Weight loss

20190831 Saturday weigh-in

Saturday!  The day when I weigh myself to see whether weight control is happening or is just a figment of my imagination.  All week I have been keeping a food journal and counting calories.  I can truly say that I have no idea what I will weigh.  I never do.  But the calorie counting has been going well.  How did that translate to weight loss this week?

Creeping down, down, down

Success!  I have lost a fraction over two pounds since I last recorded my weight 2 weeks ago.  This means that since I started my new weight control lifestyle in January of 2019, I have lost:

Pounds!!
0

That's 73 less than I used to weigh

…but about 47 more than I want to weigh.  I prefer to look on the positive side.  After all, I have already lost 73, so the next 47 should be easy, right?

Actually, I am finding that it seemed much easier to lose the first half of my excess 120 pounds.  Weight loss was about 3 pounds per week fairly routinely, and I kind of got used to that.  Now it is harder.  Why is that?  Well, part of it is success.  It takes more energy to maintain a body that weighs 325 pounds than it does 251.8 pounds.  So eating the same amount means I probably won’t be losing as much every week.  According to the weight loss calculator on the internet here:

325 pounds – 3337 calories per day to maintain weight

275 pounds – 3026 calories per day to maintain weight

251 pounds – 2876 calories per day to maintain weight

(205 pounds – 2590 calories per day to maintain weight)

For now, my goal weight is 205 pounds.  Then I will assess what to do next.

I have been keeping my calorie intake steady at about 1,850 calories per day, so you can see the problem.  In weekly terms, I need to be in deficit 3,500 calories, over a week, to lose a pound that week.  At first (325 pounds), I was in deficit 10,500 calories per week and was losing three pounds at a time.   Now at 251.8 pounds, eating the same amount of food, I am only in deficit 7,000 calories and so losing only 2 pounds a week; and errors and cheats in my calorie counting (some on purpose, some not) now have a bigger effect.  There is less room for error.  

My feeling is that adding in some daily exercise (e.g. walking for 30 minutes) will help even out those problems.  I have also had some interest in strength training (weight lifting) which is also apparently a high calorie burning activity.  But I am not eager to get started yet, that’s another activity that would take a lot of time and dedication.  

For now, I will stick with my winning system, even if the wins are slightly smaller.  Things are still going my way, not as fast.  Maybe it will be 2020 before I reach my goal.  But I will still reach it.

-The Doctor

20190817 Saturday weigh-in

On Saturday, I weigh myself.  It’s one of the two mechanisms I use to ensure control of my body’s weight.  (1) Regulate your food intake and (2) weigh yourself regularly.  

(1) has to do with what I eat and how much, and when during the day.  I am learning more and more about myself, which makes regulating intake much easier. 

(2) means in general once per week.  This week, I tried weighing myself every day, and there was variation in the early part of the week.  But there really wasn’t by the end fo the week.    Here’s how I did: 

Lowest number ever

The two weeks ago Saturday weighing had me at 258 pounds, and I was 258 last Sunday too.  So four pounds is a lot to lose in one week, but there were special circumstances.  Since starting my program of weight control I have lost:

Pounds!!
0

49 pounds to go?!

Last week (August 2-9) I had several days of high calorie eating – bad diet days.  This week, I was able to regulate my food intake better, by paying attention and using my self-knowledge to see where I had been letting myself down.  (I sometimes refer to myself in the third person like this, or talk about my body vs. my mind.  All I mean is that there are lots of different layers to a person’s consciousness, and they are not always working together.  My goal is to unify myself towards a positive project, to achieve success.  So far, 71 pounds of success.)

But first, some revelry.  Yay!  The last six weeks have been a trial, my weight coming down but very stubbornly slowly.  Now I am completely healthy, and have used my values and self knowledge to re-align myself with the goal: weight control.  There was immediate success: weight went down from 258 to 254.  Now, four pounds in a week isn’t usual.  But I was coming off a week (Aug 2-9) with several bad diet days, so my system had a chance to clear out this week (Aug 10-17).  So last week’s and this week’s weight loss came together and were visible today.  Next week I don’t expect to have lost four pounds!  

Something different: I weighed myself every day this week.  I was curious.  Interestingly, my weight bounced around a lot the first few days as my system got cleared out from the bad dieting days, then was pretty steady.  So, from Sunday to Saturday the results were:

  • 258.0
  • 257.2
  • 258.8
  • 255.4
  • 255.2
  • 254.8
  • 254.0

I’m not sure I will keep doing this​ daily weighing, but it made Saturday a bit less scary.  

