique was easy – I counted up all the calories in the recipe, including icing, and divided by the number of slices.  The math came to 550 calories per slice.  That way, the reward didn’t stop my quest to keep controlling my weight and transform my mind and body.  And it turned out that eating the cake that way was much more enjoyable than if I had just eaten a few really big pieces.  Anticipation makes the sacrifice worthwhile.

There are other ways of controlling your calorie intake and checking your body for weight gain.  Mine has certain strengths: it works, it is enjoyable, there are no food restrictions, it doesn’t cost more money than I was spending before.  Unusual events like holidays are no problem, though I always find travel is difficult while dieting.  Or is it the other way around?  The weight control diet has certain weaknesses: it takes work, it takes planning and organization, it takes careful negotiation with yourself, constant paying attention, and time spent keeping a food journal.  Plus you weigh yourself every week. 

I have met people who handle this differently.  My grandfather at the same thing for every meal.  Every lunch was the same, every dinner was the same, etc. I don’t mean that breakfast, lunch, and dinner were exactly the same!  But he was very, very thin.  I don’t know exactly what my other grandfather’s system was, but he gave the impression of not being sensually interested in food.  Another man I met cooks all his food on the weekend, then eats it for the rest of the week.  He knows exactly how much food he had for the week, though e doesn’t care much how much he has on any particular day.  Many people weigh themselves daily or weekly, but some use other measurements, like the way that clothes fit, or a belt.

The strengths of those systems are all about saving time and attention.  If you know exactly what you are going to eat and how much (however you get there), you are controlling your intake.  You don’t have to pay as much attention as I do!  Just eat the portion.  All the work is already done for you.  I imagine it’s the same for people who eat frozen pre prepared meals from a store.  That wouldn’t appeal to me, but it might work for you.  However, such a person is at risk during unusual events like holidays.  Between Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, there is a lot of extra food around and the usual routine can get disrupted.  It is for this reason that people gain weight around the holidays and try to lose weight in the beginning of the year.  But there’s no denying the simplicity of the system most of the time.  

Regulate your food intake and weigh yourself regularly!

-The Doctor

20191026 Saturday weigh-in

Saturday!  The day of truth….weight control truth.  All week I have been keeping track of my calorie count, eating just the right amount of food at just the right time, to keep the various pieces of my brain, body, and soul aligned on the goal of weight control.  That’s what the food journal is for, though honestly the food journal has become handy for so many things I plan to keep it always.  

Truth is the number on the scale.  How did all the careful measuring of food and calories affect your body?  It’s very important to check reality, the truth, every so often.  I do it every week.  I know there are a lot of thin people who weigh themselves every day.  Every week is working so far…..

The lowest number so far!

I am amazed to report that since I started this diet in January 2019, I have lost………….

Pounds!!
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Under 240 pounds and still going

The weight control lifestyle I am living…the one I share with you in story and pictures, is very attractive for me.  I built it that way, and have used what I learned along the way to make it better and more effective.  It’s amazing how it operates outside my usual definition of willpower.  There is discipline, and a lot of work, but I don’t feel I am ordering, dictating to, or forcing myself to be hungry or feel deprived.  

In the last few weeks, several neighbors, and not just the nosey ones, have mentioned they have noticed my weight loss.  In a way, hey, thanks for noticing after 85+ pounds have been lost!  But it’s nice of them to notice, and say something.  Interestingly, in general, it has been the thinner people who noticed first.  I think they are paying more attention (or maybe they are just more talkative).  As of now, of the ~10 people who have said something, three have asked for details.  Two of those were thin people, and one was a bit overweight.  That surprised me.  I thought the more overweight people would be more interested in the details.  Anyway, each person who asked suggested their own theory!  Clearly, there are many paths to weight control.

In general, I only have a couple of minutes to talk with these people before we go in different directions.  

  • Person #1 was a short lady, a bit overweight (say 40 pounds).  She was sure that I was losing weight by skipping meals.  That told me how she was trying to lose weight (willpower, force and deprivation!).  I told her about counting calories and keeping a journal.  I don’t think she was ready to hear about that.  She told me she eats mostly Guatemalan food homemade by her mother or other relatives.  She wouldn’t have much awareness of the calorie count, under those circumstances .
  • Person #2 was a lady of medium height from my office.  Her body’s frame is large, but she is reasonably thin within that type.  She suggested I had lost weight by starting to eat healthy.  People mean different things by that and I didn’t get a chance to ask what she meant.  In a way, paying attention to my body’s needs and counting calories is eating healthily.  But that also told me about how she kept thin!  Actually I think she might have lost about 10 pounds in the last couple of years.  It sounds like her goal is health, and she is monitoring her eating with that goal in mind.  
  • Person #3 is my neighbor, a very thin and wiry man of medium height.  He had a multiple-part theory.  He asked if I was exercising, eating right, or watching my health.  I assume he does all three – he is quite thin.  I playfully told him I am bribing myself to eat less, using foods I like as the bait.  That wasn’t what he was expecting, but as we passed his door he again complimented me several times.  Very kind.