In a way, this week was an amazing experience.  It was a re-awakening , as I realized I had drifted away from my weight loss program successes, and fixed it.  Literally, I felt no hunger after the dinners and it seemed like I had eaten a lot of food!  I was actually worried that I was counting the calories wrongly, it didn’t seem like I could be correct.  But every day (in the last half of the week) the scale showed a lower and lower number.  And today the success is obvious.  That is so inspiring and a reason to keep going.  Getting control of your body’s weight can be a satisfying and rewarding process, but do you ever have to pay attention.

Think hard to find a good goal, and then change yourself to be a person who values the right things that support the goal.  Coordinate those together and it is hard to stop you. 

-The Doctor

20190803 Saturday weigh-in

Every Saturday I weigh in – literally, on a scale.  I have no idea before I step on, what I will weigh.  Some people weigh themselves every day.  I do it once per week.  It is a commitment I have made as part of my new lifestyle.  I will weigh myself every week and monitor my weight for the rest of my life.  It’s the only way I will get in control of my body’s weight.  Last week, I gain ed a pound.  IT was always unlikely, I just didnt’ eat enough to gain anything.  I was probably ill and retaining water.  I felt a little better yesterday and today, how did I do this time?

Lowest number ever

I have been stuck at or above 260 for a few weeks.  I was starting to have doubts about what I was doing to lose weight.  But this is very, very positive.  IF I continue to feel healthy, I may lose more weight in the next week.  But since starting in January, I have lost:

Pounds!!
0

Halfway rut?

Since I achieved half of the 120 pound weight loss I want a month ago, I have been in a rut and it’s been uncertain what was going on with weight loss.  I am feeling like things are now a going bit harder than the first 60 pounds.  But now I have lost 7 more than 60!  Maybe this is a good sign and I will keep losing.  I will keep working away and see what I can achieve in the next week.  

Usually after I have been ill, the first full week I am better shows a very good weight loss in the 3 pound range.  That would be nice for next week.  I still kind of feel resentful about the weeks I lost while being ill.  There’s a “why did I bother dieting if it didn’t get me anywhere” feeling, as if I have sacrificed for nothing.

But if losing 120 pounds was easy, everyone would do it.  I am doing this new lifestyle partly to take control of my body.  As I worked this technique out, I learned this new lifestyle is attractive to me and makes me feel satisfied and fulfilled.  So I have reasons other than losing weight, to keep on it.  I am answering an important question: how much quality was missing from my life?  I didn’t realize that what I was doing before wasn’t satisfying or fulfilling, or was only cheaply so.  Now I’m after a deeper prize.  Where else is my life unsatisfying?  What else needs changing?  How about your life?  Let’s think about it.  

-The Doctor

20190727 Saturday weigh-in

Once a week, I weigh in to see how my calorie counting is going.  My mechanism to establish control over my body’s weight has two parts: 1. Regulate food intake and 2. get weighed once per week.  Some people weigh themselves every day.  They both work.  Having undergone a metamorphosis into a person who will sacrifice a lot to control his weight and become thin, I can act out the two parts of my mechanism and not use all my willpower on deprivation.  My goal is not to feel deprived.

Some weeks, things don’t go well.  Usually, they do.  

I woke up today and weighed myself but it was not a triumph.  My weight increased a pound since last week (now 260.4).  That isn’t possible per the number of calories I have recorded in my food journal, but it’s useful to think about what went wrong and what I can do about it next time.  Next week is a new week, after all. 

Dissection and reassembly

So what was different from other weeks where I have lost weight?  I overate on a couple of days, consequently my calorie count was higher than usual for the week by about 2500.  Also, for a few of the days my calorie count was lower than usual.  After my Wednesday late night eating fest, I only had 1000 calories the next day – I wasn’t hungry for much, and no wonder.  So my calorie intake was bunched up and not spread out as usual.  Last, I have had a bloated and full feeling in my gut all day.  

  • Calories per day: (Saturday) 2420, then 1750, 3800, 1740, 2880, 1080, and 1640 (Friday).  Total: 15,400.
  • My break even point (neither gain nor lose weight): 3200 per day or a Total of: 22,400.  
  • My usual calorie goal is about 13,000 calories per week (1850 x 7).

As you can see, even with a couple of bad diet days in there, I should be losing weight.  Why didn’t it happen?  

  1. I could be wrong about my calorie counting.  I don’t see that being right, my calorie counting has been good so far through the first 65 pounds lost.  But it’s possible.
  2. I could be retaining fluid.  I like this theory, because I feel a little bloated and blocked up today.  And it means I am not to blame!  Blame has lots of calories.
  3. The unevenness of my eating this last week (one day 1080, another day 3800) has thrown off my metabolism and given time my true weight will reveal itself.