There is only one conclusion: I should work on an elevator speech.  That’s a technique where you try to convince someone about something in under a minute.  I’ve been writing my thoughts about weight loss here in long form and developing the ideas, but using a lot of time and space to do it.  Something short and convincing, a story that can be told in a minute.  I will think about it.

It’s true: people will tell you amazing things if you know how to listen.

-The Doctor

20191019 Saturday weigh-in

Every Saturday I weigh myself.  That is new.  In the past, I would rarely weigh myself, really only when I was trying to start a diet.  Years ago, on Instapundit, I read a list of habits, or common characteristics, of people who were thin and stayed thin.  Very few people did all of those behaviors on the list, and I only remember a few of them, but one of them was “they weigh themselves regularly, daily or weekly.”  That was never part of my life, until now.  And it makes sense – who wants to get on the scale and see just how overweight you are, every day or week?  Especially if you are not trying to lose or maintain a weight?  Now I just do it.  True, I am trying to lose weight, but I plan to keep on weighing myself, even after I reach a body weight I like.  For the rest of my life, anyway.  I have picked Saturday.  Here’s me on the scale:

The lowest number yet

I am constantly surprised by my body.  However, the scale tells no lies and that is why I weigh myself every week.  Since I started my diet, I have lost: 

Pounds!!
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The Doctor is In

Well, this is a surprise!  Why did my weight go down?  It’s against a lot of previous experience.  I had several good dieting days this week but Sunday was terrible, with travel and lots of extra eating.  And I have been very congested, so I assumed I was getting sick.  Generally, all that has meant my weight loss stops and has to be written off for the week.  But this is my lowest weight ever!   

It sounds funny to say my lowest weight ever.  I did weigh 240 at one point in the past, but my weight was on the way up.  This is the lowest weight I have achieved while trying to control my weight, though.  

My original plan was to lose 120 pounds, to go from my highest weight, 325, to 205.  The choice of ending number was a little difficult.  I don’t remember what I weighed when I was thin.  That was probably 20 years ago.   I read, though, that the US Army will take new recruits only in a certain weight range for their height.  I thought the Army would have to know something about physical standards, so I picked a figure at the top of their acceptable range for my height and age.  So 205 it was.  I am as shocked as anyone that I am making progress.  I am officially more than two thirds of the way there.  What is the reason for all this success so far?  And what is the potential for reaching the target?  

The weight control lifestyle I am living is partly based on a system of incentives and rewards.  Every meal is a potential reward (it can be something I really want to eat), and every time I lose 10 pounds, I also give myself a reward.  The 10-pound loss rewards are more extravagant than the everyday rewards.  In the past I have made myself a cake, made special desserts, and gone to restaurants.  Often I have picked my reward far in advance, but right now I don’t have anything in mind, and I am only one pound away from  losing another 10.  What will I choose?  I think of these rewards as a promise to myself and I need to keep it.  And that leads us to another reason for success – I have inverted the usual system for losing weight.

Based on my past dieting and how I thought about foods and eating and dieting at that time, I always tried to force myself to eat less, with one exception.  That was the low carb diet I tried, where I let myself eat as much as I wanted as long as it didn’t have carbohydrates!  That diet really gave me an insight on how to lose weight while still eating rewarding food.  But in general, I usually used force, and punishment, to try and lose weight.  I am convinced that’s why most diets fail.  You can’t force yourself consistently, long-term, and have a weight loss lifestyle you will enjoy.

As for the future, I think this weight loss will continue under the weight control system.  There will be surprises, and chances to learn, and disappointments.  I hope I choose wisely.  But as your body gets thinner and closer to actually thin, I am sure it behaves differently.  I will be keeping an eye on that and reporting it here.  Here’s to more success!

-The Doctor

20191012 Saturday weigh in

Everything I eat is written in my food journal.  Not just a description, but a calorie count.  That is part of my commitment to a weight control lifestyle.  If you don’t know how many calories you are eating, you are not in control.  That also means that your food should be planned in advance.  You should have a good idea of how many calories you have available, say, for lunch.  It also means that you have to write down what you ate really soon, ideally right after you eat it.  You might forget!