It will be hard to tell the difference between #s 2 and 3.  They both will get fixed with time.  I don’t know if it helps, but I was sure to have a yogurt today with lots of active live cultures.  This will also not distinguish between #s 2 and 3, but will help either situation equally.  

It seems unlikely that with a maintenance level of 22,400 calories per week, that I wouldn’t lose weight by eating only 15,400 calories in a week.   The usual estimate is you lose 1 pound for every 3500 calories of deficit.  So I will forge ahead and get my routine re-established.  I have no reason to change anything, yet.  But there is still a long way to go – losing the rest of the extra weight, finding out what weight I want to maintain, and then figuring out how to maintain it.  It will take a lifetime, and I hope I can keep finding ways to make it worthwhile.

-The Doctor

20190720 Saturday weigh-in

Time for my weekly weighing!  This was a tense moment for me as I have not lost weight appreciably for several weeks, mostly due to illness. 

On the move again

Hooray, for two weeks in a row I have lost weight and this week it was appreciable at more than three pounds!  Since starting my weight control diet in January 2019 I have lost:

Pounds!!
0

Traveling

I am away from home for the next few days and will be brief.  

My historical pattern (all six months of it) is that during illness, my weight loss slows or halts, sometimes I even go up a pound, probably due to fluid retention.  The first full week after recovery, I usually lose three pounds.  That’s what happened this time!  Last week I weighed in at 262.4 pounds. 

Even though I had made this observation and told myself to expect it, it was still a very emotional experience.  I was starting to worry that I had run into some kind of intractable plateau.  No, I was just ill the last few weeks, and my weight is unreliable when I am ill.  From fairly early in my food journal, I kept a column I color coded for illness (a lovely shade of green) and I was easily able to identify periods of illness and see what happened.  I predicted last week that this would happen (losing three pounds after recovery), and it did.  Next time I will be stronger in my faith. 

Now it is time to think about rewards.  How would you reward yourself after going from 320… 310… 300… 290… 280… 270… to below 260?  Whatever I decide, I plan to be really, really nice to myself for my accomplishment.  It’s amazing how well one responds to rewards and recognition, even from the self.  

-The Doctor

20190713 Saturday weigh-in

It’s…..Saturday!  Saturday is the day I live out the second part of my weight control system.  They are (1) regulate your food intake and (2) weigh yourself regularly.  I intend to follow both of those rules for the rest of my life, since one I get thin, I will want to maintain control over my weight.  I don’t want, after putting in all this effort, to wake up one day and get on the scale to find I have gained all of the weight back.  If I maintain (1) and (2), and the moral hierarchy that got me here, I should be able to keep any weight I choose.

So how did I do this week?  I’ve been ill recently, but the last 3 days have felt like getting back to normal.  My weight was all over the place, just like it always does when I get sick.  

Lowest number yet

Hooray!  My body’s weight is moving in the right direction again, and I have felt better for the last several days.  It’s 1.2 pounds less than I weighed at my lowest, two weeks ago.  

Pounds!!
0

Be skeptical

Last week, my weight went up to 264.8 pounds.  That might have been due to illness (two weeks of being sick, ugh).  I didn’t eat enough to gain that pound!  Over the last four weeks:

  • 263.8 lbs
  • 263.4 
  • 264.8 
  • 262.2

I will know by next week if I am all better.  Whenever I have been sick before, weight loss has stalled (or gone backwards) and then the first full week after recovery I usually lose about three pounds.  We shall see if the pattern continues.  Having everything written down in my food journal has been really helpful when this kind of thing comes up.    That’s another reason to keep one.  

Interestingly, people don’t notice you’ve lost weight (even 63 pounds) until you start wearing smaller clothes.  If you think about it, it’s a polite opportunity to mention  to someone that they have lost weight.  “New outfit?  Wow, you are looking thin!” 

Even though I have lost 63 pounds (more than half of the weight I want to lose!), there is still a long way to go.  It takes me a lot of care and attention to lose weight.  Frankly, from what I am seeing it takes a lot of care and attention to maintain your weight, once you are thin.  But wow, does this weight control system make it worthwhile.  You are required to cater to your own needs for every meal.  That’s three times per day, 21 per week, over 1000 per year. 

A thousand times a year that you will do something nice for yourself.  See how you will come to love and trust yourself more and more, and how that reinforces your ability to keep losing weight?  You will quickly appreciate all the attention and love you shower on yourself.  It makes eating less food completely and totally worthwhile; food is a source of pleasure and deeper satisfaction in my life than ever before.  And I am eating only 60% of what I need to maintain my weight!  

Once you realize it takes work to stay thin and doesn’t just happen, you can decide whether to put in the work.  It all starts with that realization and that decision.  Your body follows the mind. 

-The Doctor

20190706 Saturday weigh-in

Disorder!  Calamity!  Discord!

I fell into a classic mental trap today and didn’t help myself at all.  Let me explain.  This system of weight control has two mechanisms that reinforce each other.  First, I monitor and control my food intake.  Second, I weigh myself regularly, which keeps the whole thing honest.  

This last week, I have been recovering from some stomach or intestinal ailment.  During that time, eating was out of control and it was all I could do to write down and record everything I ate.  There was no attempt to stick to my diet.  Towards the end of the week I started to claw my way back, and by Friday I was feeling pretty good about it – I went swimming and that went well, my calorie intake was good, etc.  I hoped I might even be on track to lose weight for the week and have my lowest weight ever on Saturday.  

Did that happen?  No.

The Trap

No picture of my happy feet today either – I only post pictures of victories.

I got on the scale and my weight was 264.8.  That’s an increase of a pound since last week and the week before.  Oh no, have I hit the dreaded plateau?  The one I have been saying doesn’t exist?  Well, I can think of a couple of more likely problems.

  1. Still recovering from being ill (intestinal complaint).  This is the fluid weight problem.  Am I retaining fluid? 
  2. First half of the week was spent eating a lot of food, and all carbohydrate rich foods.  Was all that still in my system?  
  3. I have been exercising a lot more than usual the last few weeks – nothing too strenuous, but lots of free swimming in the outdoor pool.  Have I put on some muscle?  That weighs more than normal tissue.  

They all could be true (or none).  But the answer to all of these is the same – be patient, keep persevering using the system that has served well so far.  These problems should resolve themselves, given a week of steady weight control eating.  On the other hand, what if I am in some kind of extended pause that doesn’t resolve itself?  In that case, I will probably accuse myself of cheating or not counting all my calories properly.  The answer to that is another week or two of very careful calorie counting.

Anyway, I have said many times that if you have a bad day, or week, you should never punish yourself.  You will rebel and things will get very bad.  Instead, try to learn, focus your attention on getting back into your new lifestyle.  Did I do that today?  No.

After the weighing, for my meals today, I ate a collection of leftovers and other snacks I didn’t really want.  I had nothing to look forward to, I felt a bit paralyzed about my next move and unmotivated even to make a dinner.  Was I punishing myself?  It sure felt that way.  Can you guess the result, based on what I said above?  My body rebelled, of course.  I had a few pieces of candy which turned into a lot of candy, ice cream, and other goodies.  I am nearly a thousand calories over my limit today.  All because I fell into a trap I knew was coming. 

Can I learn from this?  Absolutely!  I will start with getting the next week back in order.  I will leave now to start cooking and I will make sure to treat myself well from now on.  My own eager participation is essential to this system.  If I have spoiled the new week already, oh well.  I will keep going for two weeks.  I will take motivation from wherever it comes.  But this is a joyful system, when done right.  I will pick up the pieces and build it all up again – it is worth it!

-The Doctor 

20190629 Saturday weigh-in

Part of my commitment to myself, an expression of my new values, is to weigh myself regularly from now on.   I have been doing that since January 2019, and I have been teaching the rest of the family, especially kids, to weigh themselves regularly.  That’s just how important it is, in terms of my new values.  What are the new values?  To be in control of my body’s weight.  To be as thin as I choose.  Those values are now superior in my moral hierarchy, to most other things.  It’s the price I am going to pay to keep control. 

Interruptions in the plan

Normally I post my weekly weighing in this spot.  I did weigh myself, but the number was almost the same as last week – down half a pound, that’s all.  I think I am getting sick and my body is retaining some fluid.  Remember I am wearing size 46 pants now, so I am losing weight.  My calorie numbers are on track.  I have been exercising, even.  This has happened before.  When I get sick, my weight fluctuates and becomes unreliable for a week or so.  I used to worry about interruptions in my weight loss a lot, but I am pretty confident in my system now.  Things will get back to normal as soon as I feel better.  I’ll keep writing.

-The Doctor

20190622 Saturday weigh-in

Saturday is my weighing day.  It’s reality day.  I have been counting calories all week, writing in my food journal, planning out meals and figuring out how I work and how to keep myself happily losing weight.  Did it all really happen?  Did I really lose weight?  