Not my best week

When I weighed myself early today, as I suspected – my weight was up from last week.  This is my own fault, see the posts from this week for details.  It just takes time for the extra calories to get worked through my body so weight loss can begin again.  I accept this.  Next week is a new week. 

I am also traveling this weekend.  Travel always throws off my eating schedule, my calorie counts, and my fluid weights.  It’s only temporary and I will work through it as usual.

Stick with it!  This system has worked for me in many ways and in the short and long term.  

-The Doctor

20191005 Saturday weigh-in

There are two essential parts to the mechanism for controlling your weight.  (This is after you have given up on your old life and your old ways of thinking about food.  If you haven’t changed your mind, then this approach won’t help you either.)  1. Regulate your food intake and 2. Weigh yourself regularly.  I thought about calling it the Well Regulated Diet, but the name lacks drama.  And it’s only the mechanism.  What’s truly important is your mental transformation.

Having transformed, you need a mechanism to control your weight, though.  Ultimately it’s all about the scale.  Weigh yourself periodically and regularly.  Some people weigh themselves every day.  I prefer once a week, at this time.  It may change.  I think the thinner you want to be, the more effort (attention) it takes.  

Not thin yet, but this is a reward based system!

I started in January 2019 at 325 pounds.  Alas, I didn’t take a picture at that time.  I just have a spreadsheet entry.But this is an improvement from last week of nearly three pounds!  My original goal was 205 pounds, and now I am less than 40 pounds away from that.  And that means since starting in January I have lost:

Pounds!!
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Reward, reward, reward. Put the duty on your conscious will.

The conscious ego “I” is very good at issuing orders.  If you have ever been on a diet (and you know you have), you know that you can tell yourself to eat less, lose weight, eat different foods, stop drinking, exercise more, stop smoking, and (my favorite) stop procrastinating, if you get around to it.  None of that works.  Your body and your subconscious parts might try to play along for a while, but you can’t even order yourself around successfully, not for more than a few days or weeks.  You will build up resentment against even yourself.  Soon you will be looking for excuses, reasons, rationalizations, to explain breaking your diet, just this one time.  Game over.  Then you will be disappointed in yourself.  Welcome to competing resentments in one body, where each part of your being is angry and resentful against the other parts!  Good luck getting anything done.  

A more successful approach is to treat yourself respectfully, as someone you should negotiate with, to benefit all.  That means give and take.  That means figuring yourself out.  It means paying attention to what your body wants.  That means satisfying many different parts or layers of yourself, with their competing desires, priorities, and interests, and harmonizing those wants and needs with your conscious desire to be in control of your body’s weight.

You can profitably invert the system I described above.  Your conscious will can do the work, for a change, instead of just issuing futile orders.  Use your will to serve yourself with care and attention.  You will love it.  For that kind of love, your mind and body will do anything for you.  Use your willpower to reward yourself for a job well done.  Don’t use your willpower to force yourself to go against your nature.  Each meal can be a reward, and you can use your willpower to make sure your body and soul get exactly what they want to eat, just when it will be most fulfilling.  In return, they will be willing to eat less food.  

The rewards exist any many levels.  Each meal is a reward.  I only eat things I love.  When I reach a weigh milestone, I get a reward.  Every 10 pounds I have lost, so far, has resulted in a new reward.  You’d think I would run out of rewards, but apparently I have a limitless appetite for reward.  And I use my willpower to figure all that out, plan meals ahead, shop, and prepare food ahead of time.  I cater to myself and reward myself using willpower.  I will always have enough will for that. 

I’ve enjoyed this lifestyle (so fulfilling and satisfying) more than I have enjoyed any part of my post-childhood.  And I only started living it in January, 2019.  On top of that, I have lost 82 pounds.  It’s almost been a side benefit of enjoying life more.

If you can’t say that, maybe you should allow yourself to think about what that would be like.

-The Doctor

20190928 Saturday weigh-in

In my week, Saturday is different from the other days.  During the week, I concentrate on writing my food journal and making sure my food intake is balanced with my goals.  I have a numeric goal (averaging 1850 calories per day) and an eating goal (maximize the pleasure of eating).  While I was gaining weight, for the last 20 years, my goal was to feel full, and I learned to associate that feeling with comfort and satisfaction.  Now, I see that as a shallow goal without a lot of meaning.  Now, I desire to be hungry.  Not hungry all the time!  Just when it’s time to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  When you are physically hungry, and eat a measured portion of a special food you have been anticipating and are looking forward to, it tastes better than anything else.  A second helping, viewed this way, isn’t nearly as tasty.  Also, if you get too full you won’t be hungry for your next meal and you will ruin the pleasure of it.

So how is this lifestyle working for me?

Caption

My highest weight was 325 pounds.  Since starting this new weight control lifestyle in January, 2019, I have lost a fraction under:

Pounds!!
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From hobby to obsession

Talk to any person who is thin and who has stayed thin as an adult, and you are talking to someone who works hard at it.  Nobody gets to be thin for free.  The idea that some people are naturally thin is a comforting lie.  (Of course some people burn calories at a higher rate than others, but the differences are pretty slight.)  Go check out some of the calculators online that will take your sex, weight, and age and predict how many calories you need per day.  For me, my body requires 3200 per day, just to stay the weight I am.  Just sitting in a chair all day (called the basic metabolic rate), my body burns 2260 calories per day.  The rest of the calories are burned by moving about.  

Let’s analyze this.  I am having 1850 measured calories per day, times seven days per week = 13,000 calories per week.  Using the calculator linked in the last paragraph, my body needs 3200 calories per day to break even, times seven days per week = 22,400.  

22,400-13,000 = 9400 calorie deficit this week.

It’s practically universal that it takes 3500 calories of deficit per week to lose a pound of body weight.  In theory, I’ve lost 2.7 pounds this week.  Certainly, 246.2 pounds is the least I have weighed since…..the year 2003?

People sometimes ask how I have the willpower to do this: keep the daily food journal, keep my food intake under control, and win the fight to assert my values, every day.  The answer is Willpower!!!  Ha, no way.  I have very little sustained willpower and have failed on countless diet attempts.  So, what’s different this time?  This time I have built a weight control lifestyle that is attractive.  It is so compelling and rewarding that I want to live it.  Then I don’t have to use willpower to force myself to go against my nature.  

It is my belief that weight control has to be your obsession if you want to become thin and stay thin.  At least it has to be your favorite hobby.  That means it has to be important to you, more important than practically anything.  What would you give up to be in control of your body’s weight?  I have given up a lot of free time, and my old lifestyle, my old goals, and my whole old self.  I’ve had to rebuild my relationships with my family, even.  I’m a new person who cares a lot about how much his body weighs.  

Weight control is a lifetime goal.  It will never be done.  I have learned that anyone who stays thin is working hard to stay thin.  And it’s appreciated.  Several people who are thin  were the first to notice that I was losing weight.  They pay attention to that kind of thing. 

What are you paying attention to?

-The Doctor

20190907 Saturday weigh-in

The second part of my commitment to weigh control is to weigh myself every week.  Many people who are thin, and stay thin, weigh themselves every day – or have some other way to check their body (clothes sizes, belt sizes, or?) to make sure they are not over eating.  There is counting calories, and then there is the proof.  What do you actually weigh?  Because I have read that once you are fairly thin, even a small change in your body is noticeable.  Clothes don’t fit, and you don’t feel the same.  You are close to the edge and balance is affected by small things, on the edge.  So how did I do this week?

The lowest number yet!

Wonderful progress, I was recently saying that I remember the beginning of this weight loss program, when I routinely lost 3 pounds per week.  I was thinking up to 2 pounds per week was more realistic now.  (Last week I was at 251.8.)  This means that since beginning my weight control lifestyle, I have lost:

Pounds!!
0

Reward time

Every time I lose a whole decade (270, 260, and now 250) I find a way to reward myself.  I have sacrificed what part of me wants: being full.  A lot of me doesn’t value that highly anymore, but I know part of me does.  That part has to be compensated and all of me rewarded.  It’s a promise that I have to keep.  This time, I know exactly what the reward is: Indian buffet!  

The great part about these rewards is that I fit them into my weight control lifestyle.  My calorie count for the day will stay at 1800 (more for a swimming day).  I will have a reward and I will still lose weight next week.  Maybe I won’t lose quite as much! 

It’s an interesting reward now, because being full isn’t ideal to most of my consciousness now.  At a buffet, I do have to estimate how much I am eating, but there is a license to satisfy the part of me that wants the sensation of fullness and finds that comforting.  I try not to ignore these parts of myself, especially because that part is powerful enough to take control if provoked!  I have (and everyone on a diet has) had the situation where my conscious will said Don’t Eat and part of me says (with its mouth full) Too Bad.  Even though I don’t want to, I find myself eating, even though in theory it’s all me and I should be able to stop!  

So I pay attention to the parts of myself that are at odds with the goals and ideals of my conscious will.  I still have a body and it still wants what it wants, no matter what I say.  

Paying attention means a lot of different things.  But some of them are worth the effort, don’t you find?

-The Doctor

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