I believe I need my own willing cooperation to make weight loss and weight maintenance work.  I can’t force myself because I don’t have the kind of willpower that can do that for more than a couple of weeks.  Dieting, approached as a willpower problem, takes a lot of will and makes you feel unhappy.  Treating yourself well, on the other hand, takes only a little willpower and feels really good.  It produces results.  

Headed down

This is good news!  That means that since starting my weight control plan in January 2019, I have lost………

Pounds!!
0

Scale and reflection

I wasn’t happy when I got on the scale this morning. It said 265.8!  That’s what I weighed last week. 

I have been working hard on controlling my food intake this week, after a few uncertain weeks in the recent past.  The harder I work, the more I have to give up.  I am giving up the future where I have eaten more food, for a future where I am thinner.  And it has worked.  Every week (barring illness) I have weighed less than the week before.  It has correlated fairly well with how successful I was during the week, of keeping my calorie count low.  This week, my calorie count was practically a record low.  I mostly ate meat the whole week, and I really had hunger and calories under control.  And then the scale had me losing no weight?!?

I got off the scale.  I was going over in my mind all the things I might have gotten wrong this week.  The scale beeped – an error code was on the display.  Whew!  The higher weight was an error.  I let the display clear, got back on and I was down to 263.8.  It’s not as big a loss as I was hoping for, but still 2 pounds is a great amount to lose in one week.  My hard work was worth it. 

Based on this one week, working harder on restricting the calorie intake didn’t necessarily translate to a bigger loss than average, though.  I have had weeks where I lost three pounds or more.  It might just be circumstances, water weight, etc.  Next week will tell.  But now it is reward time.

My reward for passing halfway will be to make a gingerbread cake!  I have done that before, and I carefully made a half cake last time.  I can do that again.  I previously made a full icing recipe and used half last time, and froze half.  It was really good.  So the new lifestyle is rewarding, taking good care of myself is rewarding, and success is rewarded.  I am floating towards my thin weight on wings made of reward.  This is truly a transformative approach.  I urge everyone to lose weight this way.  

-The Doctor

20190615 Saturday weigh-in

Every week I check to see how good my food journal is and how well it reflects what is really happening.  The best way to check is to weigh myself and see how it matches what the food journal predicts!

This week was not the best week for my diet.  I lost focus, I didn’t reward myself every day, and consequently suffered from the urge to feel full.  My calorie average for this week was around 1950 per day.  On weeks where I have lost 2 pounds or more, I have averaged 1850 or less per day, over the week.  And a lot of the calories I ate this week were highly available, that is, came from processed foods high in carbohydrates.  I’m also not convinced I remembered to write down everything I ate.  So this total might be too low.

On the other hand, the total calorie count was far below what I needed to lose weight.  How did I do this morning on the scale?

Does the new camera make my feet look orange?

Progress!  I didn’t lose two and a half pounds, which is more usual, but I did lose more than one and a half pounds.  Officially, since starting my diet I have lost (in round numbers):

Pounds!!
0

Wooooaaah, I'm half way there

There is an extra 0.8 pound on top of the 265, so it’s not as good as it sounds, but in round numbers 265 puts me at exactly half of the weight I intend to lose.  That’s a total of 120 pounds, starting at 325, down to 205.  It’s taken six months to get this far.  I predict that the remaining 60 pounds will take another six months.  Then will begin the maintenance phase of my new lifestyle.

I am really a new person now.  This was brought home to me when talking with my parents.  They are coming to visit soon.  When I asked what they wanted to eat, they demurred and said they would adapt to what I had.  That’s not the way the Doctor works now!  I will only eat food I really want.  It makes me less adaptable, but it is a trade off I am willing to make, since it makes me so successful at controlling my weight and losing weight.  I have never succeeded at losing weight before, certainly not 60 pounds. 

Anyway, I gave my parents a hard time, and insisted that they should have food they really want while they are visiting.  It was like pulling teeth.  They don’t want to put me to trouble, but truly, I am a new person now.  I am different than the man they knew just a few months ago.  Compared to them, I am now obsessed about my food choices and weight.  Now, I am horrified that they would just make do.  To me, in severe calorie deficit, that wouldn’t work at all.  Why would I bother with eating less, if I didn’t love it?  Why should they?  

Once I have achieved a body weight that I like, I will not stop my weight loss program.  This is my new lifestyle and I like it.  I am paying attention to my own needs and taking care of myself, and I find that enjoyable and emotionally satisfying.  This is an amazing way to lose weight.  What adaptation will I have to make to transfer to a weight-maintenance lifestyle?  What will that be like?

-The Doctor

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